The embarrassing part is how long it has been since I have maintained this site. I just have to admit it: going back to work has been kicking my butt.
I have kept up with Aspiring Mormon Women, and my piece there today will explain a lot about my absence here.
We did have a lovely spring break, however, up in the Puget Sound. I hope before the weekend is out to post pictures of our adventures in the hinterlands of the United States and to tell about some of our adventures there.
Conference is this weekend as well. No doubt the web will light up with many who have much to say--there will be voices angry about what wasn't said or done. There will be joyful voices restrain the perfection they find in every utterance. And there will be millions of members of the Church who feel caught somewhere in the spectrum between these two. I am sure that I will be one of them. And, because it seems that I can't quite help myself, no doubt I will have something to say too.
Friday, April 04, 2014
Friday, March 07, 2014
Guest Posting
I'm at Aspiring Mormon Women today.
This piece is a rework of something I wrote here about 5 years ago. In recent months I've become more agitated about some of the teachings we continue to perpetuate onto young women. I think this piece is my way of responding to that pricking of the spirit that tells me things have to change.
This piece is a rework of something I wrote here about 5 years ago. In recent months I've become more agitated about some of the teachings we continue to perpetuate onto young women. I think this piece is my way of responding to that pricking of the spirit that tells me things have to change.
Thursday, March 06, 2014
Sick Days
Sick today. But I don't have the easiest job for just calling in sick, you know. Especially when I am not that far ahead of my students. So I've called in sick tomorrow. Which is awesome except for the fact that my own children don't have school tomorrow and I brought home at least a day's worth of work.
Still, the crocuses are blooming and the magnolia is showing signs of life. It was sunny this morning at 7 o'clock. Spring may not cure all difficulties, but it sure makes it easier to put on a happy face!
Still, the crocuses are blooming and the magnolia is showing signs of life. It was sunny this morning at 7 o'clock. Spring may not cure all difficulties, but it sure makes it easier to put on a happy face!
Saturday, March 01, 2014
Catch-22
Some weeks are harder than others. Some weeks you take more deep breaths and remind yourself more often to count your blessings.
This week was one of them.
We would like to move. Very much. When we bought this house it was supposed to be so temporary. I certainly never saw us in the house for seven years. But we bought in the summer of 2007. If you did this, or know anybody who did this, you understand the situation we are in.
Even after 7 years of payments, we cannot sell it (and cover realtor fees) for what we still owe on it. I think the house would sell quickly once we decide to sell it. It is small, but we have a very nice neighborhood. We have taken good care of it and made some nice updates. The carpet is in need of replacement, but this isn't a huge expense because it is probably only about 900 square feet to carpet.
We have seen several houses that we like, and have just about saved a the bare minimum of a down payment to make an offer. We've looked at all the factors--taxes, down payment, PMI (which we don't currently pay) and think a monthly payment is within reach.
Sometimes life seems so unnecessarily complicated. We just want to be making a payment we can afford in a more comfortable house. But choices we made 7 years ago, with no way of predicting the future, are keeping us from being able to do this simple thing.
Within a year we will be even on this house. But prices and interest rates are going up, and houses we can afford now could very well be out of reach a year from now.
Did you buy a house in 2007? Have you bought one since? How did you mange?
It is hard to be looking at the downhill slope to age 40, having owned two homes, and not even have a dollar of equity to show for it. And I'm trying very hard not to think of my younger sister who had equity in a condo when they walked away from college and managed to sell a home right in the middle of the recession for her asking price and will have her beautiful McMansion paid for in about 12 years.
Count your many blessings . . . name them one by one . . . count your many blessings, see what God has done . . . count your blessings . . . name them one by one . . .
My mantra today.
This week was one of them.
We would like to move. Very much. When we bought this house it was supposed to be so temporary. I certainly never saw us in the house for seven years. But we bought in the summer of 2007. If you did this, or know anybody who did this, you understand the situation we are in.
Even after 7 years of payments, we cannot sell it (and cover realtor fees) for what we still owe on it. I think the house would sell quickly once we decide to sell it. It is small, but we have a very nice neighborhood. We have taken good care of it and made some nice updates. The carpet is in need of replacement, but this isn't a huge expense because it is probably only about 900 square feet to carpet.
We have seen several houses that we like, and have just about saved a the bare minimum of a down payment to make an offer. We've looked at all the factors--taxes, down payment, PMI (which we don't currently pay) and think a monthly payment is within reach.
Sometimes life seems so unnecessarily complicated. We just want to be making a payment we can afford in a more comfortable house. But choices we made 7 years ago, with no way of predicting the future, are keeping us from being able to do this simple thing.
Within a year we will be even on this house. But prices and interest rates are going up, and houses we can afford now could very well be out of reach a year from now.
Did you buy a house in 2007? Have you bought one since? How did you mange?
It is hard to be looking at the downhill slope to age 40, having owned two homes, and not even have a dollar of equity to show for it. And I'm trying very hard not to think of my younger sister who had equity in a condo when they walked away from college and managed to sell a home right in the middle of the recession for her asking price and will have her beautiful McMansion paid for in about 12 years.
Count your many blessings . . . name them one by one . . . count your many blessings, see what God has done . . . count your blessings . . . name them one by one . . .
My mantra today.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Yeah. Love This Guy.
Plantboy put together a great EQ party tonight. He hates parties. He hates planning. He hates being in charge. The motivation this time was a Brazilian-themed dinner. He has recently discovered just how many returned missionaries in the ward, himself included, went to Brazil on their missions. So he put on a full blown Brazilian BBQ. Like Rodizios without the $30/plate price tag.
As I saw the enthusiasm with which he prepared so much delicious food this weekend, and explained to everybody what they were eating, I was deeply touched. An LDS mission is remarkable thing. It is 20 years ago this year that my husband went to Brazil. Yet even now, the sound of spoken Portuguese, the sight of black beans and yes, even the smell of mildew, sends him down a lane of sweet memories and stories that are touching and funny by turns. As he shared the food, music and cheap souvenirs with his brothers and sisters tonight, the deep love he still holds for Brazil and the Brazilian people was apparent in every word.
I will teach Sunday school in the morning. I hope to convey to my young class how much a mission means, not just for your growth in the church, but for your whole life. When you learn to put yourself on hold and to do nothing but love and serve for 18 or 24 months, something deep inside you changes for good. For THE good.
There are many experiences that teach us to to love and to be unselfish. People from every walk of life, and any religion or NO religion can learn these lessons. But I still maintain that the LDS mission is a unique experience for the sheer speed at which these lessons are taught. I think it is an experience difficult to replicate in any other way. I'm grateful for the lessons of sincerity and compassion and devotion my husband learned so long ago and in that place.
And, you know, he just has a really cute face.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Only What You Take With
First of all, bonus nerd points for anyone who picks up on the movie reference in the post title.
Second of all: I love the new Sunday School/YW/YM format. I love nearly everything about it. After teaching there for nine or ten months I can give some reasons for why I think it is far superior to the previous situation.
1. There is much variety in what I can choose from each week and each month. I can pick the topics and talks that I feel the most inspired to teach, as well as materials that I feel the most strongly about. We have spent the last couple of weeks talking about the importance of life-long learning, both in the spiritual and in the secular sense. We talked about truth and how the Holy Ghost can help us with all our learning. We talked about wisdom versus facts. We talked about preparation to bring both ourselves and others joy. I testified to my class of all boys about the importance of supporting girls in their educational endeavors. Oh! There was so much to share!
2. If the kids are involved in the teaching, there are many chances for them to gain testimony and to practice for their own missionary experiences. This is a big "if," obviously, and has been challenging, but the kids are getting more used to these experiences and getting better at them.
3. It is light on scriptures stories, and heavy on practical applications of living the gospel. Don't get me wrong, I think that even young children can be taught to mine the scriptures for doctrine, and stories that can serve as metaphors in our own lives. But this new program uses the scriptures as a tool rather than as a focus. These teachings seem to be attempting to make a clear distinction between a seminary-type experience (gaining a knowledge of the scriptures) and practical religion (gaining a testimony that becomes a touchstone for a life of service to others).
In all the love, there are cautions however. My group is young, and the lessons seem ready to jump to "how do I teach others about the gospel" mode without pausing to consider that many (if not most or all) of these kids still have fledgling testimonies of their own. Sharing is definitely a way to strengthen and grow testimony, but a testimony also helps with the sharing. We have to be careful that we aren't putting the cart before the horse.
As mentioned above, the scriptures are given a supporting role and used equally with (or less than) prophetic teachings from recent conferences. While I think the balance is good, I think we also have to be careful not to make our children lazy students of the scriptures. I've been surprised by how unacquainted the children in my class are with all but the most basic scripture stories. Whereas Sunday School used to once emphasize these, it doesn't anymore. And a last caution that also matches a point above--because teachers now have so much autonomy over what is being taught, a large part of what is presented to your children is what the teacher brings with them. Emotionally. Spiritually. Intellectually. Teachers are encouraged to share experiences and ask class members to do the same. If your teen's teacher is somebody you aren't sure about (you know, the sister in your ward who prayed to find out if her canned green beans were as healthy as her home grown fresh ones and recieves inspiration that YES! They ARE!, that kind of person) then those same doctrines that make you squirm when they open their mouth in Relief Society or Sunday School are being passed to your kids.
Second of all: I love the new Sunday School/YW/YM format. I love nearly everything about it. After teaching there for nine or ten months I can give some reasons for why I think it is far superior to the previous situation.
1. There is much variety in what I can choose from each week and each month. I can pick the topics and talks that I feel the most inspired to teach, as well as materials that I feel the most strongly about. We have spent the last couple of weeks talking about the importance of life-long learning, both in the spiritual and in the secular sense. We talked about truth and how the Holy Ghost can help us with all our learning. We talked about wisdom versus facts. We talked about preparation to bring both ourselves and others joy. I testified to my class of all boys about the importance of supporting girls in their educational endeavors. Oh! There was so much to share!
2. If the kids are involved in the teaching, there are many chances for them to gain testimony and to practice for their own missionary experiences. This is a big "if," obviously, and has been challenging, but the kids are getting more used to these experiences and getting better at them.
3. It is light on scriptures stories, and heavy on practical applications of living the gospel. Don't get me wrong, I think that even young children can be taught to mine the scriptures for doctrine, and stories that can serve as metaphors in our own lives. But this new program uses the scriptures as a tool rather than as a focus. These teachings seem to be attempting to make a clear distinction between a seminary-type experience (gaining a knowledge of the scriptures) and practical religion (gaining a testimony that becomes a touchstone for a life of service to others).
In all the love, there are cautions however. My group is young, and the lessons seem ready to jump to "how do I teach others about the gospel" mode without pausing to consider that many (if not most or all) of these kids still have fledgling testimonies of their own. Sharing is definitely a way to strengthen and grow testimony, but a testimony also helps with the sharing. We have to be careful that we aren't putting the cart before the horse.
As mentioned above, the scriptures are given a supporting role and used equally with (or less than) prophetic teachings from recent conferences. While I think the balance is good, I think we also have to be careful not to make our children lazy students of the scriptures. I've been surprised by how unacquainted the children in my class are with all but the most basic scripture stories. Whereas Sunday School used to once emphasize these, it doesn't anymore. And a last caution that also matches a point above--because teachers now have so much autonomy over what is being taught, a large part of what is presented to your children is what the teacher brings with them. Emotionally. Spiritually. Intellectually. Teachers are encouraged to share experiences and ask class members to do the same. If your teen's teacher is somebody you aren't sure about (you know, the sister in your ward who prayed to find out if her canned green beans were as healthy as her home grown fresh ones and recieves inspiration that YES! They ARE!, that kind of person) then those same doctrines that make you squirm when they open their mouth in Relief Society or Sunday School are being passed to your kids.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Childhood Revisited? Yes, Please!
We babysat an adorable pair of twins on Valentine's night for some friends who very rarely get out. (Obviously.) We pulled all the trains out of the attic where they have been for nearly two years and made a massive train set that fills the living room. So, you know, a third of the house. Observations:
1. Despite his protests to the contrary, the 12 year-old still loves the trains. Even the little boy Thomas trains very much. He has had a hard time relinquishing control of the play and seems to remember many of the stories from the videos that have been out of the house for years.
2. My six-year old has decided he loves the trains. This delights my heart. By the time he was big enough to "play" with the brothers, they were doing Star Wars and he never really had that super sweet little child age.
3. Trying to help three boys get along with a wooden train set is much more difficult than just letting one or two boys have at it. (See observation #1 about the bossy 12 year-old).
4. Five kids is A LOT. Especially when two of them are 20 month old twins. But oh, wow. They are so cute. My arms are a feeble attempt to prevent disaster. I'm sure that little girl kept thinking, "Why is this strange lady hugging me so much?"
1. Despite his protests to the contrary, the 12 year-old still loves the trains. Even the little boy Thomas trains very much. He has had a hard time relinquishing control of the play and seems to remember many of the stories from the videos that have been out of the house for years.
2. My six-year old has decided he loves the trains. This delights my heart. By the time he was big enough to "play" with the brothers, they were doing Star Wars and he never really had that super sweet little child age.
3. Trying to help three boys get along with a wooden train set is much more difficult than just letting one or two boys have at it. (See observation #1 about the bossy 12 year-old).
4. Five kids is A LOT. Especially when two of them are 20 month old twins. But oh, wow. They are so cute. My arms are a feeble attempt to prevent disaster. I'm sure that little girl kept thinking, "Why is this strange lady hugging me so much?"
Sunday, February 16, 2014
To Do List
I think of all the things I would love to do if there was more time. I imagine in my head that if I had not gone back to work this year that I would have a delightfully clean house, three finished baby books, cupboards cleaned out and washed down, ironing always finished instead of piled up, my novel(s) finished. . . Both the ones I read and the ones I write, I would be at that target weight of 125, the yard would be weed free and my visiting teaching would be done by the fifteenth of every month.
I could go on but it is maybe better if I don't. I also need to remind myself to be realistic in these moments self-doubt and second guessing. An entirely different set of pressures and frustrations would be mine even as I accomplished my projects. I do have hope that next year will be better. There are certain, terrifying realities to being in your first year of teaching at a new school.
It seems that I used to be able to accomplish these tasks on top of my work, but it doesn't seem as possible anymore. Is it age? That my own children are busier? The distraction of technology? It is hard to say. I do hang on to hope that next year will be better. Maybe the workload won't be quite so heavy. Maybe there will be a slightly larger house to give us something to show for all our effort. Maybe we will settle into the new reality more readily. Maybe in the summer I will get to catch up on some of these projects.
Maybe.
Maybe.
But summer is already full. Also, I cannot shake the feeling that I will be asked to teach physics next year.
What would you do with more time. Or better yet, how do you carve out more time?
Friday, February 07, 2014
10,000 Hour Rule
Some years ago, my mom said to me that she thought my dad, who had served as a bishop as well as countless other callings and was in his 50's at the time, was, in his spiritual life, about the same place he would have been if he had gone on a mission. What she was saying is that it had taken him 30 years of active gospel living to get to the same place he might have been after a mission. It was an interesting thought, but one I tucked away and didn't think about much after. Until just recently.
Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book titled Outliers, that garnered a fair amount of press a couple of years ago. In the book he popularized the notion that, for complex tasks, 10,000 hours, on average, is the amount of time required for success at a high level. (Some have refuted his claims, but he cites his research and maintains his assertion.)
I was thinking about Gladwell recently because of an interesting essay of his regarding his rediscovery of faith. His essay, and his earlier ideas about the 10,000 hours led me to think about what it takes to become an expert in gospel living.
We talked about this idea in my Sunday School class a couple of weeks ago and ran some numbers. If you never do anything but attend church, it will take 64 years old to become an "expert."
If you do a calling that takes you up to two hours a week on top of church then you are looking more at 38 years.
If you add in 2 hours of scripture study/prayer to the mix then you are looking at 27 years.
Now add home or visiting teaching (an hour a week?) to family home evening (another hour) and random service (another hour) you get 19 years.
That is looking at about ten hours a week.
If you add weekly temple attendance to your ten hours the number goes down to about 16.
Attending four years of seminary gives you another 800 hours.
A mission probably adds another 5,500 hours in just proselyting time.
Don't get me wrong. Understanding the gospel isn't about punching an imaginary time clock. And merely going through these motions will never produce a mighty change of heart. But I maintain that not putting in the time can never sustain that converting feeling.
Many of our apostles have reiterated the notion of being "born again by degrees," possibly first coined by Elder Bruce R. McConkie. That our converting experiences happen line upon line, growing from grace to grace, and coming to a more perfect knowledge of truth. I believe strongly that they happen while we are all in the process of doing these things that fill our 10,000 hours.
What do you think? How does putting in the time help with that change of heart?
Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book titled Outliers, that garnered a fair amount of press a couple of years ago. In the book he popularized the notion that, for complex tasks, 10,000 hours, on average, is the amount of time required for success at a high level. (Some have refuted his claims, but he cites his research and maintains his assertion.)
I was thinking about Gladwell recently because of an interesting essay of his regarding his rediscovery of faith. His essay, and his earlier ideas about the 10,000 hours led me to think about what it takes to become an expert in gospel living.
We talked about this idea in my Sunday School class a couple of weeks ago and ran some numbers. If you never do anything but attend church, it will take 64 years old to become an "expert."
If you do a calling that takes you up to two hours a week on top of church then you are looking more at 38 years.
If you add in 2 hours of scripture study/prayer to the mix then you are looking at 27 years.
Now add home or visiting teaching (an hour a week?) to family home evening (another hour) and random service (another hour) you get 19 years.
That is looking at about ten hours a week.
If you add weekly temple attendance to your ten hours the number goes down to about 16.
Attending four years of seminary gives you another 800 hours.
A mission probably adds another 5,500 hours in just proselyting time.
Don't get me wrong. Understanding the gospel isn't about punching an imaginary time clock. And merely going through these motions will never produce a mighty change of heart. But I maintain that not putting in the time can never sustain that converting feeling.
Many of our apostles have reiterated the notion of being "born again by degrees," possibly first coined by Elder Bruce R. McConkie. That our converting experiences happen line upon line, growing from grace to grace, and coming to a more perfect knowledge of truth. I believe strongly that they happen while we are all in the process of doing these things that fill our 10,000 hours.
What do you think? How does putting in the time help with that change of heart?
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Better From Above
I suppose this could be yet another perspective piece. Last Monday (MLK Day) we decided that we couldn't stand the dreary, damp fog of Mordor any longer and so we drove 20 minutes south and went hiking up Spencer's Butte. To those of you living where there are "real" mountains, our little Butte will probably seem quite silly. But the view goes on for miles in every direction and allows us to see the distant tops of several volcanic mountains covered year round by snow.
The physical activity was marvelous and, seen from above, the thick blanket of white fog spreading below us in every direction was actually quite pretty. It was also 20 degrees warmer up on top, where we seemed to have joined everybody (and their dog, quite literally) trying to get enough vitamin D to last through the winter.
Snacks on the Butte and then plenty of running around on the sunshiny side. A boys paradise: lots of places to climb.
Okay, he might be the cutest thing I've ever seen. I think REI is getting this picture.
And isn't it hilarious when they pretend to not want their picture taken but they are really smiling because they can't help it?
I love my little ones! I don't have as many pictures from this day of Jedi Knight. My little Trailblazer Boy Scout kept getting way ahead of us. I guess that is what turning 12 is all about! Padawan and the Youngling kept pretty close to momma, however and they needed much encouragement to finish. It is a pretty steep little hike and feet and thighs were giving out by the end. I love reminding them that they can do hard things!
The physical activity was marvelous and, seen from above, the thick blanket of white fog spreading below us in every direction was actually quite pretty. It was also 20 degrees warmer up on top, where we seemed to have joined everybody (and their dog, quite literally) trying to get enough vitamin D to last through the winter.
Snacks on the Butte and then plenty of running around on the sunshiny side. A boys paradise: lots of places to climb.
Okay, he might be the cutest thing I've ever seen. I think REI is getting this picture.
And isn't it hilarious when they pretend to not want their picture taken but they are really smiling because they can't help it?
I love my little ones! I don't have as many pictures from this day of Jedi Knight. My little Trailblazer Boy Scout kept getting way ahead of us. I guess that is what turning 12 is all about! Padawan and the Youngling kept pretty close to momma, however and they needed much encouragement to finish. It is a pretty steep little hike and feet and thighs were giving out by the end. I love reminding them that they can do hard things!
Friday, January 17, 2014
Perspective Part Deux
One of my students was pulled from school today. In handcuffs. I didn't see him today because we have a block schedule and it wasn't my day to have him in class. He was pulled for threatening two teachers. Yes, threatening them in a way that leads to national headlines and no new gun laws. But not out loud--to a friend. A third party heard them and became concerned that it was serious so they told a teacher. I wasn't the teacher targeted. And maybe it was just all talk.
Maybe.
If you happen to run into a teen this week who feels a little unloved, try to reach out to them, please. I know this boy's story. And as much as I don't want our school to be another headline, I think that millions of kids like this boy need to be more in the forefront of our thoughts. Learning disabilities. Substance abuse from his caregivers. A restraining order against his mother while aging grandma struggles to feed him. Cutting. Such darkness that there may be no turning back for him. Maybe if these millions living lives of quiet desperation could get a little more positive attention in the form of funded schools, safe communities with green space for clear breathing, and loving families then we would have less of those other kinds of headlines. The ones that shatter lives and make us live in fear.
I hope I am a little more patient tomorrow. A little kinder. A little more forgiving while these kids figure out who they are going to be and reach out in their awkward ways to find guidance.
Maybe.
If you happen to run into a teen this week who feels a little unloved, try to reach out to them, please. I know this boy's story. And as much as I don't want our school to be another headline, I think that millions of kids like this boy need to be more in the forefront of our thoughts. Learning disabilities. Substance abuse from his caregivers. A restraining order against his mother while aging grandma struggles to feed him. Cutting. Such darkness that there may be no turning back for him. Maybe if these millions living lives of quiet desperation could get a little more positive attention in the form of funded schools, safe communities with green space for clear breathing, and loving families then we would have less of those other kinds of headlines. The ones that shatter lives and make us live in fear.
I hope I am a little more patient tomorrow. A little kinder. A little more forgiving while these kids figure out who they are going to be and reach out in their awkward ways to find guidance.
Wednesday, January 08, 2014
Perspective
Sometimes mothering is just a pain in the proverbial butt, you know? Last week we decided to take the kids on a spontaneous trip to the coast on New Year's Day. (Reason 357 to love Oregon, by the by.) The weather here in town has been a bit Mordor-like and we decided to chase the sunshine. The kids were funny about going . . . imagine my children not doing spontaneous well! (There is heavy snark in the last remark.) Anyway, we basically rolled out of bed at ten and hit the road by noon. We hiked first.
And, you know, I just wanted one stinking picture of those little rascals where they were all looking at the camera. Because if the Internet has taught me one thing, it is that perfect family photos are a symbol of perfect families.
Instead I got this series:
I finally put my camera away in disgust and started storming back the way we came--the photos were from our turn-around-spot. I clomped down the trail for a while, tears smarting and feeling it enormously unfair that I'm surrounded by boys ALL THE TIME. But honestly, you've seen my baby boy and when he sidled up next to me with his very contrite face and slipped his hand into mine, I didn't stay mad very long.
Then, few minutes later, I got my perfect shot:
Perfect families are just a myth. Of course. But perfect moments happen all the time. As I looked up that trail toward those four men of varying sizes that I love with an intensity that scares me sometimes, I decided that perfect is for wimps. The challenge and joy of these four is the thing that matters the most.
I just wish, for the love, that they'd stand still for some decent pictures!!
And, you know, I just wanted one stinking picture of those little rascals where they were all looking at the camera. Because if the Internet has taught me one thing, it is that perfect family photos are a symbol of perfect families.
Instead I got this series:
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Then, few minutes later, I got my perfect shot:
Perfect families are just a myth. Of course. But perfect moments happen all the time. As I looked up that trail toward those four men of varying sizes that I love with an intensity that scares me sometimes, I decided that perfect is for wimps. The challenge and joy of these four is the thing that matters the most.
I just wish, for the love, that they'd stand still for some decent pictures!!
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Just Noise
2013 has been a great year for our family. A defining year. I finished my master's degree and have gone back to work basically full time. (It didn't begin that way, but it has morphed that way.) Plantboy has gotten a couple of raises at work, as well as some cool professional opportunities. Our Christmas this year was almost ridiculously huge. For the first time in maybe ever, Christmas is paid for before the day is over. We were also able to be generous with others too. I looked at Santa last night when all the presents were laid out and said, "It is too much." Santa smiled and said, "It was a good year for our family, dear. Let's just celebrate."
Indeed, it is a season of enormous joy for us.
But even in a season of joy there can be loss. Another major defining aspect of 2013 was that a dear friend chose to leave the Church early in the spring. It was a rather public leaving, instead of a slow drift away that makes people wonder, "Hey, whatever happened to? . . . " This was more along the lines of leaving a gaping and unfilled hole in quorums and auxiliaries that left Plantboy and I reeling and depressed.
Their exit isn't anything that hasn't happened before. It isn't anything that won't happen again. But when it happens to somebody you love--to somebody you have cried with in the temple, to somebody with whom you felt the Spirit--it causes you to really examine your own faith. For Plantboy and I, it was an incredible time to renew our commitment and to consider our roles in the Lord's kingdom. But it was also a time of realistic reflection. I am not ignorant of the issues that drove my friends out. In truth, they are issues which I have struggled with off and on and in varying degrees for many years. They presented no "arguments" the night they came to speak with us that I haven't heard many times before.
But their exit has also brought powerfully to the foreground those many other friends that have left in recent years. Some left quietly, but others haven't quite been able to leave the church alone. They are anxious to post on every forum and to guide the discussions to their version of The Mormon Story--both as a collective and an individual narrative. Their proselyting efforts for their new views are exhausting, depressing, and sometimes contentious.
With the Church's release of of statements regarding both those of African ancestry and the Priesthood as well as polygamy, along with the recent court ruling regarding the unconstitutionality of Utah's gay marriage ban, the Internet has been especially volatile with this kind of thing in recent weeks. In response, it seems that other friends have gone almost overkill on the Christmas postings. My favorite of these today showed Santa kneeling at the manger. And while I know the photo is meant to be symbolic, it still mostly strikes me as a strange mix of symbols that are more ridiculous than spiritual.
I don't think difficult conversations are not worth having, particularly when these conversations can be had with reasonable people who have no agenda wishing to drive you from your beliefs. However, four rather profound things (profound to me) happened this month that have helped me to see so much of the debate over to-fellowship-or-not-to-fellowship is noise designed to distract us from seeing the everyday miracles that define our lives, and the lives of those who convert to the gospel.
First. A dear friend whom I met three and a half years ago through the missionaries, just announced that she was going to have a baby in June. Perhaps one more baby is not in itself so miraculous, but this is a woman who married the man who introduced her to the Church. They were sealed a year later. He is much older with two children from a previous marriage (one of whom comes home from a mission in June), and I am not sure there was an intention to have children when they got married. He had been there and done that and is pushing 50. But a fervent patriarch and a sealing later, this faithful couple has chosen to bring a child to the world. As we commiserated yesterday on the difficulties of pregnancy, she told me joyfully how her husband sees this as a second chance to be a real, present father. Our God is a god of second chances!
The second thing is that Jedi Knight was set apart as the secretary of his Deacon's Quorum. He takes this role very seriously and has been very sweet about it. While we waited for the bishop to do the setting apart, his teacher spoke about how a new convert might feel at church. The boys tried to get in the head of a convert, only to defer to their teacher, who joined the church around the same time that my above-mentioned friend did. He spoke about coming to play basketball at his wife's (a member) suggestion, and now here he was! Sealed to his wife and children . . . and teaching Jedi Knight's class. He took part in the setting apart--a man as hard as can be until not too many years ago. His joy in the gospel is palpable.
Three years ago was a time of powerful missionary work in our ward. We had a series of hard-working and delightful sisters followed by two of the most dynamic elders I've ever met. The sisters found and the elders taught an amazing family of Native American heritage. Three years ago (2010) this family joined us for one of the happiest Christmas Eves we've ever spent. They were all (everyone over 8) baptized in January of 2011. Plantboy ordained the husband to the Melchezidek Priesthood a year later. They embraced and wept. Eternal friends. Within a few months, the demands of a heavy sports schedule and their strong ties to their native community and fear that their culture was incompatible with the gospel, led them into inactivity. Contact was spotty, at their request, though Plantboy did not give up: frequently taking the husband to lunch and dropping by. They moved in the summer to be closer to the reservation. Two days ago I got a message from the mother. They have returned to full activity and she wanted to thank our family for our friendship and always believing in them. I can tell you . . . my joy is very full. Her news might just be the best Christmas gift I've ever had.
Okay, second best. Padawan is a December baby.
The last miracle of all is something that has been coming on all year, but was forcefully brought out to me this month when book group was at my house and in very full sacrament meetings all month. For a long time it seemed that our ward didn't grow. Just as many families moved out as moved in. Good families, but just some turn over, especially among younger families. There has long been a tired, worn-out feeling among those who serve here because the responsibilities are many, with many members moving from one demanding calling to the next without reprieve. And then, in about April, just after my friend's family cut ties with the Church, families began moving into our ward. A lot of families. Young, enthusiastic families with a talent for living the gospel well and reaching out to others. Two years ago, when I was in the primary presidency, we lamented our shrinking set of juniors and the tricky logistics of a single sunbeam. Next year? We will probably need TWO sunbeam classes to accommodate the hoard of precious little ones moving up in the world. There is a renewed commitment in our ward and the rejuvenation is electric.
I probably will still do my end of year book post, though it is rather weak this year, but this recognition of the many miracles I have seen this year has been the most precious gift to me in this week of Christmas. My faith is renewed and the reality of God's love has cut through so much static as clear as perfectly tuned radio. I must remember the spirit I have felt this week reminding me that these are Mormon Stories too, and the story of Mormonism is not yet fully written either. My goal for 2014 is to recognize the everyday miracles--to see them for what they are and not fall into over-analysis or cynicism as I view them.
Indeed, it is a season of enormous joy for us.
But even in a season of joy there can be loss. Another major defining aspect of 2013 was that a dear friend chose to leave the Church early in the spring. It was a rather public leaving, instead of a slow drift away that makes people wonder, "Hey, whatever happened to? . . . " This was more along the lines of leaving a gaping and unfilled hole in quorums and auxiliaries that left Plantboy and I reeling and depressed.
Their exit isn't anything that hasn't happened before. It isn't anything that won't happen again. But when it happens to somebody you love--to somebody you have cried with in the temple, to somebody with whom you felt the Spirit--it causes you to really examine your own faith. For Plantboy and I, it was an incredible time to renew our commitment and to consider our roles in the Lord's kingdom. But it was also a time of realistic reflection. I am not ignorant of the issues that drove my friends out. In truth, they are issues which I have struggled with off and on and in varying degrees for many years. They presented no "arguments" the night they came to speak with us that I haven't heard many times before.
But their exit has also brought powerfully to the foreground those many other friends that have left in recent years. Some left quietly, but others haven't quite been able to leave the church alone. They are anxious to post on every forum and to guide the discussions to their version of The Mormon Story--both as a collective and an individual narrative. Their proselyting efforts for their new views are exhausting, depressing, and sometimes contentious.
With the Church's release of of statements regarding both those of African ancestry and the Priesthood as well as polygamy, along with the recent court ruling regarding the unconstitutionality of Utah's gay marriage ban, the Internet has been especially volatile with this kind of thing in recent weeks. In response, it seems that other friends have gone almost overkill on the Christmas postings. My favorite of these today showed Santa kneeling at the manger. And while I know the photo is meant to be symbolic, it still mostly strikes me as a strange mix of symbols that are more ridiculous than spiritual.
I don't think difficult conversations are not worth having, particularly when these conversations can be had with reasonable people who have no agenda wishing to drive you from your beliefs. However, four rather profound things (profound to me) happened this month that have helped me to see so much of the debate over to-fellowship-or-not-to-fellowship is noise designed to distract us from seeing the everyday miracles that define our lives, and the lives of those who convert to the gospel.
First. A dear friend whom I met three and a half years ago through the missionaries, just announced that she was going to have a baby in June. Perhaps one more baby is not in itself so miraculous, but this is a woman who married the man who introduced her to the Church. They were sealed a year later. He is much older with two children from a previous marriage (one of whom comes home from a mission in June), and I am not sure there was an intention to have children when they got married. He had been there and done that and is pushing 50. But a fervent patriarch and a sealing later, this faithful couple has chosen to bring a child to the world. As we commiserated yesterday on the difficulties of pregnancy, she told me joyfully how her husband sees this as a second chance to be a real, present father. Our God is a god of second chances!
The second thing is that Jedi Knight was set apart as the secretary of his Deacon's Quorum. He takes this role very seriously and has been very sweet about it. While we waited for the bishop to do the setting apart, his teacher spoke about how a new convert might feel at church. The boys tried to get in the head of a convert, only to defer to their teacher, who joined the church around the same time that my above-mentioned friend did. He spoke about coming to play basketball at his wife's (a member) suggestion, and now here he was! Sealed to his wife and children . . . and teaching Jedi Knight's class. He took part in the setting apart--a man as hard as can be until not too many years ago. His joy in the gospel is palpable.
Three years ago was a time of powerful missionary work in our ward. We had a series of hard-working and delightful sisters followed by two of the most dynamic elders I've ever met. The sisters found and the elders taught an amazing family of Native American heritage. Three years ago (2010) this family joined us for one of the happiest Christmas Eves we've ever spent. They were all (everyone over 8) baptized in January of 2011. Plantboy ordained the husband to the Melchezidek Priesthood a year later. They embraced and wept. Eternal friends. Within a few months, the demands of a heavy sports schedule and their strong ties to their native community and fear that their culture was incompatible with the gospel, led them into inactivity. Contact was spotty, at their request, though Plantboy did not give up: frequently taking the husband to lunch and dropping by. They moved in the summer to be closer to the reservation. Two days ago I got a message from the mother. They have returned to full activity and she wanted to thank our family for our friendship and always believing in them. I can tell you . . . my joy is very full. Her news might just be the best Christmas gift I've ever had.
Okay, second best. Padawan is a December baby.
The last miracle of all is something that has been coming on all year, but was forcefully brought out to me this month when book group was at my house and in very full sacrament meetings all month. For a long time it seemed that our ward didn't grow. Just as many families moved out as moved in. Good families, but just some turn over, especially among younger families. There has long been a tired, worn-out feeling among those who serve here because the responsibilities are many, with many members moving from one demanding calling to the next without reprieve. And then, in about April, just after my friend's family cut ties with the Church, families began moving into our ward. A lot of families. Young, enthusiastic families with a talent for living the gospel well and reaching out to others. Two years ago, when I was in the primary presidency, we lamented our shrinking set of juniors and the tricky logistics of a single sunbeam. Next year? We will probably need TWO sunbeam classes to accommodate the hoard of precious little ones moving up in the world. There is a renewed commitment in our ward and the rejuvenation is electric.
I probably will still do my end of year book post, though it is rather weak this year, but this recognition of the many miracles I have seen this year has been the most precious gift to me in this week of Christmas. My faith is renewed and the reality of God's love has cut through so much static as clear as perfectly tuned radio. I must remember the spirit I have felt this week reminding me that these are Mormon Stories too, and the story of Mormonism is not yet fully written either. My goal for 2014 is to recognize the everyday miracles--to see them for what they are and not fall into over-analysis or cynicism as I view them.
Friday, December 06, 2013
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
A Unique Opportunity
Jedi Knight's middle school band has, for some years, carried on a tradition of performing each December at one of the northwest's coolest performing arts centers. It is right downtown and Plantboy and I have seen some wonderful performances there...big names like Yo Yo Ma and Jerry Seinfeld, as well as shows like Wicked and Riverdance. It is an awesome opportunity for these kids, and paid for with a combination of grants, community support and ticket sales. We are the only middle school in the region who gets the chance to do this.
The four bands at his school maintain a long tradition of excellence. The jazz band band, especially, is quit remarkable and as I heard the various soloists last night I had to keep reminding myself that they were only eight graders. The choirs were a bit more painful. With them I had to keep reminding myself that they were only kids and it was cool for the weaker performers to be there as well as the good ones.
It was rather long but we dragged all the minions...er...kids to it and one out of two did admirably. As for the Youngling? Maybe a sitter next year!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
More Mommy than Science Teacher
Last Thursday, Jedi Knight and Plantboy went on a school field trip to watch the salmon spawn. They enjoyed their trip so much (and the sun finally came out) that on Saturday we did a repeat with the family. We got to hike a little, and Plantboy gave me an early Christmas present in the form of a very cool coat I've had my eye on for some months.
They really do die after they spawn. I've heard this so many times before, but until I saw the stream littered with their half decomposing carcasses I just didn't really believe it, you know. My mind for all things evolution was spinning like crazy during our trip.
I had two distinct impression in this regard on Saturday. The first is that it is a cruel thing that makes these fish starve and fight their way upstream for months in their old age, only to pass on what they can to the next generation and die. It is easier for me to put my faith in an evolutionary system than to believe that my benevolent Father in Heaven designed a system so cruel. My second impression was a bit more sacrilege. It was that when the God of the Universe observed the way the salmon were evolving He said something like, "Well, how odd. Let's just see where these tenacious creatures will go with this."
It is hard to get pictures of them in the water, but much of what they do is just tread against the current and try not to get pushed back. Every several minutes, in a herculean effort of will and muscle and drive, they will jump and splash and push through very shallow water, sometimes gaining as much as ten or twenty feet of river. Only to rest and rest and tread water and try not to get pushed back. No doubt there is a metaphor there for human life too.
Here we are hiking and enjoying the sunshine. Don't let that bright ray fool you . . . it probably wasn't even forty degrees! We also passed areas where the sun hadn't hit in a few days and the ground underfoot was white and crunchy and covered with a thousand leaves that will be food for the forest next spring. There are supposed to be some old growth forests near where we were, but I think we went the wrong direction. In the spring we hope to go back and find the really big trees with the rhododendrons and ferns in the understory.
I had two distinct impression in this regard on Saturday. The first is that it is a cruel thing that makes these fish starve and fight their way upstream for months in their old age, only to pass on what they can to the next generation and die. It is easier for me to put my faith in an evolutionary system than to believe that my benevolent Father in Heaven designed a system so cruel. My second impression was a bit more sacrilege. It was that when the God of the Universe observed the way the salmon were evolving He said something like, "Well, how odd. Let's just see where these tenacious creatures will go with this."
It is hard to get pictures of them in the water, but much of what they do is just tread against the current and try not to get pushed back. Every several minutes, in a herculean effort of will and muscle and drive, they will jump and splash and push through very shallow water, sometimes gaining as much as ten or twenty feet of river. Only to rest and rest and tread water and try not to get pushed back. No doubt there is a metaphor there for human life too.
These next shots are of a very large female surrounded by 3-4 males. Every few minutes, we would see her white underbelly as she flipped and struggled to dig her nest. Near her, the males kept fighting each other (and the current) in order to prove that they were the fish for the job at hand. 
Here we are hiking and enjoying the sunshine. Don't let that bright ray fool you . . . it probably wasn't even forty degrees! We also passed areas where the sun hadn't hit in a few days and the ground underfoot was white and crunchy and covered with a thousand leaves that will be food for the forest next spring. There are supposed to be some old growth forests near where we were, but I think we went the wrong direction. In the spring we hope to go back and find the really big trees with the rhododendrons and ferns in the understory.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Running Behind
These pictures are from Veteran's Day. Our weather has been pretty bad this month. October was beautiful and then the rain settled in for about three weeks starting on Halloween. Thursday this week it finally cleared up . . . but hasn't really been about 40 degrees since and nights are freezing! Yes, yes, I'm sure the weather where you are is worse (unless it is Southern California or Houston where you still have 90% humidity), but this has been an unusually bad spell for us. Usually the fall is long and slow, drifting lazily into winter-like conditions. Our rainy season is usually in the spring.
Still we have tried to find ways to keep each other from going crazy. The little boys' after school club is good to send them out unless it is just pouring, so they get quite a lot of physical activity still. Jedi Knight has karate a couple of afternoons each week. Still, opportunities like the one below are great because we get to be together and outside. My middle boy was working on a little nature journal for school; they were supposed to find animals in your urban area. Because we have a lot of green space in our city, this is actually not that difficult. Padawan is also working on an animal report and chose the Blue Heron. So we went to find some.
Still we have tried to find ways to keep each other from going crazy. The little boys' after school club is good to send them out unless it is just pouring, so they get quite a lot of physical activity still. Jedi Knight has karate a couple of afternoons each week. Still, opportunities like the one below are great because we get to be together and outside. My middle boy was working on a little nature journal for school; they were supposed to find animals in your urban area. Because we have a lot of green space in our city, this is actually not that difficult. Padawan is also working on an animal report and chose the Blue Heron. So we went to find some.
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