Caught

This morning I finished my newspaper route just before six o'clock. It was still very dark, but a perfect mid-fall morning: clear and cold. The crisp air made the stars seem even brighter, cutting straight down into me. Orion soared overhead in his winter habitat; Cassiopeia was even vividly recognizable from my childhood memories; the Big Dipper was tipped clear on its side, ladling its contents over hundreds of millions of square miles.

I was exhausted--I've been trying to get by on five hours of sleep too many days in a row--but I felt that contented sense of accomplishment that follows a job well done. Even a mundane job. I was eagerly anticipating crawling back into my warm bed and getting another hour's rest. The song on my iPod was "One" by U2, though it was the Mary J. Blige cover version. I think "One" is probably my favorite song of all time, and Ms. Blige's version beats the pants off even the sublime original.

I walked over to my car and looked up into that awesome, cold sky, held my arms aloft and let those remarkable lyrics just wash over me:

Did I ask too much?
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now that's all I got

We're one
But we're not the same
Will we hurt each other?
Then we do it again

You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law

You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should

One life with each other
Sisters.
Brothers.

One life
But we're not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other . . . .


I was transported a billion miles away from that cold dark street and I felt like a part of the music, like a key cog in the immense functioning of the universe, a person who might make a difference with the power to help carry others. Arms still aloft, I spun around and looked skyward at all of God's glorious creation, as if I might somehow embrace it all. It was one of those moments when you are completely by yourself, and yet your connection to every living thing is so powerful that you feel like a sister to each human child and red-gold maple.

Then I heard a noise.

I stopped and looked. A man with a dog, whom I sometimes see in the morning on a different street, was walking toward me, just fifteen feet away. He glanced at me in the dark and quickly switched to the other side of the street. No doubt to get away from the crazy woman, who at least had the sense to keep her barbaric yawping to herself. All my momentary poetry turned to prose and, holding my head down, jumped in the car, missing first gear in my haste to get away.

Ten minutes later I crawled into bed, all glorious sense of possibility drained away, today feeling no more or less special and essential than yesterday or the day before. Exhaustion was more powerful than my insight into the divine.

But for a moment, just before dawn, I knew that the whole universe was possible, my potential limitless, my capacity to DO immense. You must download that song--it is the best $1.29 I've ever spent.

Yankee Girl is My New BFF

You are all a bunch of duds. Only Desmama, with her less than a week old baby has a reasonable excuse. However, I will allow that the holidays have all of you much too busy to enter silly contests. You are too busy spending money to win free stuff I guess . . .

As if anybody cares at this point, here is my list of ten downloads that have each already been listened to ten times in the last couple of days:

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen: Bare Naked Ladies featuring Sarah McLachlan
I was always a little bit "meh" about this particular carol, but the way they have put together the rhythms and the harmony in this rendition has moved it quickly up to one of my favorites. It is fun, but not taken lightly at the same time. If you get what I mean. If you don't, please find a copy of this and listen to it. Go. Now. I'll wait. . . .

Baby It's Cold Outside: Lady Antebellum
I have loved this song ever since I heard Zoey Daschenel sing it on "Elf." (She has an awesome voice.) It is just so clever and funny and seductive all at once. The harmony of this country band is really great and the little bit of steel guitar in the background is a lot of fun.

Last Christmas: Taylor Swift
Yes, it is THAT song from the 80's. It was the first Christmas song I remember hearing that made me think, "Wait! Christmas songs don't actually have to have anything to do with Christmas?" When George Michael sings it, it is mostly cheesy and kind of pathetic, but Taylor Swift can really get away with it. Nobody does innocent teen angst better than Miss Swift.

A Baby Changes Everything: Faith Hill
The lyrics to this are so cool. All along the song is about how Mary's life is changed because of this unexpected teen pregnancy. But at the end, you realize that this baby changed everything for everyone. It is beautiful.

Take A Walk Through Bethlehem: Trisha Yearwood
I must admit, Trisha could sing the alphabet and I'd probably think it was awesome. I love so many parts of this song. "Every heart longs for more than tinsel, something more than just a holiday, come and celebrate the baby king, let's take a walk . . . "

There's a New Kid In Town: Trisha Yearwood.
Again, see the comment on the previous song. It has very beautiful lyrics about seeking out the king and asking everyone in town where he is. Queen Trisha can really do no wrong. (I won't even talk about how gypped she is every year when the best female vocalist award is announced. She beats them all into the ground, she just doesn't have the popularity. There is a difference between being able to sing and selling a bazillion albums.)

Do You Hear What I Hear?: Kristin Chenoweth
This woman sounds like an angel. I mean, what I assume angels sound like. I'm not trying to imply I've actually heard angels singing.

Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home): U2
C'mon, its Christmas, its U2, what's not to love?

All I Want For Christmas Is You: Mariah Carey
Not a big Mariah Carey fan. I just really don't care much for pop music. But in this song, she proves why she is a superstar. It is perfect. And none of that wailing in octaves only meant for dog ears.

Christmas Wrapping: The Waitresses
I love this song. It is really just hilarious. The premise would make a screenplay for a funny Christmas movie, I think. Hm . . . that is one more writing project idea that I'll probably never start.

Anyway, Yankee Girl chose two from the list, plus she put the U2 song on her blog playlist. Her last post was about how much she loved Kristin Chenoweth. So, obviously, I like country music better than she does, but with the her new playlist maybe she'll convert.

We'll Celebrate With a Contest!

I thought for my 200th post we would do something REALLY fun. Last week Nem had people post favorite Christmas movies and then books. A couple of days ago I was going to ask all of you lovely people about favorite Christmas songs and then download the best. Then I thought, "Wait a minute! I don't care what everyone else likes. It's MY iPod!"

So now we are going to play a little guessing game. I downloaded TEN new Christmas songs yesterday. Only two of them are from the same album. Here is how you play: List ten Christmas songs in your comment. The person who most accurately guesses my list (with at least TWO matches) will win the prize.

Free blog visits for the next year.

Kidding. Of course, kidding. If you get the most correct guesses, I will download these ten shiny new songs onto a CD and send them to you. If I am going to get it to you by Christmas, the contest has to end by Saturday morning. (If I don't have your e-mail address, you'll need to give it to me so that I can get your actual address.)

So, ready to play?

Since I don't have a playlist running on the site, I realize that you might need a few hints. Here they are:

1. Martina McBride, Jewel and Harry Connick Jr.' s Christmas albums are already loaded onto my iPod.

2. When I taught school in Utah, I downloaded the livestream for 101.9 The End's Christmas music for my students to listen to while they worked on projects. This radio station is actually one of the things I miss the most about Utah.

3. My top five most played songs are by David Cook, Trisha Yearwood, Kelly Clarkson, Keith Urban and KT Tunstall. Though my Top 25 also includes Garth Brooks, Jann Arden, Madonna, Matchbox 20, Toto, Phil Collins and The Wreckers.

4. All of the songs were easily found through iTunes: I already knew either the artist or the names of the songs I was looking for. It was really easy to find what I wanted under the "Holiday" genre.

5. If you choose anything by Manaheim Steamroller then you are dead to me.

Footloose and Fancy Free. And a Little Sick to my Stomach.

Plantboy is out of town again. Why is it that two nights away from hubby and I revert to bachelorette mode?

He has been gone about 24 hours, and I've accomplished quite a lot--mostly because I threatened to abolish story-time if I wasn't given help to clean up the house RIGHT NOW, LITTLE MISTERS. But I also realize that this 24 hours has been full of wastes as well:

I watched TV until nearly midnight, including the CMA's which would never have flown with Plantboy home. I flipped between that and another show I like, only to miss Keith Urban singing his new song, which was the main reason I was watching the CMA's to begin with. And no, Nem, his shirt was not unbuttoned to his navel even once. Does anyone else think Nicole Kidman isn't so much aging as she is turning into an alien? After the CMA's I spent an hour watching "Sahara," which is actually a pretty good movie, as far as that sort of thing goes. Which is more attractive? Matthew McConaughy without a shirt, or Steve Zahn being hilarious and needing a hat? If you said "Plantboy," you got the right answer.

Having missed The Keith, I then surfed the Internet until 1 a.m. hoping someone had posted footage from the show. No luck.

I read nearly 250 pages to finish my novel: Spindle's End. I love Robin McKinley, but this was a little obtuse for my fantasy-light taste. More along the lines of Rose Daughter than The Blue Sword. (If you've read McKinley, you'll know what I mean. If not, you MUST read Hero and the Crown and The Blue Sword.)

Corn dogs. Two. I ate two corn dogs for "dinner" last night. Even my kids won't eat corn dogs.

Not wanting to make my bed again, I slept on top of my covers with a blanket over the top. But only on half the bed. The other half is covered with junk from the emptied furniture I was supposed to spend some time refinishing today. Oh, and I took a nap.

Pizza. Homemadish, but still pizza.

After a morning of errands, I put on my flannel PJ bottoms for comfort during the housework; I also wore these for my nap. The Jedi Master getting home from school woke me up. The first words out of his mouth were, "Are you STILL in your pajamas?" I was a little defensive.

Dr. Pepper. Ooo! That reminds me--the other 20 ounces are still out in the car.

Chocolate. Of course. It's only 9:30, west coast time. Who wants to come hang out?

On Summertime Movies, of Which I Always See Too Many

Plantboy and I kind of have a standing rule about movies: if it will be just as meaningful on the small screen, for goodness sake, don't pay $8 apiece to see it when you can Redbox it for a dollar if you are a little bit patient. This is because (a) we are cheap and (b) date nights are limited. What it really means is that I haven't seen a chic flick (aka, movies with good acting, characterization, and getting acquainted before sleeping together) in the theatre since roughly, hmmmm, the Clinton administration.

In fairness to Plantboy, I DO like action-adventure movies, though I put my foot down to PG-13 comedies staring Jack Black or Adam Sandler. This is a fair trade-off, I think, for the allergic reaction he always fakes when I say "Jane Austen" or "Masterpiece Theatre" or even "period piece."

But we both have a deep and abiding love for movies based on comic books. Granted, some of these are better than others, and I haven't seen all of them. Since Tim Burton's Batman (4th of July weekend, the summer after 8th grade), the best of these have been X-Men I, Batman Begins and Spiderman II. The worst list has to include Daredevil, Catwoman, and Fantastic Four.

Yes, they are formulaic. Yes, they can be a little bit creepy. Yes, you have to suspend all belief for two or more hours to lose yourself in such film-making.

And, yes, I love them. There is nobody in this forum from my college days (pity), but I will admit that for several years I hung a poster of the Fox cartoon Batman on my wall. Holding out for my own hero I suppose. I guess we all need a little bit of guilty pleasure in our lives.















But last night, I think I may have just seen the best of the lot. Ironman is pretty much awesome.
And though everyone is saying it right now, Robert Downey Junior is really great in this role. He takes a bad rap because he was such a crackhead in the late 90's, but some of his earlier stuff is not bad. (His performance in Heart and Souls is particularly good.)

My friends and I were all pretty much in love with him in junior high/high school. He isn't such a hottie now--he's looks like he's been around the block a few too many times, and he has those same fakey white veneers that every Hollywood star pays way too much money for, but this movie is just great.



Except for one thing. He never kisses Pepper Potts. Which is just lame. Who can resist the intelligent, red-headed, freckly Gwenyth? Or does she resist him? Either way, huge mistake.

24

I've often thought it was ridiculous how much could happen to Jack Bauer in just 24 hours. But let me recount my last 24.

Tuesday 8 am--Scallywag gets on his bus, which came late on the day I really needed it to be on time. I turn off Poopy Pirate's show to get him dressed to go to the doctor for Captain Tootypants' four month visit (two weeks late). Pirate has his first tantrum of the day and I hold him down to dress him and wrestle him into the car. Tootypants begins crying because he woke up at six and is wanting his first nap. The clinic is not where I thought it was and I end up fifteen minutes late.

9am--I call the clinic in L**** to ask them to fax Tootypants' shot record to my new clinic. I fill out the paperwork while Tootypants cries and Pirate pulls out every toy in the place. We see the doctor who is really nice but find out that poor Tootypants is in single digits for both height and weight. The first of my children to earn this auspicious honor prior to their second birthday. We wait for the shot nurse. . . . and wait. . . . and wait. . . . Tootypants falls asleep in my arms while Pirate runs around the tiny exam room throwing his second (or third?) tantrum of the day.

10am--I get to the car and call the moms I'm supposed to have at my house for pre-school right at that minute to tell them I'll be late. I'm home about four minutes when we start preschool. We sing songs, I try to keep the kids out of the toys (it is their first day and they just want to play), and try to interpret the language of 2 1/2 year olds that are not my own. Princess Pink (one of the pre-schoolers) poops. She won't let me change her. We get out the playdoh (this is NOT a euphamism for poop.)

11 am--I referee playdoh while I clean up the breakfast dishes. I tell Cutie Haircut (another pre-schooler) that she can't mix the colors. She says nothing and just gives me THE LOOK while digging in deeper to the white she had and the red she stole from Princess Pink. She squeezes the mass defiantly in her chubby patties and I just decide there are some things not worth fighting over. Yellow eventually makes it into the mix. I read stories to Princess (stinky) Pink and Pirate while Cutie Haircut destroys the rest of the Playdoh. Play time! I pass out fruit snacks while Pirate walks around telling everybody what to play with. He also poops so Princess Stinky doesn't feel so lonely. Scallywag gets off the bus and yelps, "What are all these babies doing in the house!" He then demands a peanut butter sandwich because kindy snack time was only a square piece of cinnamon cake, not a triangle. Mommys come.

Noon--Clean up, lunch, Diego's Animal Safari rescue and some house clean up. Change to the big-boy pants because Poopy wants peep-treats instead of lunch. Tantrum # whatever we are on ensues.

One pm--Baby wakes up and all that comes with a child who had four shots in his less than chubby legs just a few hours before.

Two--Baby goes back down. Kids go outside. The neighbors are putting up a new fence and have taken out the old one, so if the kids are disobedient then they can easily walk through two yards and jump right into the open pool I didn't even know was on the block. Thankfully, kids are obedient and fascinated watching the worker-guys. Why do they always have to smoke? Three and four wasn't super busy. Just the typical mom stuff and house cleaning and never-ending laundry. Mommy gets a few minutes of down time.

Four--Comb hair and do make up. Change clothes. Run off Mapquest directions to the tutoring center where I will go to meet my first client. Plantboy comes home and gets his "instructions" for dinner, etc. I wake up the baby and feed him.

Five--Drive through half and hour of horrific traffic to get to the center. Meet my client. My cellphone rings, but I don't pick it up or look at the number. In the seven o'clock hour I find out that it was my home teacher who tried to call before dropping by, but dropped by anyway. I spend a half and hour working through six homework problems. Negative and positive numbers.

Six--I try to help my student through his science homework because it is covering the same concepts he is STRUGGLING with in math. I hope the CAPS show some of the mightyness of his struggle. He doesn't get it. Not. At. All. I meet Dad who happens to be a principle at a local high school. I think we may have some reasonable expectation problems here. Drive home through lesser traffic though still a pain. I turn my IPod way up. I listen to Keith Urban's Stupid Boy about three times. No reason. It is just a good wailing song.

Seven-- I come in the door to a nice spaghetti dinner, or at least I think it will be. The baby takes one look at me and starts wailing. Apparently Tootypants had been angelic until he saw me, but one look at Pirate's red, blotchy eyes told me that he had been less than happy during Daddy in charge time. Another look at Plantboy's face told me the same. Hold baby while I eat cold spaghetti. Hand off baby for Plantboy to change his horrificly stinky (cloth) diaper, sort laundry, help Scallywag clean up toys, Pirate refuses to help and has to be put in the tub kicking and screaming. I am soaked by the time he comes out. Put Scallywag in the shower, nurse baby while Plantboy deals with Pirate.

Eight--Put down Pirate and Tootypants, they fall asleep almost immediately. Small favors. Read to Scallywag, put him down. Go through Tuesday folder items and write out check for school pictures, wishing that Scallywag didn't have that big black bruise on his face where he and Pirate head butted each other while jumping on my bed. Remind Scallywag not to sing the alphabet song at the top of his lungs in the bedroom he shares with two sleeping brothers.

Nine--Begin to do dishes and decide I'm just too tired and want to go to bed. Then, for some reason I begin going through all of the products in the house hunting for Box Tops For Education.

Ten--Go to bed. As soon as I lay down, Scallywag begins crying and whimpering. I go into him. He is hot and grouchy and his cold medicine hasn't really kicked in yet. I change his pajamas and put him back in bed. Fifteen minutes later he begins calling out and crying again. He tells Plantboy he is scared of monsters. They pray, talk for the hundredth time about monsters not being real and put him back to bed. He lays next to me and tells me he is afraid of Star Wars. Plantboy moves him when he drifts off.

Eleven--Sweet sleep.

Midnight--Again with the monsters and Scallywag. I move him out to the couch where it is cooler and there is more light. Sweet Sleep.

Two am--Nurse the baby. He doesn't eat well, so I know he'll be up again, but I'm so exhausted I fall immediately asleep. Go back to bed.

Five am--Baby wakes up again. Plantboy's alarm goes off at 5:30 because it is Ride Your Bike To Work Day. Baby won't go back to sleep, but lays in bed squealing at me for half and hour.

Six am--Bounce baby to keep him happy to avoid waking up big brothers. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. He is finally relaxed enough to lay down, but there is no point in trying to sleep as the big kids will be up any minute.

Seven-twenty am--I should have gone back to sleep. Surprisingly, they woke up very cheerfully and Scallywag even made his bus on time.

At eight I should have gone to sleep for at least thirty minutes while Pirate watched his last show of the morning, but I kept thinking the baby wouldn't last much longer. Again, mistake. Because here I am blogging and the baby is still sleeping. . . . only now the pirate is poopy again.

And just when I thought it had been a VERY long day, my mother calls to tell me that my sister is down and out with strep throat and a kidney stone. It can always get worse. :) Hopefully blogging my own version of 24 will keep a smile on my face through this inevitably exhausting day. And if it puts a smile on a few of your faces then it is as good as saving the world.

My Inner Diva

Okay, so we got moved and checked out. Here is a shout out to karatemommy for helping watch my kiddos today while I ran some errands in Logan after the checkout. Even Captain Tootypants was an angel baby for her. I'm quickly learning that an hour of alone time for a mother of three is a great gift.

But this afternoon I'm not thinking about any of that. The reason being that all three of my kids fell asleep in the car, so I turned the radio up and flipped through the channels like a mad woman, stopping only on sing-a-long songs.

This is one of my favorite vices, and has been for some time: I love to sing out loud in my car to the radio. If you were to drive by me when I was alone in my car, you'd see me really belting it out. (As did the missionaries in Texas once; it was embarrassing because Plantboy was the WML at the time and the missionaries were at our house at least once a week. It wasn't like I'd never see them again. They just smiled and waved.)

But I digress . . . .

What I want to do here is give you the top ten songs (in no real order) I'd drive 8 times around the block for, just to hear every note. I've even included my favorite line from each. These are songs I know every word to; time or distance doesn't seem to strip their magic for me. And when I get my IPod (I'm saving my pennies), these are some of the first that I will download:

1. Total Eclipse of the Heart (Bonnie Tyler) "Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magic and wondrous as you."
2. I Need a Hero (Bonnie Tyler) "Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?"
3. It Matters to Me (Faith Hill) "Tell me how far it is, how you can love like this, cause I'm not sure I can."
4. Its All Coming Back to Me Now (Celine Dion) "The flesh and the fantasy all coming back to me now."
5. Bad (U2) "If I could throw this lifeless life line to the wind and leave this hollow place."
6. Like a Prayer (Madonna) "I hear you call my name and it feels like home."
7. Against All Odds (Phil Collins) "But to wait for you, well that's all I can do, and its a chance I've got to face"
8. Once in a Lifetime (Keith Urban) "Well the first one's born and a brother comes along and he's got your smile"
9. The Search (Survivor) "Then I look into your eyes, I can see forever, the search is over, you were with me all the while"
10. Faithfully (Journey) "Wondering where I am, lost without you"
11. Insensitive (Lisa Loeb) Any line from the whole song!
12. As I Lay Me Down (Sophie B. Hawkins) "I want to meet you, barefoot, barely breathing."
13. Forever Young (Alphaville) Again, take your pick.
14. Falling Out Of Love (Reba) "Ain't it funny how his voice cracks, when you're saying goodbye?"
15. Meet Me In Montana (Dan Seals and yes, Marie Osmond) "I want to see the mountains in your eyes."

Wait, did I say TEN songs? Okay, well there are 15. I couldn't really choose, and there are others too. Each of these songs is like a little gift when they show up at odd times on the radio. I wonder if when they do get downloaded to the IPod they will lose some of the magic?