Monday, August 24, 2015

Trepidation

Today feels a bit like my last day of freedom. I begin a series of professional development classes tomorrow, have inservice week next week and will have kids back at school the following week. I know that most of you have sent your kids back to school already, but teaching is a funny sort of a job in that every year you feel like you get to start over.

Not from scratch, certainly, but whereas most jobs have a learning curve in the beginning and then you get your groove and move forward, every September feels like this to me. While many things I'm teaching will be the same, each new collection of kids brings it own set of challenges.

What will stay the same:

* Administration. This is good because it means that there won't be that awkward adjustment period to the new boss.
* Professional development. I have mixed thoughts here. The emphasis on teamwork from last year had many positives, but also tied my hands regarding other things. Additionally, the "proof" we need to demonstrate that our kids are actually learning something is very rigorous and number-based. It is a thing that creates hours of extra work for very little value.
* Teachers. I'm on essentially the same teams of teachers as last year and already have an effective, or even good, working relationship with all of these colleagues. I sincerely look forward to continued collaboration and am grateful not to have unknown quantities in this direction.

What will change

* New Building. This has been ongoing, but my classroom (I saw it today) is really mostly finished and very lovely and exciting. Shared lab space will be an interesting challenge to navigate, but my classroom is enormous with delicious amounts of storage. This is very exciting. Dollar store (for containers) here I come!
* Redesigned Class. My Foundations class (basically 9th grade physical science) is being redesigned this year, though not too much. We are in the process of redesigning all our core science classes to better reflect NGSS standards, but cannot really make the change until textbooks are adopted . . . probably around 2017. (What a weird date to write; it sounds so futuristic. What the hell are we adopting textbooks for???)
* Three preps. This is probably driving the title of this post more than anything. Last year I taught Foundations and English 12. This year I'm also picking up biology. To anyone who has ever taught, you will understand the ramifications of three preps at the high school level. And remember, I'm part time. Everybody, apparently, loves me, but they are hoping to kill me at the same time. Ironically, biology is the thing I went to college for, and what I always saw myself teaching, though I haven't done so since 1999. It has taken me a very long time to get back to this place of doing what I love the most . . . and it is vitally important that I hit a homerun here. Our teacher with the most bio sections is retiring next year or the year after and if I'm good, then I'm well-positioned to take his place. Though I only teach ONE section this year (and will put in an extra 5-10 hours a week to make it happen), I have to be fantastic. Trepidation is right.
* Family schedule. I had hoped all would be the same this year, and it will, mostly except for the fact that my boys' twice weekly ride to karate (which I used in lieu of babysitting on those days, basically funding karate tuition with the savings), will no longer be available. This change seems little, but what it means is that, at least until Christmas, I will spend 3 more hours a week in the car and spend an extra $100/month on babysitting.
* Students. They are always so unknown--some amazing and delightful, some difficult beyond all reason, and most in the vast middle. I struggle to inspire the Amazings on to greater things, the Difficults to some semblance of discipline and desire, and the Middles? Mostly I struggle to know them and show them I care for them so that they aren't forgotten. But you never know what you are going to get, and I always struggle to know how to motivate and help them. It is a job where perfect is never really a choice. Knowing that you truly helped a handful is sometimes the best you can do.

But to quote the always great Tom Hanks from A League of Their Own, "If it was easy, everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great!"

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Passing on The Lessons From Girls' Camp

I shared some thoughts from my last post with the committee on Wednesday. I was careful to preface my remarks with praise for their powerful efforts and time in behalf of our children. Then I basically put it to the brothers like this:

As moms we loan our children to you for a weekend a month and every Wednesday night, hoping that they will come home a little better each time. We pray that the young men's program will give them something that we are unable to, while encouraging their growth as men and as priesthood holders at the same time. Please don't squander that time with them. Take opportunities to share your love of the gospel, your best and most faith promoting mission stories and your love of your families.

I felt emotional when I spoke, but this was a roomful of men here, so I kept it together pretty well and felt the spirit. Even in a little calling/assignment you can have a stewardship for which you get inspiration.

My comments were well-received, particularly because some of this very thing was done just a couple of weeks ago at Scout camp, a thing I also acknowledged and expressed gratitude for. It was agreed that, by and large, it was one of the better scout camp experiences the boys from this ward have ever had. The boys had greater unity and more fun than ever before.

A few years ago, I sat in a parent and leader meeting with two wards as we discussed the possibilities of combining our programs. Numbers of youth in both wards were low and many of the kids attended school together. We were looking for a way to make it possible to staff cubs, YM and YW as well as create larger groups of kids so that they might be more encouraged to attend. It was an emotional evening, with the vast majority of adults present in agreement that despite any logistical challenges to combining the programs, it was up to the grown ups to figure it out and get along for the sake of the kids.

One brother, in particular, was very emotional as he basically begged for something, anything, that might help encourage his son to want to be at church. This man is a perpetual joker and generally laid back, so and I'll never forget the tenderness of that plea, nor the overwhelming Spirit I felt as I knew this was the right path for our ward and stake. That this choice had marvelous potential to bless the lives of our children.

In our small and rather inactive ward, this brother and his wife were key in helping run many of our programs. They are also our very good friends. Three months later he came across some anti-Mormon literature, for really the first time, unbelievably, and three weeks later he and his wife asked to have their names removed from the church records. It was literally that fast.

As they sat in our home and told us of their decision, I couldn't help but remember that just three months previous he would have given anything to have his son be a believing member. I know their decision to leave was based on many things, but I have sometimes wondered if the family stress alleviation was part of that choice.

Many prayers and soul-searching were given by many upon their leaving. I think some probably followed suit in their own way and time, but I think the Lord is also merciful. Our ward has exploded with families in the intervening time and it is a different place now than it was when they left. Our programs are running well and strong; there are plenty of people to accept and admirably fulfill callings. Our primary has doubled in size in the past 2-3 years. All of our auxiliaries are fully staffed and functioning in a way I've never seen before in this ward.  I'm grateful and humbled that the Lord would see fit to bless our ward family in this way, when so many of us were hurting so badly.

Church administration and running the programs can be such a hassle sometimes. It can seem that we are serving the church itself rather than the people. But now and then there are moments of complete clarity when I really get it. I know that the Church is imperfect and run by imperfect people trying, and succeeding on balance, to know the Lord's will for helping to move us forward as a people. The Church is merely a simulacrum for the kingdom of Heaven. It is where we learn to serve strangers, and come to love them. It is where we learn to sit side-by-side and work with people that we might not choose to be friends with. It is a means for us to forget self, sacrifice and serve others. I'm grateful for it. Even when it is messy. I'm sure I'd be a lot messier on my own.