Before I talk about Girls' Camp this year, I would like to point out that the new Bourne movie had the same affect on me as other movies mentioned in my last post. I have thoroughly enjoyed this series (even the Jeremy Renner installment) and felt like the original three Damon movies were a very apt, and complete, trilogy. The Jeremy Renner movie is a great stand-alone. Enter this movie. Bourne is without purpose, fighting as a mercenary for money. He is torn between being a true patriot and being a man without a country. He has no closure and is still filled with horrific nightmares. Two blood-soaked hours later (the fighting is just brutal), he is still in exactly the same place. That being said . . . it is Matt Damon. He is that rare actor who has the ability to make something of nothing--like a really good-looking Tom Hanks.
But enough about that. Two weeks ago I finished my second week-long stint at Girls' Camp. Part of my thoughts here come from a mini-talk I gave the Sunday after.
My scripture study for the week had me in the book of Mosiah. I have been reading the Book of Mormon very slowly this year because I have a newish set of scriptures and lots of lovely white pages and blank margins for new thoughts. I think Mosiah, and the first half of Alma, are my favorite parts of the Book of Mormon. There is much to be gleaned about society, personal conversion, service, community and trials in this portion. Every chapter seems to offer deep and applicable truths. Anyway, I was reading about the people of Zeniff and their troubles stemming from an extremely tyrannical leader (Noah) and the fall out for years after his death.
In this section, there are two different groups of people that come under hardship because of oppression from a government that, in the beginning, they had willingly pledged themselves to live under. But because they are outsiders--different culturally and religiously--they become extremely persecuted. Additionally, one of the groups has false charges laid to them of serious wrongdoing. The upshot is, that largely through no fault of their own, the people are living under a lot of stress. They pray for deliverance that is not forthcoming.
However, in both instances, it causes the people to have great humility before God as they pray for their enemies' hearts to be softened. Additionally, the scriptures tell us that God didn't deliver them right away, but instead made their backs strong so they could bear their burdens.
I think it is easy to discount teenage girls' problems as "drama." And while, yes, teenage girls do create plenty of drama, my experience at camp this time around was that many of them experience trials that are deadly serious, for which there is no immediate or easy resolution. This time at girls' camp, I really tried to hear their stories.
I met a girl who anxiously awaits her father's release from prison next year--her family has tenaciously stood by him and attested to his innocence in his white-collar crime from the beginning. It was an LDS prosecutor who relentlessly assassinated his character during the trial and is responsible for putting him in prison.
I met a girl who is one of five siblings (some half/some full) who were adopted by members of her family when her mother was in danger of losing all of them to foster care. Her parents are also her aunt and uncle. One girl, who is more like a cousin, is biologically her sister and legally her aunt.
I met a young woman who has spent most of her childhood homeless and was shown by our camp nurse how to use the shower and wash her hair. One girl in her unit was complaining relentlessly about how much she disliked camp; this sweet girl replied, "I like it here." It may be the first week in her life when she got to act like a kid . . . and know where her three meals a day were coming from.
I met a girl whose mom suffers from depression--which suffering really translates to this girl trying to act as mom to the boys in her family.
I met a girl whose mom just got a clean cancer diagnosis after months of being told that she only had weeks to live.
I met a girl whose life was deeply changed by a stillborn brother, and whose mom is pregnant with a due date very near the due date of the previous baby.
I met lots of girls seeking for testimony they aren't sure they have.
It occurred to me that Girls' Camp is a fun place for these sweet (and sometimes bitter/salty/sour) young women to put all those burdens on hold for a few days. And while camp cannot take their burdens, it is a place for them to strengthen their backs. Our mortal experience is what it is. We are each a unique combination of biology, culture, personality and opportunity. Some of this is given by God, some of it is given to us by circumstance, some of it we choose. But I am coming to see that God will always strengthen us if we ask. He may not change our circumstances, but he teaches us to change the way we view them.
Showing posts with label Stuff I taught at church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stuff I taught at church. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Friday, May 01, 2015
Four Hundred Years of History
For the first time ever, I taught Shakespeare this year. Oh, I've read Shakespeare, both in and out of classes. (Yes, that's right, I've read Shakespeare just FOR FUN, what about it?) But teaching it was a new thing entirely. I couldn't just read it, I had to be prepared to explain it, and, gulp make it INTERESTING.
Believe it or not, some people, actually lots of people, don't find literature just inherently wonderful or read just for reading's sake. They have to be encouraged. Enter the English teacher.
I think the others in my department didn't quite know what to make of me this year. I would sit in our preliminary meetings discussing literature and lesson plans and ideas with them, while all the time they are thinking I'm a science teacher. And some days, when the English classes are really going great, I think, "I can't believe I'm paid to do this!"
But toward Hamlet I didn't feel quite so confident . . . Shakespeare is the holy grail of English teaching, and Hamlet is the holy grail of Shakespeare. I didn't want to do what Mrs. Forsberg did to Romeo and Juliet when I was in the ninth grade (can you say butchered?); I wanted to bring all the subtlety and complexity and beauty to it that Mrs. Reed did with Othello. I read and studied and forced my husband to watch varying versions on Friday nights for movie night. I agonized.
For four-hundred years these plays have been taught because they are just so good. So many other plots are based on Shakespeare stories; indeed, there are few original stories left. Shakespeare is foundational to our culture and to refining your language and understanding. We celebrate this man because he was, truly, a genius. Oh, how I agonized.
And then I got some good advice.
That I actually listened to.
A wise English teacher (I hesitate to say "old" as she might be younger than I am) shrugged at my dilemma and said, "Don't get caught up in the symbolism and the imagery and the making it GREAT LITERATURE, just let the kids play with it. It is a performance piece, after all. Just engage them in the greatest revenge story of all time with a protagonist that is just an emo teenager." Prince Hamlet is actually 30, but like, whatever, he seems more like an angsty 17 year-old. Believe me, I know what angsty 17 looks like.
And it worked. The kids, not all of them, but by in large, they understood it and connected with it. They grumbled at Ophelia's brother and father who thought it was their business to tell her whom to love and could see that it was their interference that set certain events in motion. They argued about whether revenge and justice were the same thing and which Hamlet was really seeking. They empathized with his actions, even as they didn't condone them. They saw that truly dark path that revenge takes you on. They discussed mental illness and suicidal thoughts and how sometimes really hard things happen in your life that make you wish you didn't have to deal with them. They laughed at Polonius' famous advice and brilliantly translated it into modern English. The played the final scene for laughs, even as they recognized the waste and irony of it all.
It wasn't glorious. But it worked . . . and they connected in some small measure as so many English students have before. And, I hope, as they will for generations to come.
Science fascinates me because it explains the how of life. But literature . . . literature gets us closer to the why.
Believe it or not, some people, actually lots of people, don't find literature just inherently wonderful or read just for reading's sake. They have to be encouraged. Enter the English teacher.
I think the others in my department didn't quite know what to make of me this year. I would sit in our preliminary meetings discussing literature and lesson plans and ideas with them, while all the time they are thinking I'm a science teacher. And some days, when the English classes are really going great, I think, "I can't believe I'm paid to do this!"
But toward Hamlet I didn't feel quite so confident . . . Shakespeare is the holy grail of English teaching, and Hamlet is the holy grail of Shakespeare. I didn't want to do what Mrs. Forsberg did to Romeo and Juliet when I was in the ninth grade (can you say butchered?); I wanted to bring all the subtlety and complexity and beauty to it that Mrs. Reed did with Othello. I read and studied and forced my husband to watch varying versions on Friday nights for movie night. I agonized.
For four-hundred years these plays have been taught because they are just so good. So many other plots are based on Shakespeare stories; indeed, there are few original stories left. Shakespeare is foundational to our culture and to refining your language and understanding. We celebrate this man because he was, truly, a genius. Oh, how I agonized.
And then I got some good advice.
That I actually listened to.
A wise English teacher (I hesitate to say "old" as she might be younger than I am) shrugged at my dilemma and said, "Don't get caught up in the symbolism and the imagery and the making it GREAT LITERATURE, just let the kids play with it. It is a performance piece, after all. Just engage them in the greatest revenge story of all time with a protagonist that is just an emo teenager." Prince Hamlet is actually 30, but like, whatever, he seems more like an angsty 17 year-old. Believe me, I know what angsty 17 looks like.
And it worked. The kids, not all of them, but by in large, they understood it and connected with it. They grumbled at Ophelia's brother and father who thought it was their business to tell her whom to love and could see that it was their interference that set certain events in motion. They argued about whether revenge and justice were the same thing and which Hamlet was really seeking. They empathized with his actions, even as they didn't condone them. They saw that truly dark path that revenge takes you on. They discussed mental illness and suicidal thoughts and how sometimes really hard things happen in your life that make you wish you didn't have to deal with them. They laughed at Polonius' famous advice and brilliantly translated it into modern English. The played the final scene for laughs, even as they recognized the waste and irony of it all.
It wasn't glorious. But it worked . . . and they connected in some small measure as so many English students have before. And, I hope, as they will for generations to come.
Science fascinates me because it explains the how of life. But literature . . . literature gets us closer to the why.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Remembering
My mother sent me a letter on my mission in which she wrote, "You have the ability to glean a lot of wisdom from everyday experiences." I've often believed this to be one of the greatest compliments I've ever been paid, and a fortunate byproduct of my unfortunate tendency to overthink everything. In my mission journal and my letters home, my hands would ache and time would run out long before I was finished telling what I had observed, and how it had changed me.
This month in youth Sunday School, the kids are talking about ordinances and covenants. The lesson outlines aren't as clearly delineated from one another as they seemed to be last month, and there is a lot of redundancy built in. The result is that I've read many conference talks this month on the sacrament. The recurring theme I have noticed over and over is the idea of "remembering." I was pondering this word a lot on Sunday. During my lesson, the Spirit was very strong, and the kids were really getting it. I don't know that they were a lot more forthcoming than usual, but there was a definite difference. They were more attentive, brows were more furrowed, and there were even a few glistening eyes. Then, boom, without it being according to plan, there was an account from my mission I felt impressed to share. It was a little thing really, seemingly unimportant, but somehow it was exactly the right thing at the right moment. It was a thing that hadn't been part of my preparation or even conscious thought for some years.
But it was a thing that helped my precious young class to see that their gospel preparation and knowledge is serious . . . and those years between baptism and the temple are vital. The moment was sublime and reminded me of every good reason we come to Church. I felt humbled and grateful that the Lord had put me in a place where I might make a difference.
And I understood something I've never quite seen before.
Though it doesn't appear on any list, remembering, in its many and varied form, is itself a gift of the Spirit. Remembrance takes so many forms and meanings, each of them vital to gospel living.
Remembering past blessings makes us grateful and humble.
Remembering is how we keep our covenants as we take the sacrament.
Remembering the Savior gives us the integrity to keep our covenants when we are away from Church.
Remembering our own weaknesses can keep us from judging others.
Remembering our ancestors helps us honor our religion and our liberty.
Remembering preserves our spiritual and familial traditions.
My simple, unheralded event from my mission, came back to my memory in the very moment that my class needed to hear the words. If this is not the Spirit working, then I don't know what is. When I teach my class this week, I am going to ask them to pray with all the energy of their hearts that the Spirit will bless them with remembrance, so that it will be a shield and a protection to them against a world where everything changes and drifts into decay.
In the words of Teryl Givens:
That almost sounds like poetry to me.
This month in youth Sunday School, the kids are talking about ordinances and covenants. The lesson outlines aren't as clearly delineated from one another as they seemed to be last month, and there is a lot of redundancy built in. The result is that I've read many conference talks this month on the sacrament. The recurring theme I have noticed over and over is the idea of "remembering." I was pondering this word a lot on Sunday. During my lesson, the Spirit was very strong, and the kids were really getting it. I don't know that they were a lot more forthcoming than usual, but there was a definite difference. They were more attentive, brows were more furrowed, and there were even a few glistening eyes. Then, boom, without it being according to plan, there was an account from my mission I felt impressed to share. It was a little thing really, seemingly unimportant, but somehow it was exactly the right thing at the right moment. It was a thing that hadn't been part of my preparation or even conscious thought for some years.
But it was a thing that helped my precious young class to see that their gospel preparation and knowledge is serious . . . and those years between baptism and the temple are vital. The moment was sublime and reminded me of every good reason we come to Church. I felt humbled and grateful that the Lord had put me in a place where I might make a difference.
And I understood something I've never quite seen before.
Though it doesn't appear on any list, remembering, in its many and varied form, is itself a gift of the Spirit. Remembrance takes so many forms and meanings, each of them vital to gospel living.
Remembering past blessings makes us grateful and humble.
Remembering is how we keep our covenants as we take the sacrament.
Remembering the Savior gives us the integrity to keep our covenants when we are away from Church.
Remembering our own weaknesses can keep us from judging others.
Remembering our ancestors helps us honor our religion and our liberty.
Remembering preserves our spiritual and familial traditions.
My simple, unheralded event from my mission, came back to my memory in the very moment that my class needed to hear the words. If this is not the Spirit working, then I don't know what is. When I teach my class this week, I am going to ask them to pray with all the energy of their hearts that the Spirit will bless them with remembrance, so that it will be a shield and a protection to them against a world where everything changes and drifts into decay.
In the words of Teryl Givens:
"I believe remembering can be the highest form of devotion. To remember is to rescue the sacred from the vacuum of oblivion. To remember Christ’s sacrifice every Sunday at the sacrament table, is to say “no” to the ravages of time; to refuse to allow his supernal sacrifice to be just another datum in the catalogue of what is past. To remember past blessings is to give continuing recognition of the gift, and re-confirm the relationship to the Giver as one that persists in the here and now. Few-very few-are entirely bereft of at least one solace giving-memory. A childhood prayer answered, a testimony borne long ago, a fleeting moment of perfect peace. And for those few who despairingly insist they have never heard so much as a whisper, then know this: We don’t need to look for a burning bush, when all we need is to be still and remember that we have known the goodness of love, the rightness of virtue, the nobility of kindness and faithfulness. And ask if we see in such beauties the random effects of Darwinian products, or can we not perceive in them the handwriting of God on our hearts?"
That almost sounds like poetry to me.
Friday, September 04, 2009
Darn that Caller ID
We no longer have a landline. This doesn't make me hip or cool or young. It just makes me cheap. Mostly I like having just a cell phone, but it only identifies callers if they are already programmed into my phone. This is not an issue really: I only screen calls at meal time, after 8:00, when I'm watching a show I really like on TV, when I'm resolving an issue with the kids, doing housework, if I'm talking to someone on the other line, at the store, in the car, when my hands are full, or if I'm just not in the mood to talk. So, yeah, hardly ever.
Two Sundays ago, the phone rang while Plantboy was at meetings and I was in the throes of getting the Jedi off to church. Sunday morning phone calls are generally of two varieties: a missed newspaper customer or my mother. It was not my mother, and not recognizing the number I nearly changed my mind, figuring it was a disgruntled paper (non) recipient. I answered, trying to keep the note of world-weariness out of my voice.
It was not a paper customer.
It was a member of the Stake Presidency. I was surprised to learn that he actually knew me, though I've noticed in this stake that the members of the SP come out fairly regularly to visit the wards. You know how this goes--when anybody from the stake calls you immediately begin the following in your head: What-can-he-be-calling-about-we-just-got-new-callings-please-don't-be-taking-my-husband-away-for-more-hours. But he did not want to meet with me or Plantboy. Instead, he asked if I would speak at the adult session of Stake Conference next week.
I think people say yes to this sort of thing because it comes as such a shock. With some time and reflection, you might be able to give a definitive yes, or at least come up with an excellent excuse. My answer sounded more like a question, "Yes?"
Now for the reason I'm blogging about this rather ordinary event. The topic has me slightly out of sorts. He said that a few people had been asked to take 10 minutes each to share a favorite scripture--one that had influenced our life somehow. He then said the scripture should be centered on Christ and the atonement as much as possible. Seems more like seminary devotional material than adult-session stake conference doctrine.
I wasn't off the phone ten minutes when ideas began flooding 1 Nephi 3 or 8 . . . or 17 ; the last three or four chapters of 2nd Nephi, the first or last few chapters of Mosiah, and Alma! Where to even begin in Alma? 5, 17-26, 32 . . . I quickly realized my thoughts were only in the very first half of the Book of Mormon and there were so many other great ones! Half of the third Nephi, verse 11 of 4th Nephi would make a fantastic talk, not to mention most of Mormon, Ether or Moroni. There are several incredible and influential scriptures in the Doctrine and Covenants too. In Sunday School this summer I think we spent an entire month on just half of section 121. And while not a lot from the Old Testament stood out (Abraham's sacrifice and obedience/Esther's sense of destiny being notable exceptions), there are parts of the New Testament I just love. John 8. Acts 1-10 . . . . excerpts from all the epistles. The entire book of James.
Okay, you definitely get the picture. No doubt with just a minute's reflection you could come up with a similar list. It has really hit me that I don't think I have a favorite scripture. I have passages, stories, chapters that I really love. But a favorite? It's like picking a favorite kid. It just depends on the day, or even the moment.
Now, after some better focused reflection, I'm getting the start of an idea. But as I've been writing the talk, the tendency to sermonize and not just travelogue keeps creeping in. Does that make sense? I don't just want to tell a story; I want to teach a principle. But maybe the assignment just calls for the first? I'm not sure.
So what is YOUR favorite scripture? Either ever or at this moment, I'm not picky, but please give us a reason that you love it. I'm also not going to steal one of yours. I lamented some weeks back about how all of this social networking with a group of such remarkable, like-minded women, kept me from getting on my knees and taking my problems to the Lord. It is not my intention here to do so. Maybe it is that for about fifty un-named reasons this has been a Jonah-week* and I'm in need of some serious uplift. Help me out here, girls.
*Bragging rights to whomever can place the Jonah-week reference!
Two Sundays ago, the phone rang while Plantboy was at meetings and I was in the throes of getting the Jedi off to church. Sunday morning phone calls are generally of two varieties: a missed newspaper customer or my mother. It was not my mother, and not recognizing the number I nearly changed my mind, figuring it was a disgruntled paper (non) recipient. I answered, trying to keep the note of world-weariness out of my voice.
It was not a paper customer.
It was a member of the Stake Presidency. I was surprised to learn that he actually knew me, though I've noticed in this stake that the members of the SP come out fairly regularly to visit the wards. You know how this goes--when anybody from the stake calls you immediately begin the following in your head: What-can-he-be-calling-about-we-just-got-new-callings-please-don't-be-taking-my-husband-away-for-more-hours. But he did not want to meet with me or Plantboy. Instead, he asked if I would speak at the adult session of Stake Conference next week.
I think people say yes to this sort of thing because it comes as such a shock. With some time and reflection, you might be able to give a definitive yes, or at least come up with an excellent excuse. My answer sounded more like a question, "Yes?"
Now for the reason I'm blogging about this rather ordinary event. The topic has me slightly out of sorts. He said that a few people had been asked to take 10 minutes each to share a favorite scripture--one that had influenced our life somehow. He then said the scripture should be centered on Christ and the atonement as much as possible. Seems more like seminary devotional material than adult-session stake conference doctrine.
I wasn't off the phone ten minutes when ideas began flooding 1 Nephi 3 or 8 . . . or 17 ; the last three or four chapters of 2nd Nephi, the first or last few chapters of Mosiah, and Alma! Where to even begin in Alma? 5, 17-26, 32 . . . I quickly realized my thoughts were only in the very first half of the Book of Mormon and there were so many other great ones! Half of the third Nephi, verse 11 of 4th Nephi would make a fantastic talk, not to mention most of Mormon, Ether or Moroni. There are several incredible and influential scriptures in the Doctrine and Covenants too. In Sunday School this summer I think we spent an entire month on just half of section 121. And while not a lot from the Old Testament stood out (Abraham's sacrifice and obedience/Esther's sense of destiny being notable exceptions), there are parts of the New Testament I just love. John 8. Acts 1-10 . . . . excerpts from all the epistles. The entire book of James.
Okay, you definitely get the picture. No doubt with just a minute's reflection you could come up with a similar list. It has really hit me that I don't think I have a favorite scripture. I have passages, stories, chapters that I really love. But a favorite? It's like picking a favorite kid. It just depends on the day, or even the moment.
Now, after some better focused reflection, I'm getting the start of an idea. But as I've been writing the talk, the tendency to sermonize and not just travelogue keeps creeping in. Does that make sense? I don't just want to tell a story; I want to teach a principle. But maybe the assignment just calls for the first? I'm not sure.
So what is YOUR favorite scripture? Either ever or at this moment, I'm not picky, but please give us a reason that you love it. I'm also not going to steal one of yours. I lamented some weeks back about how all of this social networking with a group of such remarkable, like-minded women, kept me from getting on my knees and taking my problems to the Lord. It is not my intention here to do so. Maybe it is that for about fifty un-named reasons this has been a Jonah-week* and I'm in need of some serious uplift. Help me out here, girls.
*Bragging rights to whomever can place the Jonah-week reference!
Monday, September 01, 2008
Talk From Sunday
In case you are thinking this is getting repetitive, I did do a fireside last November and speak in Sacrament meeting less than a year ago. There is a new counselor in the bishopbric over talks and I am thinking that he lost the original list or something. At least I gave a new talk. That is more than I can say for . . . well, I won't go there. Because it was a REALLY great talk: who cares if he gave it twice?
I am not sure how well this will load because of the footnotes (I know that seems a little, well, over the top, but somebody wanted a copy so I was more careful than normal). It is also quite lengthy; I'm too lazy on our last day of summer vacation to edit. What I WOULD like to know, however is if anybody knows where I can get some extremely cheap and user friendly web hosting for PDF pages? I am thinking of publishing some of my stuff on-line, linking it through here and removing all personal identification from my manuscripts, but the blogger format is all wrong. I want to link PDF protected pages from my home page. Anyway, if you have any advice, skip the talk, and make a comment to give it to me.
Preparedness
When we were given the topic of “preparedness” today, I immediately thought about food storage and panicked. Once my mind began seeing past hundreds of quarts of canned peaches that I don’t have, however, there was a story that came very clearly to me that I wanted to share. It was not immediately apparent why I should, but as I’ve pondered and prayed, I understand why the Lord would have me share this very personal experience.
During my freshman year of college, there were a series of difficult trials that happened to several friends and family members. Although none of these trials happened to me directly, each circumstance greatly affected my outlook. I had been raised in the church, but it wasn’t until I was faced with such life-altering trials that I really began to seek and find my testimony. And then, during finals week of my freshman year, President Benson died. Within days of the funeral, President Howard W. Hunter was sustained prophet and held a press conference.
Wasting no time in declaring his prophetic vision for the church, this soft-spoken and gentle man said that he had two directives for Church members. The first was to look to the Savior as the supreme example in our lives, doing in all things what he would do. He then said,
“Secondly, and in that same spirit, I also invite the members of the Church to establish the temple of the Lord as the great symbol of their membership and the supernal setting for their most sacred covenants. It would be the deepest desire of my heart to have every member of the Church be temple worthy. I would hope that every adult member would be worthy of—and carry—a current temple recommend, even if proximity to a temple does not allow immediate or frequent use of it.
“Let us be a temple-attending and a temple-loving people. Let us hasten to the temple as frequently as time and means and personal circumstances allow. Let us go not only for our kindred dead, but let us also go for the personal blessing of temple worship, for the sanctity and safety which is provided within those hallowed and consecrated walls. The temple is a place of beauty, it is a place of revelation, it is a place of peace. It is the house of the Lord. It is holy unto the Lord. It should be holy unto us.”[1]
Perhaps I had matured, or because of my new-found testimony, it was the first time I remembered really standing up and taking note of what the prophet said. I replayed those words of the temple as “the great symbol of our membership.” That resonated with me, even though I had very little understanding of what he meant.
In October of that year, his first presidency message in the Ensign reiterated the charge[2]. Just a week after the issue came out, he spoke in conference. He again shared a similar message, encouraging us to display pictures of the temple in our homes. He also mentions the upcoming dedication of the Bountiful Temple and said, “My brothers and sisters, I testify that the impressions of the Spirit have weighed heavily upon me in considering these matters.”[3]
It turned out that nearly a million people toured the Bountiful Temple in November and December of 1994[4]. My parents had tickets for a tour on a November evening. The temple was nearly two hours away from where I attended college at Utah State University in Logan, but I decided to attend with my parents anyway. Snow was forecast for that day, but without too much worry I set off. The temple was lovely and the rooms were incredible. I remember especially the bride’s room. However, it was also very crowded, and there was no explanation provided for the purpose of the various rooms. Between the crowds and my confusion, my experience was not exactly what I had hoped for. I was not sorry I had gone, certainly, but I had not felt the spirit the way I expected. When we were done touring the temple, I went with my parents back to my home in Ogden, where they encouraged me to stay for the night. I had early classes, however, and decided to be on my way.
All started well on my journey back to my apartment, but about five minutes after entering Sardine Canyon, the snow began in earnest. Besides the snow rushing at my windshield like the Millennium Falcon rushing into hyperspace, it was very foggy. I slowed down to a crawl, not able to see more than a few feet in front of me, my headlights actually exacerbating the effects of snow and fog. I have driven that canyon literally hundreds of times in my life and I can only remember a handful of instances when conditions were that bad. I knew I was in serious trouble if I went off the road. The only shoes I had with me were the dress shoes I was wearing; my only coat, a thin dress coat. I didn’t have food or water in the car. I didn’t have a phone to call for help. I didn’t have a shovel in case digging myself out became necessary. I went at a snail’s pace for nearly ten miles. With relief, I could tell from the lay of the road that I was nearing the end of the canyon.
Whenever I drive into Cache Valley, particularly at night, the first thing I look for in the distance is the temple. It is built on a bluff just in front of the mouth of another canyon through the mountains to the east. As you enter the valley from the south, the temple stands out brightly, with its white spires illuminated bluish white every night. Though it is nearly pushed up against the east mountains, you get the impression that it actually stands on a large hill right in the center of the valley. The pioneers chose their site for the temple very well.
But that night, as I exited the canyon with 10 miles to go to my apartment just blocks from the temple, I still couldn’t see a thing. The snow had let up, but the fog was as bad as ever. My habit for getting to my apartment was to go up around the temple, even though the route took a few extra minutes, because it was a pretty drive. Despite the terrible visibility and little hope of seeing anything, I kept to my routine and drove up around the temple. I nearly ran off the road as I rounded the curve.
As if someone had turned on a switch, the temple was suddenly before me, blazingly bright and seeming to rise up out of the fog. Its parking lot was empty, covered only with a layer of fresh new snow. The quiet was intense and lovely as I pulled over carefully and just stared for several minutes, feeling the manifestation in my spirit that I had not felt inside the cozy and warm temple from the hours previous. I knew with all my heart that I wanted to be inside that sacred building, that I wanted to understand what President Hunter meant when he said that the temple should be the symbol of our membership.
But I knew something else. I knew that I was no more prepared to be in that glorious building than I was to be driving through the canyon that night.
I’m going to relate the symbols of what I was missing from my car that day to things I was also missing from my life. As I do, please carefully consider the things in your own life that may need putting in order so that we might each claim the blessings that our Father in Heaven is standing ready to give us.
1) Boots. If something had gone wrong and I had to get out of my car, I would have been wet to my nyloned knees in the ridiculous shoes I was wearing.
Just as my shoes would have allowed me to do little more than mince and slip in the snow, the faith I was exercising at that time in my life was weak and tentative. In 1997, the sesquicentennial of the pioneer’s arrival in Utah, President Hinckley narrated a remarkable documentary, shown in conference, titled Faith in Every Footstep[5]. There was a lovely hymn of the same title composed that same year to honor the anniversary[6]. In the documentary, President Hinckley and his counselors spoke with fervor and testimony about the faith of our early pioneer ancestors. They were a people who understood that faith was not just about believing, but that true faith inspires you to act, time and time again, even against overwhelming odds and challenges.
My own faith was not like this. I had not learned to trust the Lord. Despite many wonderful and subtle spiritual experiences through my teenage years, I asked time and time again for a manifestation about the truthfulness of the gospel. I was not unlike Oliver Cowdery. Even with experience after experience, Oliver still petitioned Joseph to ask the Lord to send him another witness. The Lord’s reply to Oliver’s question is loving, but there is a distinct rebuke also.
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might aknow concerning the truth of these things. Did I not speak apeace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater bwitness can you have than from God?[7]”
I needed to trust the many witnesses I had received from God and move forward; taking my turn to serve others and live the religion I knew to be true. Now, true faith was the first piece of preparation, but not the only one. From the scripture just shared, we see that Oliver was admonished to greater faith by listening to and trusting the Holy Ghost. This leads me to the second thing that would have been useful.
2) I needed something to keep me warm.
This symbol should be a little more obvious. The Savior himself said just hours before his atonement, “But the aComforter, which is the bHoly Ghost, whom the Father will send in my cname, he shall dteach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.[8]”
I love the word “comforter.” I think there is no better description of the way the Holy Ghost can help us to feel. In a world of turmoil and difficulty, indeed, there is no greater need than this marvelous feeling of comfort. In addition to providing feelings of comfort and peace, the Holy Ghost helps to guide and direct us in our decisions.
The importance of the Holy Ghost was a thing I did not understand when I was a teenager in the YW program. My leaders and seminary teachers always seemed so urgent about us gaining testimonies, and learning to recognize the Spirit. I just didn’t really see what the big deal was. It wasn’t until that first spring away from home when life’s major trials truly beset me for the first time that I understood why my leaders had tried so hard. Between the ages of 18 and 25, I made no fewer than eight major life decisions. Decisions that would have changed the whole course of my life and perhaps my eternity if they had been different. I don’t know how I would have done this without the influence of the Holy Ghost, or how I could have possibly had any confidence in my decisions without His powerful, guiding influence.
In a world where the philosophies of men are becoming increasingly confused with doctrines of God, it will be vital to listen to the Holy Ghost so that we might do what is right.
3) Though the events of that snowy night happened before it was common for college students to carry cell phones, a means of communication would have been a third highly useful thing to have.
The best means of communication that we have with the Lord is prayer. It can be done any time and anywhere. It can be done with much forethought or on a whim. Prayer can be formal in front of a congregation, or traveling in the car on the way to work. When we call on God in all sincerity, he will answer us. Alma the younger gave the following counsel to one of his sons:
“Yea, and acry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy bdoings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy cthoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
“aCounsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for bgood; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the cmorning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.[9]”
4) If the worst had happened and I had been stranded in my car for any length of time, I would have gotten hungry very quickly. You know what a humbling experience it can be to fast even a few hours. Our physical body can only survive a very short time without nourishment. Our spirits are no different.
In the last few chapters written by Nephi, he talks about the importance of reading the scriptures saying, “aAngels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, bfeast upon the cwords of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will dtell you all things what ye should do.[10]”
To bring this feasting image into more modern language, in 1988, President Benson gave a talk about one of his favorite topics, the Book of Mormon. He spoke at length about the potential he saw for the book in the hands of righteous and studied church members. My favorite part of his talk is specifically to missionaries, but his words can apply to all of us.
“We need to read daily from the pages of the [Book of Mormon] that will get a man ‘nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.’ I challenge all of us to prayerfully consider steps that we can personally take to bring this new witness for Christ more fully into our own lives and into a world that so desperately needs it. I have a vision of thousands of missionaries going into the mission field with hundreds of passages memorized from the Book of Mormon so that they might feed the needs of a spiritually famished world.[11]”
I will not ask for a raise of hands for how many of you have hundreds of passages memorized from the Book of Mormon, but it should be apparent that we have a long way to go in how carefully we are reading this most sacred book, as well as our other scriptures. It is impossible to feed others if we ourselves are spiritually famished.
5) The last useful tool to me would have been a shovel. Sometimes you just have to dig yourself out.
Regardless of how much faith a person has or how often we read the scriptures, we are all just human, and mistakes will be made. This is part of our mortal experience. However, to be prepared for partaking the Lord’s covenants whether baptism or the sacrament or the temple, we must be humble enough to continually be in a state of repentance. As I’ve learned about and studied repentance I’ve come to see that repentance is much more than being sorry for the actions you’ve committed. It is even more than attempting to make reparations for the mistakes we’ve made. And it is more than merely promising never to commit these acts again. While each of these is an important part of the process of repentance, true repentance is more akin to conversion than apologizing. It is a complete bending of our will to our Father in Heaven’s so that our hearts are changed and we have no more disposition to do evil.
A few years ago, Elder Hafen gave one of the best talks that I have ever heard on the atonement. It was titled “All for All.” He explained that Christ is willing to put all he has on the line to save us, as long as we do the same. Obviously, what He brings to the table is much greater, but he accepts our best effort as enough. He then talked about trials and sin as part of ever mortal experience. He said,
“Adam and Eve learned constantly from their often harsh experience. They knew how a troubled family feels. Think of Cain and Abel. Yet because of the Atonement, they could learn from their experience without being condemned by it. Christ’s sacrifice didn’t just erase their choices and return them to an Eden of innocence. That would be a story with no plot and no character growth. His plan is developmental—line upon line, step by step, grace for grace.
“So if you have problems in your life, don’t assume there is something wrong with you. Struggling with those problems is at the very core of life’s purpose. As we draw close to God, He will show us our weaknesses and through them make us wiser, stronger. If you’re seeing more of your weaknesses that just might mean you’re moving nearer to God, not farther away [12].”
We all have difficulties that must be worked on. It is not a punishment to correct our lives to put them more in line with our Father’s will. It is instead a great blessing. Repentance allows us to “learn from our experience without being condemned by it.”
Obviously, any of these tools: faith, the influence of the Holy Ghost, prayer, scripture study and repentance could be a topic all on its own. I use them here to merely illustrate some things that can help prepare us to enter the temple.
After the Bountiful Temple’s dedication in January of 1995, President Hunter fell very ill as cancer spread through his body. His February message in the Ensign again reiterated his urgency to get members of the church to the temple[13]. On March 3, 1995 he passed away[14], just short of nine months after being called as prophet. His prophetic tenure was brief, but his message was powerful and sank deep into the hearts of the saints worldwide.
Almost exactly a year later I went to the Logan temple to receive my own endowment in preparation to serve a mission, thinking that I had arrived at some great destination. Instead, my temple experience, even from that very first day, showed me what President Hunter meant by the temple being a symbol. The temple was not actually an end in itself; it was a preparation for entering one day into God’s presence. The temple teaches us what is necessary to return to him.
As I made covenants there and participated in ordinances, I knew I was committing myself to a lifetime of service to the Lord: the temple was a beautiful representation of all that was possible if I kept my covenants. Yet the most powerful symbol for me that day came as I joined four generations of my family in the Celestial room. I cried as the spirit filled my whole soul, truly realizing for the first time that one of the Lord’s greatest promises is that God will allow our most cherished relationships on this earth to continue into the eternities.
Fairy tales always wrap up everything nice and neat with a “happily ever after” at the end of the story. Real life, however, is not quite that neat. Our lives continue long after the highs and lows: indeed we know that our lives will continue forever and we will constantly learn and struggle and triumph along the way. Some months after my endowment, I was serving my mission in a huge country with but a single temple. President Hinckley visited that great country in 1997 to tell the people in each of the major cities he visited that they would soon have temples too. The Lord had seen the faith of his people in following the admonition to carry recommends even if they had little opportunity to go to the temple: He would bring the temples to them. The Saints wept for joy at the news and I caught the tiniest glimpse of the thousands upon thousands of Saints who had taken President Hunter’s words to heart.
Each day is a preparation for eternity. I pray that each of us will look carefully at our lives and prune away what is unnecessary and spend our time instead focused on what the Lord tells us matters the most.
I know that as we prepare to one day enter the Lord’s presence there is no better voice to follow than the prophet. I have a testimony that President Monson is a prophet today, and that the keys have been handed down, unbroken since Joseph Smith was given them more than a century and a half ago. I know the Book of Mormon is God’s work: another testament that Jesus is indeed the Christ and that he is the head of this Church. I saw these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
[1] Jay M. Todd, “President Howard W. Hunter: Fourteenth President of the Church,” Ensign, Jul 1994, 2
[2] Howard W. Hunter, “The Great Symbol of Our Membership,” Ensign, Oct 1994, 2
[3] Howard W. Hunter, “‘Exceeding Great and Precious Promises’,” Ensign, Nov 1994, 7
[4] ”Bountiful Utah Temple Dedicated,” Ensign, Mar. 1995, 74–75
[5] “Faith in Every Footstep: The Epic Pioneer Journey,” Ensign, May 1997, 62
[6] K. Newell Dayley, “Faith in Every Footstep,” Liahona, Feb 1997, 22–23
[7] D & C 6:22-23
[8] John 14:26; note that Jesus refers to the idea of “comfort” two other times in this chapter—once in reference to the Holy Ghost (though some readings of this passage suggest that his reference to “another” comforter is in actuality a personal visitation from the Savior indicating your calling and election made sure) and the second time to his pledge not to leave the apostles “comfortless.” It is not exactly clear why, but it seems that the apostles were unable to have the full influence of the Holy Ghost while they had the Savior with them.
[9] Alma 37:36-37
[10] 2 Nephi 32:3; see also 2 Nephi 9:51 and 31:20 for more references to feasting and the scriptures written by Nephi. It should be remembered that Nephi had seen a vision of the end of the world. He knew, perhaps better than any writer in the Book of Mormon, that this record would be preserved for a people far removed from his own. He had a wonderful perspective on the importance of these scriptures, their coming forth, and what their restoration would mean for the history of mankind. In 2 Nephi 29 he talks at length about the necessity of a second witness and each time having its own scriptures. The incredible writing in that chapter shows his frustration with those who would one day reject the words he had spent his lifetime writing and protecting.
[11] Ezra Taft Benson, “Flooding the Earth with the Book of Mormon,” Ensign, Nov 1988, 4; the embedded reference is from the History of the Church 4:461 as well as the Book of Mormon’s introduction page.
[12] Bruce C. Hafen, “The Atonement: All for All,” Ensign, May 2004, 97. The embedded reference about weakness making us stronger is to Ether 12:27
[13] Howard W. Hunter, “A Temple-Motivated People,” Ensign, Feb 1995, 2
[14] “President Howard W. Hunter: The Lord’s ‘Good and Faithful Servant’,” Ensign, Apr 1995, 8
I am not sure how well this will load because of the footnotes (I know that seems a little, well, over the top, but somebody wanted a copy so I was more careful than normal). It is also quite lengthy; I'm too lazy on our last day of summer vacation to edit. What I WOULD like to know, however is if anybody knows where I can get some extremely cheap and user friendly web hosting for PDF pages? I am thinking of publishing some of my stuff on-line, linking it through here and removing all personal identification from my manuscripts, but the blogger format is all wrong. I want to link PDF protected pages from my home page. Anyway, if you have any advice, skip the talk, and make a comment to give it to me.
Preparedness
When we were given the topic of “preparedness” today, I immediately thought about food storage and panicked. Once my mind began seeing past hundreds of quarts of canned peaches that I don’t have, however, there was a story that came very clearly to me that I wanted to share. It was not immediately apparent why I should, but as I’ve pondered and prayed, I understand why the Lord would have me share this very personal experience.
During my freshman year of college, there were a series of difficult trials that happened to several friends and family members. Although none of these trials happened to me directly, each circumstance greatly affected my outlook. I had been raised in the church, but it wasn’t until I was faced with such life-altering trials that I really began to seek and find my testimony. And then, during finals week of my freshman year, President Benson died. Within days of the funeral, President Howard W. Hunter was sustained prophet and held a press conference.
Wasting no time in declaring his prophetic vision for the church, this soft-spoken and gentle man said that he had two directives for Church members. The first was to look to the Savior as the supreme example in our lives, doing in all things what he would do. He then said,
“Secondly, and in that same spirit, I also invite the members of the Church to establish the temple of the Lord as the great symbol of their membership and the supernal setting for their most sacred covenants. It would be the deepest desire of my heart to have every member of the Church be temple worthy. I would hope that every adult member would be worthy of—and carry—a current temple recommend, even if proximity to a temple does not allow immediate or frequent use of it.
“Let us be a temple-attending and a temple-loving people. Let us hasten to the temple as frequently as time and means and personal circumstances allow. Let us go not only for our kindred dead, but let us also go for the personal blessing of temple worship, for the sanctity and safety which is provided within those hallowed and consecrated walls. The temple is a place of beauty, it is a place of revelation, it is a place of peace. It is the house of the Lord. It is holy unto the Lord. It should be holy unto us.”[1]
Perhaps I had matured, or because of my new-found testimony, it was the first time I remembered really standing up and taking note of what the prophet said. I replayed those words of the temple as “the great symbol of our membership.” That resonated with me, even though I had very little understanding of what he meant.
In October of that year, his first presidency message in the Ensign reiterated the charge[2]. Just a week after the issue came out, he spoke in conference. He again shared a similar message, encouraging us to display pictures of the temple in our homes. He also mentions the upcoming dedication of the Bountiful Temple and said, “My brothers and sisters, I testify that the impressions of the Spirit have weighed heavily upon me in considering these matters.”[3]
It turned out that nearly a million people toured the Bountiful Temple in November and December of 1994[4]. My parents had tickets for a tour on a November evening. The temple was nearly two hours away from where I attended college at Utah State University in Logan, but I decided to attend with my parents anyway. Snow was forecast for that day, but without too much worry I set off. The temple was lovely and the rooms were incredible. I remember especially the bride’s room. However, it was also very crowded, and there was no explanation provided for the purpose of the various rooms. Between the crowds and my confusion, my experience was not exactly what I had hoped for. I was not sorry I had gone, certainly, but I had not felt the spirit the way I expected. When we were done touring the temple, I went with my parents back to my home in Ogden, where they encouraged me to stay for the night. I had early classes, however, and decided to be on my way.
All started well on my journey back to my apartment, but about five minutes after entering Sardine Canyon, the snow began in earnest. Besides the snow rushing at my windshield like the Millennium Falcon rushing into hyperspace, it was very foggy. I slowed down to a crawl, not able to see more than a few feet in front of me, my headlights actually exacerbating the effects of snow and fog. I have driven that canyon literally hundreds of times in my life and I can only remember a handful of instances when conditions were that bad. I knew I was in serious trouble if I went off the road. The only shoes I had with me were the dress shoes I was wearing; my only coat, a thin dress coat. I didn’t have food or water in the car. I didn’t have a phone to call for help. I didn’t have a shovel in case digging myself out became necessary. I went at a snail’s pace for nearly ten miles. With relief, I could tell from the lay of the road that I was nearing the end of the canyon.
Whenever I drive into Cache Valley, particularly at night, the first thing I look for in the distance is the temple. It is built on a bluff just in front of the mouth of another canyon through the mountains to the east. As you enter the valley from the south, the temple stands out brightly, with its white spires illuminated bluish white every night. Though it is nearly pushed up against the east mountains, you get the impression that it actually stands on a large hill right in the center of the valley. The pioneers chose their site for the temple very well.
But that night, as I exited the canyon with 10 miles to go to my apartment just blocks from the temple, I still couldn’t see a thing. The snow had let up, but the fog was as bad as ever. My habit for getting to my apartment was to go up around the temple, even though the route took a few extra minutes, because it was a pretty drive. Despite the terrible visibility and little hope of seeing anything, I kept to my routine and drove up around the temple. I nearly ran off the road as I rounded the curve.
As if someone had turned on a switch, the temple was suddenly before me, blazingly bright and seeming to rise up out of the fog. Its parking lot was empty, covered only with a layer of fresh new snow. The quiet was intense and lovely as I pulled over carefully and just stared for several minutes, feeling the manifestation in my spirit that I had not felt inside the cozy and warm temple from the hours previous. I knew with all my heart that I wanted to be inside that sacred building, that I wanted to understand what President Hunter meant when he said that the temple should be the symbol of our membership.
But I knew something else. I knew that I was no more prepared to be in that glorious building than I was to be driving through the canyon that night.
I’m going to relate the symbols of what I was missing from my car that day to things I was also missing from my life. As I do, please carefully consider the things in your own life that may need putting in order so that we might each claim the blessings that our Father in Heaven is standing ready to give us.
1) Boots. If something had gone wrong and I had to get out of my car, I would have been wet to my nyloned knees in the ridiculous shoes I was wearing.
Just as my shoes would have allowed me to do little more than mince and slip in the snow, the faith I was exercising at that time in my life was weak and tentative. In 1997, the sesquicentennial of the pioneer’s arrival in Utah, President Hinckley narrated a remarkable documentary, shown in conference, titled Faith in Every Footstep[5]. There was a lovely hymn of the same title composed that same year to honor the anniversary[6]. In the documentary, President Hinckley and his counselors spoke with fervor and testimony about the faith of our early pioneer ancestors. They were a people who understood that faith was not just about believing, but that true faith inspires you to act, time and time again, even against overwhelming odds and challenges.
My own faith was not like this. I had not learned to trust the Lord. Despite many wonderful and subtle spiritual experiences through my teenage years, I asked time and time again for a manifestation about the truthfulness of the gospel. I was not unlike Oliver Cowdery. Even with experience after experience, Oliver still petitioned Joseph to ask the Lord to send him another witness. The Lord’s reply to Oliver’s question is loving, but there is a distinct rebuke also.
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might aknow concerning the truth of these things. Did I not speak apeace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater bwitness can you have than from God?[7]”
I needed to trust the many witnesses I had received from God and move forward; taking my turn to serve others and live the religion I knew to be true. Now, true faith was the first piece of preparation, but not the only one. From the scripture just shared, we see that Oliver was admonished to greater faith by listening to and trusting the Holy Ghost. This leads me to the second thing that would have been useful.
2) I needed something to keep me warm.
This symbol should be a little more obvious. The Savior himself said just hours before his atonement, “But the aComforter, which is the bHoly Ghost, whom the Father will send in my cname, he shall dteach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.[8]”
I love the word “comforter.” I think there is no better description of the way the Holy Ghost can help us to feel. In a world of turmoil and difficulty, indeed, there is no greater need than this marvelous feeling of comfort. In addition to providing feelings of comfort and peace, the Holy Ghost helps to guide and direct us in our decisions.
The importance of the Holy Ghost was a thing I did not understand when I was a teenager in the YW program. My leaders and seminary teachers always seemed so urgent about us gaining testimonies, and learning to recognize the Spirit. I just didn’t really see what the big deal was. It wasn’t until that first spring away from home when life’s major trials truly beset me for the first time that I understood why my leaders had tried so hard. Between the ages of 18 and 25, I made no fewer than eight major life decisions. Decisions that would have changed the whole course of my life and perhaps my eternity if they had been different. I don’t know how I would have done this without the influence of the Holy Ghost, or how I could have possibly had any confidence in my decisions without His powerful, guiding influence.
In a world where the philosophies of men are becoming increasingly confused with doctrines of God, it will be vital to listen to the Holy Ghost so that we might do what is right.
3) Though the events of that snowy night happened before it was common for college students to carry cell phones, a means of communication would have been a third highly useful thing to have.
The best means of communication that we have with the Lord is prayer. It can be done any time and anywhere. It can be done with much forethought or on a whim. Prayer can be formal in front of a congregation, or traveling in the car on the way to work. When we call on God in all sincerity, he will answer us. Alma the younger gave the following counsel to one of his sons:
“Yea, and acry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy bdoings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy cthoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
“aCounsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for bgood; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the cmorning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.[9]”
4) If the worst had happened and I had been stranded in my car for any length of time, I would have gotten hungry very quickly. You know what a humbling experience it can be to fast even a few hours. Our physical body can only survive a very short time without nourishment. Our spirits are no different.
In the last few chapters written by Nephi, he talks about the importance of reading the scriptures saying, “aAngels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, bfeast upon the cwords of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will dtell you all things what ye should do.[10]”
To bring this feasting image into more modern language, in 1988, President Benson gave a talk about one of his favorite topics, the Book of Mormon. He spoke at length about the potential he saw for the book in the hands of righteous and studied church members. My favorite part of his talk is specifically to missionaries, but his words can apply to all of us.
“We need to read daily from the pages of the [Book of Mormon] that will get a man ‘nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.’ I challenge all of us to prayerfully consider steps that we can personally take to bring this new witness for Christ more fully into our own lives and into a world that so desperately needs it. I have a vision of thousands of missionaries going into the mission field with hundreds of passages memorized from the Book of Mormon so that they might feed the needs of a spiritually famished world.[11]”
I will not ask for a raise of hands for how many of you have hundreds of passages memorized from the Book of Mormon, but it should be apparent that we have a long way to go in how carefully we are reading this most sacred book, as well as our other scriptures. It is impossible to feed others if we ourselves are spiritually famished.
5) The last useful tool to me would have been a shovel. Sometimes you just have to dig yourself out.
Regardless of how much faith a person has or how often we read the scriptures, we are all just human, and mistakes will be made. This is part of our mortal experience. However, to be prepared for partaking the Lord’s covenants whether baptism or the sacrament or the temple, we must be humble enough to continually be in a state of repentance. As I’ve learned about and studied repentance I’ve come to see that repentance is much more than being sorry for the actions you’ve committed. It is even more than attempting to make reparations for the mistakes we’ve made. And it is more than merely promising never to commit these acts again. While each of these is an important part of the process of repentance, true repentance is more akin to conversion than apologizing. It is a complete bending of our will to our Father in Heaven’s so that our hearts are changed and we have no more disposition to do evil.
A few years ago, Elder Hafen gave one of the best talks that I have ever heard on the atonement. It was titled “All for All.” He explained that Christ is willing to put all he has on the line to save us, as long as we do the same. Obviously, what He brings to the table is much greater, but he accepts our best effort as enough. He then talked about trials and sin as part of ever mortal experience. He said,
“Adam and Eve learned constantly from their often harsh experience. They knew how a troubled family feels. Think of Cain and Abel. Yet because of the Atonement, they could learn from their experience without being condemned by it. Christ’s sacrifice didn’t just erase their choices and return them to an Eden of innocence. That would be a story with no plot and no character growth. His plan is developmental—line upon line, step by step, grace for grace.
“So if you have problems in your life, don’t assume there is something wrong with you. Struggling with those problems is at the very core of life’s purpose. As we draw close to God, He will show us our weaknesses and through them make us wiser, stronger. If you’re seeing more of your weaknesses that just might mean you’re moving nearer to God, not farther away [12].”
We all have difficulties that must be worked on. It is not a punishment to correct our lives to put them more in line with our Father’s will. It is instead a great blessing. Repentance allows us to “learn from our experience without being condemned by it.”
Obviously, any of these tools: faith, the influence of the Holy Ghost, prayer, scripture study and repentance could be a topic all on its own. I use them here to merely illustrate some things that can help prepare us to enter the temple.
After the Bountiful Temple’s dedication in January of 1995, President Hunter fell very ill as cancer spread through his body. His February message in the Ensign again reiterated his urgency to get members of the church to the temple[13]. On March 3, 1995 he passed away[14], just short of nine months after being called as prophet. His prophetic tenure was brief, but his message was powerful and sank deep into the hearts of the saints worldwide.
Almost exactly a year later I went to the Logan temple to receive my own endowment in preparation to serve a mission, thinking that I had arrived at some great destination. Instead, my temple experience, even from that very first day, showed me what President Hunter meant by the temple being a symbol. The temple was not actually an end in itself; it was a preparation for entering one day into God’s presence. The temple teaches us what is necessary to return to him.
As I made covenants there and participated in ordinances, I knew I was committing myself to a lifetime of service to the Lord: the temple was a beautiful representation of all that was possible if I kept my covenants. Yet the most powerful symbol for me that day came as I joined four generations of my family in the Celestial room. I cried as the spirit filled my whole soul, truly realizing for the first time that one of the Lord’s greatest promises is that God will allow our most cherished relationships on this earth to continue into the eternities.
Fairy tales always wrap up everything nice and neat with a “happily ever after” at the end of the story. Real life, however, is not quite that neat. Our lives continue long after the highs and lows: indeed we know that our lives will continue forever and we will constantly learn and struggle and triumph along the way. Some months after my endowment, I was serving my mission in a huge country with but a single temple. President Hinckley visited that great country in 1997 to tell the people in each of the major cities he visited that they would soon have temples too. The Lord had seen the faith of his people in following the admonition to carry recommends even if they had little opportunity to go to the temple: He would bring the temples to them. The Saints wept for joy at the news and I caught the tiniest glimpse of the thousands upon thousands of Saints who had taken President Hunter’s words to heart.
Each day is a preparation for eternity. I pray that each of us will look carefully at our lives and prune away what is unnecessary and spend our time instead focused on what the Lord tells us matters the most.
I know that as we prepare to one day enter the Lord’s presence there is no better voice to follow than the prophet. I have a testimony that President Monson is a prophet today, and that the keys have been handed down, unbroken since Joseph Smith was given them more than a century and a half ago. I know the Book of Mormon is God’s work: another testament that Jesus is indeed the Christ and that he is the head of this Church. I saw these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
[1] Jay M. Todd, “President Howard W. Hunter: Fourteenth President of the Church,” Ensign, Jul 1994, 2
[2] Howard W. Hunter, “The Great Symbol of Our Membership,” Ensign, Oct 1994, 2
[3] Howard W. Hunter, “‘Exceeding Great and Precious Promises’,” Ensign, Nov 1994, 7
[4] ”Bountiful Utah Temple Dedicated,” Ensign, Mar. 1995, 74–75
[5] “Faith in Every Footstep: The Epic Pioneer Journey,” Ensign, May 1997, 62
[6] K. Newell Dayley, “Faith in Every Footstep,” Liahona, Feb 1997, 22–23
[7] D & C 6:22-23
[8] John 14:26; note that Jesus refers to the idea of “comfort” two other times in this chapter—once in reference to the Holy Ghost (though some readings of this passage suggest that his reference to “another” comforter is in actuality a personal visitation from the Savior indicating your calling and election made sure) and the second time to his pledge not to leave the apostles “comfortless.” It is not exactly clear why, but it seems that the apostles were unable to have the full influence of the Holy Ghost while they had the Savior with them.
[9] Alma 37:36-37
[10] 2 Nephi 32:3; see also 2 Nephi 9:51 and 31:20 for more references to feasting and the scriptures written by Nephi. It should be remembered that Nephi had seen a vision of the end of the world. He knew, perhaps better than any writer in the Book of Mormon, that this record would be preserved for a people far removed from his own. He had a wonderful perspective on the importance of these scriptures, their coming forth, and what their restoration would mean for the history of mankind. In 2 Nephi 29 he talks at length about the necessity of a second witness and each time having its own scriptures. The incredible writing in that chapter shows his frustration with those who would one day reject the words he had spent his lifetime writing and protecting.
[11] Ezra Taft Benson, “Flooding the Earth with the Book of Mormon,” Ensign, Nov 1988, 4; the embedded reference is from the History of the Church 4:461 as well as the Book of Mormon’s introduction page.
[12] Bruce C. Hafen, “The Atonement: All for All,” Ensign, May 2004, 97. The embedded reference about weakness making us stronger is to Ether 12:27
[13] Howard W. Hunter, “A Temple-Motivated People,” Ensign, Feb 1995, 2
[14] “President Howard W. Hunter: The Lord’s ‘Good and Faithful Servant’,” Ensign, Apr 1995, 8
Labels:
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Monday, December 17, 2007
Looking for Love
I really need to post pictures from our 3rd birthday Diego party extravaganza, but maybe tomorrow.
Instead, a funny story and two great videos.
Scallywag Plankwalker has, for some odd reason, been interested in finding a wife (he sometimes calls her "mother") lately. The Poopy Pirate was given a puzzle-map of the United States for his birthday and Scallywag is fascinated by it. He is constantly asking to put it together and wants me to tell him the names of the states. The other night he was running his finger around the map and said to Plantboy, "Yep, somewhere around here I'm going to travel to find my little lady."
"Little lady, huh?"
"Yep, a little lady to get married to."
Today, as he looked at the map (as well as a world map we found on-line) he said, "I'm going to go to Brazil to find my little lady. Then, we will move back to Oregon. After our first baby we'll go to Texas. Then, after our second baby we'll got to West Virginia. After our third baby then we'll move to Canada. After all that, we'll get on a boat and go to Hawaii."
"To live?"
"No. For our first vacation." After all that, he's going to need one.
A nomad in training.
Here are the videos. I subbed RS in church on Friday. I pretty much had to fight the ugly cry during the entire lesson. The topic was on missionary work and it just happens to be ten years ago this week that I came home from the Great South Land. Besides feeling really old, teaching this lesson just reminded me for the umpteenth time how much I loved those people and how much serving a mission blessed my life. I showed the link in the lesson because President Kimball said that righteous members were "the best advertisement for the Church."
This link is to the story explaining the origin of the ad campaign. I've also linked the summary of the comencement given by Elder Ballard at BYU-Hawaii last week is reported on; his remarks go along so beautifully with his conference talk.
As I watch these commercials and it is like the Church has grown up. I'm not sure if can really explain that? It is like the Church is getting ready for another great round of converts or something. I hope I can do my part; I pray daily that I'll raise my sons to do theirs.
Instead, a funny story and two great videos.
Scallywag Plankwalker has, for some odd reason, been interested in finding a wife (he sometimes calls her "mother") lately. The Poopy Pirate was given a puzzle-map of the United States for his birthday and Scallywag is fascinated by it. He is constantly asking to put it together and wants me to tell him the names of the states. The other night he was running his finger around the map and said to Plantboy, "Yep, somewhere around here I'm going to travel to find my little lady."
"Little lady, huh?"
"Yep, a little lady to get married to."
Today, as he looked at the map (as well as a world map we found on-line) he said, "I'm going to go to Brazil to find my little lady. Then, we will move back to Oregon. After our first baby we'll go to Texas. Then, after our second baby we'll got to West Virginia. After our third baby then we'll move to Canada. After all that, we'll get on a boat and go to Hawaii."
"To live?"
"No. For our first vacation." After all that, he's going to need one.
A nomad in training.
Here are the videos. I subbed RS in church on Friday. I pretty much had to fight the ugly cry during the entire lesson. The topic was on missionary work and it just happens to be ten years ago this week that I came home from the Great South Land. Besides feeling really old, teaching this lesson just reminded me for the umpteenth time how much I loved those people and how much serving a mission blessed my life. I showed the link in the lesson because President Kimball said that righteous members were "the best advertisement for the Church."
This link is to the story explaining the origin of the ad campaign. I've also linked the summary of the comencement given by Elder Ballard at BYU-Hawaii last week is reported on; his remarks go along so beautifully with his conference talk.
As I watch these commercials and it is like the Church has grown up. I'm not sure if can really explain that? It is like the Church is getting ready for another great round of converts or something. I hope I can do my part; I pray daily that I'll raise my sons to do theirs.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
As Promised! The Chastity Talk
Fireside Talk:
This is excerpted/paraphrased. My original remarks were about 50 minutes long. The theme was from D & C 121:45 "Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts Unceasingly," which is the YM/YW theme for 2007.
I began by showing them pictures of myself in junior high and high school and spoke about trying to reinvent myself every year because I kept thinking that I'd have more confidence if I could just alter aspects of myself that I hated. These were mostly superficial things. Clothes, hair make-up, peer groups, etc. The kids, obviously got a real kick out of my late-eighties, early nineties attire and hair disasters. I'll pick up here:
"And while I was figuring out a lot about myself, there were still things that just didn't seem quite right. There was this boy that I really was crazy about who never saw me as anything more than a friend. I never quite got the grades I really craved. I never was the lead in the play. I never made student office. Even during my senior year, as I learned what I was good at and had lots of friends, I could never quite get rid of my inner turmoil.
"All this time I had attended seminary and church regularly. I knew a lot about the Church. I had felt the spirit many times and even borne my testimony, but I frequently doubted the truth of the gospel and often mistrusted my feelings.
"This is my state of mind when I got to college. And although I was thrilled to move out and be on my own, I was overwhelmed with the number of freshmen girls at my university. They all seemed just like me! I felt kind of adrift and without identity. And for the first time, I was very closely exposed to students who did not keep the commandments, or even pretend to. I
"Then during my freshman year of college, a series of a terrible and unrelated events happened, all of them within just a couple of months of each other." My freshman year was pretty bad--friends having terrible accidents or cancer, a brother with an emergency surgery, an aunt who died of cancer at age 34, leaving behind four young children. . . you get the picture.
"Up to that point, I’d had very few trials and I felt like my life was crashing down around my ears. And for the first time in my life I had to know if the gospel was true. I had to know if families were eternal, or if the whole temple marriage thing was just a nice fairy tale we told ourselves to feel better about death. I had to know that there was a purpose to trial and suffering and difficulty. I had to know there was a reason to keep the commandments and be righteous, when I was surrounded by those who seemed to have a lot more fun by not doing these things.
"So I did the things I’d been taught. I prayed and studied the scriptures. I read stories from the life of the Savior and tried to learn who He was so I could begin to understand what He had done for me, and what He meant to me. I worked hard on being a good daughter and good friend. And then one day, I knew. I still remember the chair I was sitting in and the passage of the book I was reading when it hit me. I knew that Jesus had died for me, a poor, struggling college student who had no idea what terrible thing would happen next to someone I loved. Once this knowledge flooded me, the other pieces of the gospel fell into place and I knew that our trials had purpose and that families were eternal. I didn’t doubt any more, and I began keeping the commandments because I wanted to.
"And I learned one of the most important lessons of my life: confidence does not come from changing your outward appearance or your friends or from always saying the right thing, though the world will tell us this is the exact formula. But this prideful sense of self-esteem is just Satan’s counterfeit for true confidence.
"True confidence is something else entirely. True confidence is trusting the Lord so completely that our testimonies do not falter even when the storms of life beset us. True confidence is having our thoughts so in tune with the Lord that the Spirit is our constant companion in the face of every difficulty, temptation and trial. "
We then discussed the scriptural theme for the year and talked about the terrible circumstances under which Joseph was given this revelation. I told them that I loved this scripture for its built in promise about having confidence. My whole life I'd fought so hard to have confidence, but the formula was there in the scriptures all along. This, incidentally, is the only time in the scriptures that the word "confidence is used."
"True confidence . . . has nothing to do with how we dress or look or act, it has everything to do with how much faith we exercise.
"So though I’ve spent most of our time here tonight focusing on this remarkable promise of confidence in the presence of the Lord, I’d like to take some more time now on the virtue part."
We then discussed the 13th Article of Faith and how it uses the term virtue in two different contexts. "The first time it comes in a list of other good attributes. So our first working definition is that virtue is a particular attribute, a Christlike attribute, that is desirous to have. The second time it is used, it gives the impression that all of these things can be considered virtuous, so that virtue can also be a general category of good things.
"Some years back President Hinckley wrote a book that spent a couple of weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. This book may look familiar to some of you. Now you are probably all too young to have been aware when this came out, but if your parents have a copy of this book, you should read it. The book is called Standing for Something: 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes."
The kids came up with as many virtues as they could. I mentioned that although they were all good, we wanted to emphasize, "chapter three of his book called, 'Making a Case for Morality, in which he uses the words morality, chastity and virtue interchangeably. So while virtue is being generally a good person, virtue is, specifically, keeping the Lord’s law of chastity. Just so there is no question about what this law is, I’m going to quote directly from For the Strength of Youth 'Physical Intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage.'
"I think it is important to point out here that the term “sexual intimacy” is used, which is more encompassing than if just the word “sex” is used. If you have any questions about behaviors and whether or not they are appropriate, you should read the rest of this section as well as the section on chastity in 'True to the Faith." Or talk to your parents and leaders and bishop. And if you are behaving in any way in reference to the opposite sex that even raises a question in your mind of whether or not it is appropriate, then stop what you are doing immediately.
"I want to quote somewhat at length from President Hinckley’s book here. I am also going to have several of you read quotes from his book as well as a talk that was given in October Conference 1998 by Jeffrey R. Holland, which I first heard when my husband and I were dating. I quote liberally from the prophets here because their words, while being plain and unapologetic about our standards, are also filled with love and authority."
The kids read several excerpts which I will not quote here--you really should read both the chapter and the talk in their complete form. EXCELLENT stuff.
"I know it is hard. I know it. About a year before going on my mission, I committed myself to the Lord one night in my prayers, promising that by my 21st birthday I would be ready and worthy to go to the temple—whether to be married or to go on a mission would be up to Him, but I would be ready.
"I was so grateful for my commitment. Just weeks after making this promise, I was tested in this very principle. I came to the moment of decision, and if I had not decided before-hand and made that firm commitment of worthiness to the Lord, I would never have had the strength to make up my mind in that instant. And if I had not made the right decision, I would have regretted it for months, and maybe years after.
"Because it wasn’t marriage that happened for me first; it was a mission. The confidence I took with me on my mission, true confidence based on the Lord’s requirements, was one of my most valuable possessions. Only perfect trust in the Lord could have compelled me to knock on doors, day after day, week after week and share the gospel message. And even after thousands and thousands of rejections, my testimony, my faith and my confidence only grew. I saw an elder on the last day of his mission knock on a door and say with absolute steadiness, 'Sir, I am here on your doorstep because the Lord wants to call you to repentance. Will you listen to our message?' The man did listen. Only perfect purity of heart can give you enough faith to say such a thing to a perfect stranger.
"Now, I know that you are exposed to things so much worse and more shocking than what I was exposed to as a teenager, but I also know--I know--that you were saved to come to earth for this time because you are the very best the Lord has. Many of you sitting in this very room no doubt sat at the knee of our Father in Heaven before you ever came to this earth and solemnly promised to do all in your power to overcome temptation and return to Him. There is nothing the world has to offer that is greater than the Kingdom of Heaven. Nothing.
"Satan knows this. And I hate to even bring up his name. I hate to even give him mention in a place that should uplift and edify. But he is so real. He knows you are the best of the best. It is nothing for him to claim a soul that is already on its way down to hell, but if he can claim one of YOU for his own—one of God’s own elite—then he laughs and laughs as he watches you surrender your agency to your passions, as he watches you surrender your body to one who will break your heart and surrender your soul to himself, so he can enslave you.
"I’d like to take a moment to address the boys.
"I’ve never had a teenage son, nor have I been a teenage boy. But I have taught hundreds of middle and high schoolers over the last several years and I have three sons of my own. I think I know a little bit about how boys tick. You hear talks time and time again about the evils of pornography. But even with the repetition, I don’t think the warning can be repeated often enough. There is nothing in our society that will give you a more perverse idea of relationships between men and women. There is nothing that will lead you to objectify and distort the truth about love and intimacy as much as pornography. It will poison your mind and heart and spirit. And if doesn’t even have to be hard pornography found in certain places on the internet. Any television program, song or commercial that treats women as objects to satisfy desire is unworthy of a priesthood holder’s time and attention; even a moment is too much if it seeks to cheapen things that are sacred. If you do date, date in groups. If you date alone, specify a start and ending time to the date. Bring her home early. Whatever you do, PLAN activities for your dates. There is nothing more flattering to a young woman than to know her date has cared enough about her to plan something to do. If you are in a place where your guy and girl friends are doing nothing more than hanging out or, worst case scenario, watching a movie in the dark, then have the courage to be like Joseph of Egypt and FLEE. Have the courage to date girls who are keeping gospel standards, even if it means you may not get a goodnight kiss. Have the courage to tell a young woman who is dressed modestly how pretty she looks and how proud you are to be seen with her.
"Now the boys can tune out while I address the girls.
"You young sisters have more power over the young men than even they will dare admit. If you would one day have strong marriages and worthy priesthood holders leading your families, you must not do anything that would jeopardize the young men you associate with—either the young men you date, or the young men you are friends with—from going on missions. On their missions they will learn the true nature of love and sacrifice; they will return home ready to settle and commit and lead. The way you speak, the way you dress, the way you walk, has a huge influence on any young man in your vicinity. Using your words and your body to tease, tempt and control is the cruelest use of the powerful gifts God has given to you. Do not wear clothes that are so tight your straps underneath can be seen; do not sit on a guy’s lap, even if he is just a friend; do not give back rubs; do not wear dresses that creep up your legs and shirts that creep up your bellies. Try clothes on until you find the ones that fit you properly so they are not too tight or too sloppy. But most of all, do not explain away such behavior. Rationalization is no substitute for quiet dignity and modesty. Nobody should ever have to look at you and wonder if you are LDS.
"And while many of these things, on their own, are not direct violations of the Law of Chastity, I have seen every single one of them lead to things that are.
"In the Book of Mormon, Alma gives some advice to each of his sons before he dies. He says to one of them, 'Bridle all of your passions that you may be filled with love.' The world would have us believe that expressing your passion is the equivalence of expressing your love. But the Lord’s way is the higher way, and he says that expressing our passion is absolutely NOT love: it is keeping our passion under control so that we might have time to learn and develop true Christlike love instead of just giving in to our selfish desires.
"When I knelt across the altar from my husband eight and a half years ago, surrounded by family and friends in that beautiful sealing room in the Logan temple, I knew that we were worthy to be there. I knew that any price I had paid in self control was worth it for that moment and for the eternity we would have together, and the children that would be born to us. On that day, I began to understand what it means to really be 'in love.' I testify to you this day, that keeping your thoughts clean and pure and virtuous is WORTH IT. Whatever sacrifice you think you are making to get your life in order is NOTHING compared to the blessings the Lord is waiting to give to you when you approach him with clean hands and a pure heart.
I concluded by sharing two stories: the first of a girl I had grown up with who allowed herself be led away, and the second of a remarkable young man I taught on my mission.
After sharing the story of the young woman, who, after a series of terrible choices, ended up pregnant by age 16, I said, "Not long ago I heard about her, though my parents have since moved from that neighborhood. She is renting the home she grew up in from her parents who have moved away. She has several children now from at least two different fathers and has been divorced a couple of times. Her unwillingness to keep her thoughts and actions pure has caused her to have a life that is difficult and no doubt, filled with a large measure of sorrow. At what point could she have turned things around?"
There was some discussion about the right time to make good choices, and then one especially perceptive Priest said, "Now!"
"That is right. At any point she wanted to. The Savior’s atonement is real and powerful. At any moment, even now, that she decides her life is not what she wants it to be and she desires to repent, she can begin the long process back toward the light. Any one of you sitting her tonight has the same promise extended. If there is anything in your life that needs changing, do it now! The Lord is waiting to help you overcome your sin and to bless you anew with the power of His Spirit. You just have to take a single step in the right direction. I shared her story because I don't think any dicussion of chastity can be made without reference to repentance."
I then shared a story of one of the most remarkable young men I've ever met, Peter, and shared his conversion story I was pleased to witness during my mission. The central pont was that, "Peter did not have a single thing in his life when we met him that would give him anything the world termed confidence.
"Still, even before joining the church, the strength of Peter’s spirit shone through and he was a young man of integrity. A year or two previous he had made a commitment to himself not to drink or smoke as well as a decision to live the law of chastity. While this may not seem too remarkable to you, growing up in the church and being trained to make these commitments from your early childhood, but to a young man growing up in Australia! Such a commitment outside the church is hardly ever heard of.
"After his baptism, Peter glowed with such a light that he found himself a white shirt and tie at the thrift shop and was out door knocking with our district leader before he had even been a member for a month. Our district leader said that Peter was more bold at the doors than even he and his companion and his strength of spirit and pure testimony had given them teaching opportunities they wouldn’t have otherwise had.
"Peter’s journey hasn’t always gone as smoothly as those first several weeks, but he has endured. Just over a year ago, he and his wife were sealed together in the Sydney Temple. Now, if Peter will stay true to the covenants he made both at baptism and in the temple, keeping his thoughts and actions clean before the Lord, then he will be able to be the husband and father that his own dad was not. He will be walk with confidence when confronting any situation because his life is right with the Lord."
I closed with my testimony of the divinity of the soul and the Lord's love for each of us, urging the kids to find out for themselves who they really are and to gain a testimony so that resisting temptation will not be as hard.
I think it went over pretty well. The leaders liked it and the kids are all still speaking to me.
This is excerpted/paraphrased. My original remarks were about 50 minutes long. The theme was from D & C 121:45 "Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts Unceasingly," which is the YM/YW theme for 2007.
I began by showing them pictures of myself in junior high and high school and spoke about trying to reinvent myself every year because I kept thinking that I'd have more confidence if I could just alter aspects of myself that I hated. These were mostly superficial things. Clothes, hair make-up, peer groups, etc. The kids, obviously got a real kick out of my late-eighties, early nineties attire and hair disasters. I'll pick up here:
"And while I was figuring out a lot about myself, there were still things that just didn't seem quite right. There was this boy that I really was crazy about who never saw me as anything more than a friend. I never quite got the grades I really craved. I never was the lead in the play. I never made student office. Even during my senior year, as I learned what I was good at and had lots of friends, I could never quite get rid of my inner turmoil.
"All this time I had attended seminary and church regularly. I knew a lot about the Church. I had felt the spirit many times and even borne my testimony, but I frequently doubted the truth of the gospel and often mistrusted my feelings.
"This is my state of mind when I got to college. And although I was thrilled to move out and be on my own, I was overwhelmed with the number of freshmen girls at my university. They all seemed just like me! I felt kind of adrift and without identity. And for the first time, I was very closely exposed to students who did not keep the commandments, or even pretend to. I
"Then during my freshman year of college, a series of a terrible and unrelated events happened, all of them within just a couple of months of each other." My freshman year was pretty bad--friends having terrible accidents or cancer, a brother with an emergency surgery, an aunt who died of cancer at age 34, leaving behind four young children. . . you get the picture.
"Up to that point, I’d had very few trials and I felt like my life was crashing down around my ears. And for the first time in my life I had to know if the gospel was true. I had to know if families were eternal, or if the whole temple marriage thing was just a nice fairy tale we told ourselves to feel better about death. I had to know that there was a purpose to trial and suffering and difficulty. I had to know there was a reason to keep the commandments and be righteous, when I was surrounded by those who seemed to have a lot more fun by not doing these things.
"So I did the things I’d been taught. I prayed and studied the scriptures. I read stories from the life of the Savior and tried to learn who He was so I could begin to understand what He had done for me, and what He meant to me. I worked hard on being a good daughter and good friend. And then one day, I knew. I still remember the chair I was sitting in and the passage of the book I was reading when it hit me. I knew that Jesus had died for me, a poor, struggling college student who had no idea what terrible thing would happen next to someone I loved. Once this knowledge flooded me, the other pieces of the gospel fell into place and I knew that our trials had purpose and that families were eternal. I didn’t doubt any more, and I began keeping the commandments because I wanted to.
"And I learned one of the most important lessons of my life: confidence does not come from changing your outward appearance or your friends or from always saying the right thing, though the world will tell us this is the exact formula. But this prideful sense of self-esteem is just Satan’s counterfeit for true confidence.
"True confidence is something else entirely. True confidence is trusting the Lord so completely that our testimonies do not falter even when the storms of life beset us. True confidence is having our thoughts so in tune with the Lord that the Spirit is our constant companion in the face of every difficulty, temptation and trial. "
We then discussed the scriptural theme for the year and talked about the terrible circumstances under which Joseph was given this revelation. I told them that I loved this scripture for its built in promise about having confidence. My whole life I'd fought so hard to have confidence, but the formula was there in the scriptures all along. This, incidentally, is the only time in the scriptures that the word "confidence is used."
"True confidence . . . has nothing to do with how we dress or look or act, it has everything to do with how much faith we exercise.
"So though I’ve spent most of our time here tonight focusing on this remarkable promise of confidence in the presence of the Lord, I’d like to take some more time now on the virtue part."
We then discussed the 13th Article of Faith and how it uses the term virtue in two different contexts. "The first time it comes in a list of other good attributes. So our first working definition is that virtue is a particular attribute, a Christlike attribute, that is desirous to have. The second time it is used, it gives the impression that all of these things can be considered virtuous, so that virtue can also be a general category of good things.
"Some years back President Hinckley wrote a book that spent a couple of weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. This book may look familiar to some of you. Now you are probably all too young to have been aware when this came out, but if your parents have a copy of this book, you should read it. The book is called Standing for Something: 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes."
The kids came up with as many virtues as they could. I mentioned that although they were all good, we wanted to emphasize, "chapter three of his book called, 'Making a Case for Morality, in which he uses the words morality, chastity and virtue interchangeably. So while virtue is being generally a good person, virtue is, specifically, keeping the Lord’s law of chastity. Just so there is no question about what this law is, I’m going to quote directly from For the Strength of Youth 'Physical Intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage.'
"I think it is important to point out here that the term “sexual intimacy” is used, which is more encompassing than if just the word “sex” is used. If you have any questions about behaviors and whether or not they are appropriate, you should read the rest of this section as well as the section on chastity in 'True to the Faith." Or talk to your parents and leaders and bishop. And if you are behaving in any way in reference to the opposite sex that even raises a question in your mind of whether or not it is appropriate, then stop what you are doing immediately.
"I want to quote somewhat at length from President Hinckley’s book here. I am also going to have several of you read quotes from his book as well as a talk that was given in October Conference 1998 by Jeffrey R. Holland, which I first heard when my husband and I were dating. I quote liberally from the prophets here because their words, while being plain and unapologetic about our standards, are also filled with love and authority."
The kids read several excerpts which I will not quote here--you really should read both the chapter and the talk in their complete form. EXCELLENT stuff.
"I know it is hard. I know it. About a year before going on my mission, I committed myself to the Lord one night in my prayers, promising that by my 21st birthday I would be ready and worthy to go to the temple—whether to be married or to go on a mission would be up to Him, but I would be ready.
"I was so grateful for my commitment. Just weeks after making this promise, I was tested in this very principle. I came to the moment of decision, and if I had not decided before-hand and made that firm commitment of worthiness to the Lord, I would never have had the strength to make up my mind in that instant. And if I had not made the right decision, I would have regretted it for months, and maybe years after.
"Because it wasn’t marriage that happened for me first; it was a mission. The confidence I took with me on my mission, true confidence based on the Lord’s requirements, was one of my most valuable possessions. Only perfect trust in the Lord could have compelled me to knock on doors, day after day, week after week and share the gospel message. And even after thousands and thousands of rejections, my testimony, my faith and my confidence only grew. I saw an elder on the last day of his mission knock on a door and say with absolute steadiness, 'Sir, I am here on your doorstep because the Lord wants to call you to repentance. Will you listen to our message?' The man did listen. Only perfect purity of heart can give you enough faith to say such a thing to a perfect stranger.
"Now, I know that you are exposed to things so much worse and more shocking than what I was exposed to as a teenager, but I also know--I know--that you were saved to come to earth for this time because you are the very best the Lord has. Many of you sitting in this very room no doubt sat at the knee of our Father in Heaven before you ever came to this earth and solemnly promised to do all in your power to overcome temptation and return to Him. There is nothing the world has to offer that is greater than the Kingdom of Heaven. Nothing.
"Satan knows this. And I hate to even bring up his name. I hate to even give him mention in a place that should uplift and edify. But he is so real. He knows you are the best of the best. It is nothing for him to claim a soul that is already on its way down to hell, but if he can claim one of YOU for his own—one of God’s own elite—then he laughs and laughs as he watches you surrender your agency to your passions, as he watches you surrender your body to one who will break your heart and surrender your soul to himself, so he can enslave you.
"I’d like to take a moment to address the boys.
"I’ve never had a teenage son, nor have I been a teenage boy. But I have taught hundreds of middle and high schoolers over the last several years and I have three sons of my own. I think I know a little bit about how boys tick. You hear talks time and time again about the evils of pornography. But even with the repetition, I don’t think the warning can be repeated often enough. There is nothing in our society that will give you a more perverse idea of relationships between men and women. There is nothing that will lead you to objectify and distort the truth about love and intimacy as much as pornography. It will poison your mind and heart and spirit. And if doesn’t even have to be hard pornography found in certain places on the internet. Any television program, song or commercial that treats women as objects to satisfy desire is unworthy of a priesthood holder’s time and attention; even a moment is too much if it seeks to cheapen things that are sacred. If you do date, date in groups. If you date alone, specify a start and ending time to the date. Bring her home early. Whatever you do, PLAN activities for your dates. There is nothing more flattering to a young woman than to know her date has cared enough about her to plan something to do. If you are in a place where your guy and girl friends are doing nothing more than hanging out or, worst case scenario, watching a movie in the dark, then have the courage to be like Joseph of Egypt and FLEE. Have the courage to date girls who are keeping gospel standards, even if it means you may not get a goodnight kiss. Have the courage to tell a young woman who is dressed modestly how pretty she looks and how proud you are to be seen with her.
"Now the boys can tune out while I address the girls.
"You young sisters have more power over the young men than even they will dare admit. If you would one day have strong marriages and worthy priesthood holders leading your families, you must not do anything that would jeopardize the young men you associate with—either the young men you date, or the young men you are friends with—from going on missions. On their missions they will learn the true nature of love and sacrifice; they will return home ready to settle and commit and lead. The way you speak, the way you dress, the way you walk, has a huge influence on any young man in your vicinity. Using your words and your body to tease, tempt and control is the cruelest use of the powerful gifts God has given to you. Do not wear clothes that are so tight your straps underneath can be seen; do not sit on a guy’s lap, even if he is just a friend; do not give back rubs; do not wear dresses that creep up your legs and shirts that creep up your bellies. Try clothes on until you find the ones that fit you properly so they are not too tight or too sloppy. But most of all, do not explain away such behavior. Rationalization is no substitute for quiet dignity and modesty. Nobody should ever have to look at you and wonder if you are LDS.
"And while many of these things, on their own, are not direct violations of the Law of Chastity, I have seen every single one of them lead to things that are.
"In the Book of Mormon, Alma gives some advice to each of his sons before he dies. He says to one of them, 'Bridle all of your passions that you may be filled with love.' The world would have us believe that expressing your passion is the equivalence of expressing your love. But the Lord’s way is the higher way, and he says that expressing our passion is absolutely NOT love: it is keeping our passion under control so that we might have time to learn and develop true Christlike love instead of just giving in to our selfish desires.
"When I knelt across the altar from my husband eight and a half years ago, surrounded by family and friends in that beautiful sealing room in the Logan temple, I knew that we were worthy to be there. I knew that any price I had paid in self control was worth it for that moment and for the eternity we would have together, and the children that would be born to us. On that day, I began to understand what it means to really be 'in love.' I testify to you this day, that keeping your thoughts clean and pure and virtuous is WORTH IT. Whatever sacrifice you think you are making to get your life in order is NOTHING compared to the blessings the Lord is waiting to give to you when you approach him with clean hands and a pure heart.
I concluded by sharing two stories: the first of a girl I had grown up with who allowed herself be led away, and the second of a remarkable young man I taught on my mission.
After sharing the story of the young woman, who, after a series of terrible choices, ended up pregnant by age 16, I said, "Not long ago I heard about her, though my parents have since moved from that neighborhood. She is renting the home she grew up in from her parents who have moved away. She has several children now from at least two different fathers and has been divorced a couple of times. Her unwillingness to keep her thoughts and actions pure has caused her to have a life that is difficult and no doubt, filled with a large measure of sorrow. At what point could she have turned things around?"
There was some discussion about the right time to make good choices, and then one especially perceptive Priest said, "Now!"
"That is right. At any point she wanted to. The Savior’s atonement is real and powerful. At any moment, even now, that she decides her life is not what she wants it to be and she desires to repent, she can begin the long process back toward the light. Any one of you sitting her tonight has the same promise extended. If there is anything in your life that needs changing, do it now! The Lord is waiting to help you overcome your sin and to bless you anew with the power of His Spirit. You just have to take a single step in the right direction. I shared her story because I don't think any dicussion of chastity can be made without reference to repentance."
I then shared a story of one of the most remarkable young men I've ever met, Peter, and shared his conversion story I was pleased to witness during my mission. The central pont was that, "Peter did not have a single thing in his life when we met him that would give him anything the world termed confidence.
"Still, even before joining the church, the strength of Peter’s spirit shone through and he was a young man of integrity. A year or two previous he had made a commitment to himself not to drink or smoke as well as a decision to live the law of chastity. While this may not seem too remarkable to you, growing up in the church and being trained to make these commitments from your early childhood, but to a young man growing up in Australia! Such a commitment outside the church is hardly ever heard of.
"After his baptism, Peter glowed with such a light that he found himself a white shirt and tie at the thrift shop and was out door knocking with our district leader before he had even been a member for a month. Our district leader said that Peter was more bold at the doors than even he and his companion and his strength of spirit and pure testimony had given them teaching opportunities they wouldn’t have otherwise had.
"Peter’s journey hasn’t always gone as smoothly as those first several weeks, but he has endured. Just over a year ago, he and his wife were sealed together in the Sydney Temple. Now, if Peter will stay true to the covenants he made both at baptism and in the temple, keeping his thoughts and actions clean before the Lord, then he will be able to be the husband and father that his own dad was not. He will be walk with confidence when confronting any situation because his life is right with the Lord."
I closed with my testimony of the divinity of the soul and the Lord's love for each of us, urging the kids to find out for themselves who they really are and to gain a testimony so that resisting temptation will not be as hard.
I think it went over pretty well. The leaders liked it and the kids are all still speaking to me.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
The Small Plates Portion of my Blog
Some weeks back, Nemesis gave a talk in church and then posted the text of her talk the following Monday. I thought it was a really nice and uplifting way to begin my Monday. And as I've tried to make this blog not just a record of the journey, but a log of the things I've learned, I think I will do the same. I'll post pictures later in the week of our fun weekend at the pumpkin patch and the apple orchard.
Text of talk dated 10/14/2007
Since getting married just a little over eight years ago, our family has moved nine times. These moves have taken us to very different parts of the country and all types of living arrangements. In the middle of all of this, we’ve had three sons, our oldest will be six in a couple of weeks and our youngest was just born in May. My husband and I have each held a number of jobs, and [Plantboy] has earned two college degrees in the same eight years.
When I condense our life together into a few short sentences, it sounds almost overwhelming, but with all this change there have been two important constants—our family and the church. Regardless of how far we’ve roamed from the parents and siblings we grew up with, we have the security of one another and the Lord’s promises to depend on. The church has been the other anchor in our lives. I have lived in over twenty different wards since graduating from high school, but I know when I go to church on Sunday there will be things that never change. [Plantboy] and I know that all we have to do is go the church on Sunday and we will be watched over and protected by the good word of God[1] and the love of his Saints. On the downside, it does mean we speak in church fairly regularly.
Our topic today is the Plan of Salvation. Rather than just give an overview of the plan, we chose to focus on just two key parts of the blueprint our Father in Heaven has laid out for our happiness. Today I will be speaking about the home and its role in preparing family members to learn of the Savior’s plan so that all will desire to make and keep both baptismal covenants and temple covenants. My husband will talk about the temple and its role as a place of spiritual refuge and progression.
As our world moves further away from the righteous purpose of families and proper relationships between men and women, it becomes that much more important to teach our children the sacred purpose of their lives and to give them faith to set proper goals and to work to attain them. In her Conference talk last week, Mary Cook, the second counselor in the Young Women’s General Presidency, quoted from For the Strength of Youth pamphlet saying, “being part of a family is a great blessing. . . . Not all families are the same, but each is important in Heavenly Father’s plan.”[2]
The bible dictionary states that “only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.”[3] This is a heavy responsibility for each family member. And while all families do not look alike, each of us have assumed some role in a family, or maybe many roles—parent, child, grandparent, aunt, uncle—each person has a unique part to play in the overall harmony of the family unit.
To learn more about proper family roles, we need look no further than the words of the prophets. It is interesting that the Proclamation on the Family[4] begins with a basic overview of the Plan of Salvation and the family’s purpose of helping the Father with his “plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” With so many dissenting voices about what people, particularly, young adults should be doing with their lives, The Proclamation teaches the following doctrines in clear and distinct terms:
1) Marriage is ordained of God and spouses should cleave unto one another and none else.
2) Children are a gift from Heavenly Father and should be treated as such. Husbands and wives should desire to have children, as well as to “rear [them] in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.”
3) Having children is not to be taken lightly and children are entitled to be born in a family to a father and a mother.
4) Mothers and Fathers have certain primary responsibilities, though they are equal partners. Families should carefully consider their individual circumstances before deviating from these duties.
Though these principles are primarily aimed at parents, there is part of the Proclamation that applies to any family member. “Successful . . . families are established on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work and wholesome recreational activities.” President Hinckley’s talk that included the first reading of the Proclamation in 1995 makes clear that every person has the privilege of helping create a successful family, and that each of us has the responsibility to increase Christ-like attributes in our respective homes.
In her Conference talk, Sister Cook also spoke of the need for each person in the family to follow prophetic counsel to pray, study scriptures, and to keep the other commandments. She said, “As you commit to these patterns of righteousness, you will be blessed throughout your life and will develop the spiritual foundation from which you can strengthen your family by example.”[5] She then spoke with love of her brother whose example helped her parents desire to go to the temple and be sealed to each other and their children. She quoted Elder Robert D. Hales: “If the example we have received from our parents was not good, it is our responsibility to break the cycle. . . . Each person can learn a better way and in so doing bless the lives of family members now and teach correct traditions for the generations that follow”[6]
My own life has been blessed because one person decided to break the cycle. My mother grew up in a home with parents who differed widely in age and with whom there was little communication. Their activity in the church and her father’s employment was spotty. The only nurturing my mother received as a young girl came from a much older half-sister. My dad’s upbringing did not reflect a very strong foundation in the gospel either, but my parents made a decision when they were married to be active in the church. My mother gathered lessons on love and parenting from the sisters in her ward and the friends in her neighborhood and she learned how to be a righteous mother. We did not do everything perfectly, but I never doubted my mother’s testimony or her commitment to the Savior. Because of her faith and her diligent teaching of the gospel plan, all of her grandchildren have been born in the covenant. Her children have served missions and taken callings, and countless others have been touched through her own church service. One person can indeed make a difference.
Though our covenants are made with our Heavenly Father, it is through our interactions with others that we prove whether or not we will keep them. I think the baptismal covenant as set forth in Mosiah makes our obligation plain. Alma had been teaching the people for many days. They were so spiritually starved that they left their homes and gathered in the wilderness to hear his preaching. He laid forth the first principles and ordinances of the gospel—faith, repentance, baptism and the Holy Ghost. When they felt the joy of the Lord, they wanted to know how to follow. Alma explains the covenant in plain terms.[7]
8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are adesirous to come into the bfold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9 Yea, and are awilling to mourn with those that bmourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as cwitnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the dfirst resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being abaptized in the bname of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a ccovenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?
We know from the rest of the account that the people rejoiced as they made their covenant. We don’t know any individual detail about what happened with these people later, but I think, probably not unlike us, once the initial euphoria of their spiritual experience wore off, they had to daily recommit themselves to the responsibilities of their covenant. The best way for any of us to prove the sincerity of our baptismal or temple covenants is in our charity toward others. There is no better proving ground for our souls than in Christ-like treatment of our families.
Sometimes this can be hard. It is not always easy to serve our family members, even when we know we should, and even when experience teaches us that service is the best way to be happy. For me, being a mother is sometimes frustrating. It isn’t just kids that get tired and cranky sometimes! As I try to guide my children, it sometimes seems like I have been forgotten; that any other thing besides mothering has been put on hold indefinitely. During his conference talk, Elder Packer spoke of the new calling one of his sons had. He said that though pleased with his son’s new responsibilities, it was the work in his home that was the most important. He said, “What my son and his wife are doing with their little children transcends anything they could do in the Church or out. No service could be more important to the Lord than the devotion they give to one another and to their little children. . . The ultimate end of all activity in the Church centers in the home and the family.”[8] When I feel tired and frustrated, I try to remember the importance the Lord has attached to the work we do in our homes and pray for strength to serve cheerfully.
We must not forget that every diaper changed or four a.m. feeding, every roommate consoled, every bruised knee kissed, every game of catch, every granddaughter taught how to cook, every article of clothing shared with a sister and every niece taken for an ice cream cone will teach love—both to those we serve, and to ourselves. The more love we show and act on, the more love we feel and the greater capacity we are given to serve. When families of any shape and size and configuration are filled with love, teaching the gospel and the purpose of life is the next logical step. As we serve one another with real gladness in our hearts, we become the Lord’s covenant people who will one day inherit all He has.
In conclusion, I would like to tell you about Russell. I met him when I’d been on my mission about five months and we felt impressed to knock on doors in his street. The first discussion was not promising. Russell’s house wasn’t clean, nor was Russell. His hair was long and unkempt and his clothes were dirty and ill-fitting. Though he held a full time job, much of his excess income went to alcohol and cigarettes. Later he admitted that he only invited us to teach him out of boredom.
Russell was not a golden contact, but the Spirit began working on Russell in quiet ways, and almost imperceptible changes began happening. First he cut his hair and dressed more carefully. He threw out his alcohol. He began reading scriptures and praying each day. There was religious music playing in his home when we came for our discussions. The night he decided to join the church he said, “I want to be baptized because the Spirit is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt and I never want to be without it again.” I learned, some months later, that he had finally given up cigarettes. A fellow missionary told me that he wore a new suit to church the day he blessed the sacrament, instead of the ill-fitting suit left over from the 70's that he had been wearing. He began saving his money so that he might more often visit his four sons who lived in another city. I lost track of Russell about the time I came home from my mission; the last I heard is that he had quit his job to move closer to his children and begin rebuilding a relationship with them.
Some years after I had been home, through an unusual set of circumstances, I learned of Russell again. He was serving as a member of a branch presidency in the small town he had moved to years before, and his son, who had been baptized some years before, had just been sealed to his wife in the temple.
As the Spirit and the knowledge of the plan of salvation worked on Russell, he became a contributing member of his family. The family he had once thought broken beyond repair, has begun to heal through Russell’s diligent living of the gospel. Such healing is within the reach of every one of us.
As we head into the coming week, may each of us determine to do one thing to better keep our covenants to our Father in Heaven by serving our families with cheerful hearts. I know that as we magnify the love in our families, and establish patterns of righteous living, gospel teaching becomes easy and natural. Our homes will indeed resemble the temple in sacredness as they become havens from a world void of direction and purpose.
The Lord lives and He loves us. Of all the wonderful gifts he has bestowed on us in our lives, one of the best of these is family. Of all His wonderful promises for the life to come, the best of these is the knowledge that family relationships do not end with death. As we form families based on His principles, we will progress through our lives according to His plan and learn what we must to live in his presence again.
[1] Moroni 6:4
[2] Ensign November 2007, “Strengthen Home and Family”
[3] Bible Dictionary under “Temple”
[4] Ensign, November 1995, “Stand Strong Against the Wiles of the World”
[5] Ensign November 2007, “Strengthen Home and Family”
[6] Ensign, November 1993 “How Will Our Children Remember Us?”
[7] Mosiah 18:8-10
[8] Ensign, November 2007, “The Weak and The Simple of the Church”
Text of talk dated 10/14/2007
Since getting married just a little over eight years ago, our family has moved nine times. These moves have taken us to very different parts of the country and all types of living arrangements. In the middle of all of this, we’ve had three sons, our oldest will be six in a couple of weeks and our youngest was just born in May. My husband and I have each held a number of jobs, and [Plantboy] has earned two college degrees in the same eight years.
When I condense our life together into a few short sentences, it sounds almost overwhelming, but with all this change there have been two important constants—our family and the church. Regardless of how far we’ve roamed from the parents and siblings we grew up with, we have the security of one another and the Lord’s promises to depend on. The church has been the other anchor in our lives. I have lived in over twenty different wards since graduating from high school, but I know when I go to church on Sunday there will be things that never change. [Plantboy] and I know that all we have to do is go the church on Sunday and we will be watched over and protected by the good word of God[1] and the love of his Saints. On the downside, it does mean we speak in church fairly regularly.
Our topic today is the Plan of Salvation. Rather than just give an overview of the plan, we chose to focus on just two key parts of the blueprint our Father in Heaven has laid out for our happiness. Today I will be speaking about the home and its role in preparing family members to learn of the Savior’s plan so that all will desire to make and keep both baptismal covenants and temple covenants. My husband will talk about the temple and its role as a place of spiritual refuge and progression.
As our world moves further away from the righteous purpose of families and proper relationships between men and women, it becomes that much more important to teach our children the sacred purpose of their lives and to give them faith to set proper goals and to work to attain them. In her Conference talk last week, Mary Cook, the second counselor in the Young Women’s General Presidency, quoted from For the Strength of Youth pamphlet saying, “being part of a family is a great blessing. . . . Not all families are the same, but each is important in Heavenly Father’s plan.”[2]
The bible dictionary states that “only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.”[3] This is a heavy responsibility for each family member. And while all families do not look alike, each of us have assumed some role in a family, or maybe many roles—parent, child, grandparent, aunt, uncle—each person has a unique part to play in the overall harmony of the family unit.
To learn more about proper family roles, we need look no further than the words of the prophets. It is interesting that the Proclamation on the Family[4] begins with a basic overview of the Plan of Salvation and the family’s purpose of helping the Father with his “plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” With so many dissenting voices about what people, particularly, young adults should be doing with their lives, The Proclamation teaches the following doctrines in clear and distinct terms:
1) Marriage is ordained of God and spouses should cleave unto one another and none else.
2) Children are a gift from Heavenly Father and should be treated as such. Husbands and wives should desire to have children, as well as to “rear [them] in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.”
3) Having children is not to be taken lightly and children are entitled to be born in a family to a father and a mother.
4) Mothers and Fathers have certain primary responsibilities, though they are equal partners. Families should carefully consider their individual circumstances before deviating from these duties.
Though these principles are primarily aimed at parents, there is part of the Proclamation that applies to any family member. “Successful . . . families are established on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work and wholesome recreational activities.” President Hinckley’s talk that included the first reading of the Proclamation in 1995 makes clear that every person has the privilege of helping create a successful family, and that each of us has the responsibility to increase Christ-like attributes in our respective homes.
In her Conference talk, Sister Cook also spoke of the need for each person in the family to follow prophetic counsel to pray, study scriptures, and to keep the other commandments. She said, “As you commit to these patterns of righteousness, you will be blessed throughout your life and will develop the spiritual foundation from which you can strengthen your family by example.”[5] She then spoke with love of her brother whose example helped her parents desire to go to the temple and be sealed to each other and their children. She quoted Elder Robert D. Hales: “If the example we have received from our parents was not good, it is our responsibility to break the cycle. . . . Each person can learn a better way and in so doing bless the lives of family members now and teach correct traditions for the generations that follow”[6]
My own life has been blessed because one person decided to break the cycle. My mother grew up in a home with parents who differed widely in age and with whom there was little communication. Their activity in the church and her father’s employment was spotty. The only nurturing my mother received as a young girl came from a much older half-sister. My dad’s upbringing did not reflect a very strong foundation in the gospel either, but my parents made a decision when they were married to be active in the church. My mother gathered lessons on love and parenting from the sisters in her ward and the friends in her neighborhood and she learned how to be a righteous mother. We did not do everything perfectly, but I never doubted my mother’s testimony or her commitment to the Savior. Because of her faith and her diligent teaching of the gospel plan, all of her grandchildren have been born in the covenant. Her children have served missions and taken callings, and countless others have been touched through her own church service. One person can indeed make a difference.
Though our covenants are made with our Heavenly Father, it is through our interactions with others that we prove whether or not we will keep them. I think the baptismal covenant as set forth in Mosiah makes our obligation plain. Alma had been teaching the people for many days. They were so spiritually starved that they left their homes and gathered in the wilderness to hear his preaching. He laid forth the first principles and ordinances of the gospel—faith, repentance, baptism and the Holy Ghost. When they felt the joy of the Lord, they wanted to know how to follow. Alma explains the covenant in plain terms.[7]
8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are adesirous to come into the bfold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9 Yea, and are awilling to mourn with those that bmourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as cwitnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the dfirst resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being abaptized in the bname of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a ccovenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?
We know from the rest of the account that the people rejoiced as they made their covenant. We don’t know any individual detail about what happened with these people later, but I think, probably not unlike us, once the initial euphoria of their spiritual experience wore off, they had to daily recommit themselves to the responsibilities of their covenant. The best way for any of us to prove the sincerity of our baptismal or temple covenants is in our charity toward others. There is no better proving ground for our souls than in Christ-like treatment of our families.
Sometimes this can be hard. It is not always easy to serve our family members, even when we know we should, and even when experience teaches us that service is the best way to be happy. For me, being a mother is sometimes frustrating. It isn’t just kids that get tired and cranky sometimes! As I try to guide my children, it sometimes seems like I have been forgotten; that any other thing besides mothering has been put on hold indefinitely. During his conference talk, Elder Packer spoke of the new calling one of his sons had. He said that though pleased with his son’s new responsibilities, it was the work in his home that was the most important. He said, “What my son and his wife are doing with their little children transcends anything they could do in the Church or out. No service could be more important to the Lord than the devotion they give to one another and to their little children. . . The ultimate end of all activity in the Church centers in the home and the family.”[8] When I feel tired and frustrated, I try to remember the importance the Lord has attached to the work we do in our homes and pray for strength to serve cheerfully.
We must not forget that every diaper changed or four a.m. feeding, every roommate consoled, every bruised knee kissed, every game of catch, every granddaughter taught how to cook, every article of clothing shared with a sister and every niece taken for an ice cream cone will teach love—both to those we serve, and to ourselves. The more love we show and act on, the more love we feel and the greater capacity we are given to serve. When families of any shape and size and configuration are filled with love, teaching the gospel and the purpose of life is the next logical step. As we serve one another with real gladness in our hearts, we become the Lord’s covenant people who will one day inherit all He has.
In conclusion, I would like to tell you about Russell. I met him when I’d been on my mission about five months and we felt impressed to knock on doors in his street. The first discussion was not promising. Russell’s house wasn’t clean, nor was Russell. His hair was long and unkempt and his clothes were dirty and ill-fitting. Though he held a full time job, much of his excess income went to alcohol and cigarettes. Later he admitted that he only invited us to teach him out of boredom.
Russell was not a golden contact, but the Spirit began working on Russell in quiet ways, and almost imperceptible changes began happening. First he cut his hair and dressed more carefully. He threw out his alcohol. He began reading scriptures and praying each day. There was religious music playing in his home when we came for our discussions. The night he decided to join the church he said, “I want to be baptized because the Spirit is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt and I never want to be without it again.” I learned, some months later, that he had finally given up cigarettes. A fellow missionary told me that he wore a new suit to church the day he blessed the sacrament, instead of the ill-fitting suit left over from the 70's that he had been wearing. He began saving his money so that he might more often visit his four sons who lived in another city. I lost track of Russell about the time I came home from my mission; the last I heard is that he had quit his job to move closer to his children and begin rebuilding a relationship with them.
Some years after I had been home, through an unusual set of circumstances, I learned of Russell again. He was serving as a member of a branch presidency in the small town he had moved to years before, and his son, who had been baptized some years before, had just been sealed to his wife in the temple.
As the Spirit and the knowledge of the plan of salvation worked on Russell, he became a contributing member of his family. The family he had once thought broken beyond repair, has begun to heal through Russell’s diligent living of the gospel. Such healing is within the reach of every one of us.
As we head into the coming week, may each of us determine to do one thing to better keep our covenants to our Father in Heaven by serving our families with cheerful hearts. I know that as we magnify the love in our families, and establish patterns of righteous living, gospel teaching becomes easy and natural. Our homes will indeed resemble the temple in sacredness as they become havens from a world void of direction and purpose.
The Lord lives and He loves us. Of all the wonderful gifts he has bestowed on us in our lives, one of the best of these is family. Of all His wonderful promises for the life to come, the best of these is the knowledge that family relationships do not end with death. As we form families based on His principles, we will progress through our lives according to His plan and learn what we must to live in his presence again.
[1] Moroni 6:4
[2] Ensign November 2007, “Strengthen Home and Family”
[3] Bible Dictionary under “Temple”
[4] Ensign, November 1995, “Stand Strong Against the Wiles of the World”
[5] Ensign November 2007, “Strengthen Home and Family”
[6] Ensign, November 1993 “How Will Our Children Remember Us?”
[7] Mosiah 18:8-10
[8] Ensign, November 2007, “The Weak and The Simple of the Church”
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