Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 Reading List

I have to be honest. 2012 was rather uninspiring when it came to books. Truthfully, much of this year has just involved keeping my head above water. Here is my recap. Resolutions later in the week. The coming year may bring some big changes for me personally, and for us as a family. We will see. In any event, I hope 2012 brings more than 33 measly titles. Let's shake things up this year by adding stars: 5 best, 1 worst. 

Book list:

Eldest and Brisingr: I am still not sure that I love these Paolini books. I think the story of the kid self-publishing and then getting a following is very cool, but these books are very lengthy and sometimes redundant. They are page turning because this sort of thing is, but maybe not really great. I will probably still read the last, provided I can get a deal on it, of course. Jedi Knight will probably love them in a year or two. ***

Engaging Teachers: Hey, I'm counting school books. At least the ones I read in their entirety. This is a very interesting book of essays written by teachers performing research in their classrooms. The idea of classroom teachers as researchers has never really been on my radar, but this little volume opened my eyes to a lot of things. I think it would be cool to publish in journals and so forth after I'm in practice. The current master's project I'm working on has potential for publication. I think this is something I would really enjoy. ****

Understanding By Design: This is the best curriculum book I have ever read, hands down. It provides a lot of theory, but also a wonderful scope for practice and application. I hope my next job is at a school with enough flexibility that I will be allowed to design my course from the ground up and not just be expected to tow whatever line they think is best. *****

Practical Research: Shoot me in the head. This book is, by turns, ridiculously basic (how to set up an e-mail account) and horrifically complex (unexplained formulas for statistical regressions, etc.) without any good middle ground. This book was all endurance. *

The Help: One of the best I read this year. Just as good as everybody said it was and then some. The movie left out a lot, but I also think it was a great edit and pulled in the most important aspects with wonderful performances. Whether you saw the movie or not, however, the book is remarkable. *****

Catching Fire: I read this with a tutoring student. This was a second or third reading. I think Catching Fire is my favorite of the trilogy. Less set up. No war. It is such a psychological book. Katniss' character has matured without stepping right over to crazy town. The author introduces plenty of new characters without missing a beat. And Finnick? What is not to love? It finishes with a cliffhanger second to none. I guess if you view this as a singular novel then it is a weakness, but taken as part of a whole, it works very well. I am looking forward to the movie. I thought the first one was a passable feat, with even some improvements over the book, but nothing quite captures Katniss' confusion and fear like her first person monologues. *****

Dragon books starting with Dealings With Dragons: These were cute enough. I read the four of them, but was pretty tired by the end. The first and second were the best. I think these would be spot-on for a 10 year old girl just starting to like fantasy. Funny and quirky, but a bit tiresome and predictable in spots. Ideal for a less mature reader. ***

Mockingjay: Another re-read with a tutoring student. I think this book is a fitting and painful end to the story Collins is trying to tell. I think teenagers should read these books, but mostly that they should understand them. Collins is trying to give a much bigger message than an awesome adventure story. These books force the reader to ask hard questions about the nature of war and its effect on those who fight. Is it worth it? ARE there causes worth fighting for? And no matter how hard we fight, what can we change? Is it possible for governments to be uncorrupted? People to be incorruptible? Mockingjay does drag in places, and I found myself a bit tired of being in Katniss's head--especially when she makes trips to crazy town. However, as a whole, this series is fantasy literature at its finest. I sincerely hope she doesn't write any more for the series. ****

An Innocent Man: John Grisham wrote this non-fiction account of an innocent man on death row and the years it took to free him. He used his convictions from this book to write a fictional book about the same topic. It helped me to deeply examine my own thoughts regarding our criminal justice system. My thoughts toward his main "character" however, were ambivalent. He isn't very sympathetic or likable . . . more like pitiful. The guy didn't get accused of murder for nothing.  ***

Catcher in the Rye: Really? A classic? There is a reason people are happier when teenage boys keep their thoughts to themselves. I didn't love it. I won't even pretend that I got much out of it. **

The Walk: Meh. Richard Paul Evans. I probably don't need to say more. It is an interesting premise, but the book just tries way too hard to be profound. Didactic. **

Harry Potter Books: I re-read several of these this year with Padawan. He really enjoys the reading aloud of these more difficult books. The fourth we listened to on CD in the car. They are really just so good. After Goblet of Fire I left Padawan in the dust and just had to finish the series again. The five-star rating is the series as a whole.  *****

Dare, Dream, Do: I read this book primarily because I have become virtual friends with Whitney Johnson, the author, and host of a really wonderful blog of the same name. I don't normally read this kind of book, not being really into self-help books. I find them by turns motivating and depressing. I have to say that this one was in a similar vein for me, though highly readable. Whitney chose wonderful guest blog posts to demonstrate the points she was trying to make, and her own writing and thoughts tie it all together. My ambivalence toward it (the motivating and depressing bit) probably has a lot more to do with my own issues. I'm good at dreaming, and even daring by Whitney's definition. The doing? Not so much. Though the intention of the book is to get the reader moving, it had more the effect of making me wonder just what I had accomplished because I felt the need to compare myself to the selected entrants in the book. ****


Jo's Boys: This was one of the last books on tape I listened to prior to quitting my paper route. I enjoyed it well enough. However, I must say that Alcott's best work really is little women. These books when Jo is running her school are really just thinly disguised sermons on good and righteous behavior. Even her characters who TRY to reform are often struck down. There is one character in particular I found myself really rooting for, but Alcott never let him quite rise above his station because he just wasn't perfect enough. By the end of this one I found myself saying, "I get it! If you are righteous you are blessed!" The thing is, "blessed" in Little Women means surrounded by friends and babies and laughter and books and love. Though the little women grow up and continue to say that, yes, this is what blessed means, Alcott rewards her perfectly righteous little misses with money and fame too. In addition, I think she never quite resolves the Jo and Laurie question. They are still just so chummy in this book . . . like a brother and sister . . . but I can really never quite forget that they are NOT brother and sister and that he once loved her. I just don't think Plantboy would go for me hanging out regularly with my brother-in-law like a BFF. ***

Goose Girl: I downloaded a version to listen to on our very long road trip this summer. It was really delightful. I then read some of the sequels. I liked River Secrets and Forest Born very much, and both are easier reads than Enna Burning. Enna is just a dark book. Still, none of them quite match the charm of the first. The five stars are for Goose Girl. The last two books are four stars with the series as a whole four stars. *****

Sarah's Key: This book better matches all the Second World War book-reading I did a year or two ago. This book is the terrible story of a round up of French Jews, by the French, near the beginning of the German occupation of France. This story is really fascinating, but the modern life overlaid on the past I didn't love. Why do the women in these books always feel the need to get divorced at the same time they come to terms with the past? ****

Seer of Sevenwaters: Reviewed before. The Sevenwaters books that followed the original trilogy just aren't as good. I re-read this because another one just came out. And though it doesn't look any more promising than Marillier's recent work, I have no doubt that I will read it anyway! ****

The Grapes of Wrath: I think this is a healthy book to re-read in an election year. It reminds me that the people have an on-going responsibility to fight systems that aren't working for them. It also reminds me that while neither governments or corporations have the answers, I'd still rather align with the group that at least pretends to represent the people and can be un-elected! *****

To Kill a Mockingbird: I think this one and the previous are tied in my mind for THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL. Both books have such important things to say. Though, it must be admitted, this one is more entertaining. Though themes are just as heavy in this book, its child-like narration gives it a much lighter touch. This was fun to read with a book group. I have done many re-readings of this book, but I haven't had a chance to talk about it with others since high school. My perspective have deepened and changed since then. *****

The Only Grant-Writing Book You'll Ever Need: This is actually a very engaging how-to book. I would recommend this for reading for any person setting out to write a grant, or even thinking about it. *****

The Forgotten Garden: I really enjoyed this Kate Morton book better than the one I read last year. This is a complex and layered story taking place over decades, in four generations, and through many turbulent times in history. It is a lovely story about women bonding through generations of love and mystery. An engaging read that really pulls you in from the beginning, but doesn't reveal all of its secrets until the last handful of pages. Mystery without too much macabre and no supernatural. Very enjoyable. The only thing difficult about the Morton books I've read is that time-wise she is all over the place. Each chapter (often short) in this book starts with a date and suddenly you have to re-think characters, situations, etc. I constantly had to remind myself what the characters knew versus what I knew. It would have been helpful to read with a timeline I could add to and character bios for continual reference. ****

Little House in the Big Woods: Padawan and I have been reading this series aloud and really enjoying it. This time around I enjoyed looking up a little bit more about Laura Ingalls' life and understanding better about where fact and fiction intersect in these books. I also never realized that she worked on these books with her daughter, who was probably a more gifted writer. Without Laura's past and stories there would have been no books, but without her daughter's gift for words there would have been no publishing. What a selfless thing to remain forever uncredited for such a gift to children the world over through so many generations. *****

The Robe: I am reading this for book group in January. I'm nearly finished so I'm counting it for 2012. It will probably get its own post. Not an easy read--more like a labor of love. It is probably one of the most life-changing books I ever read, however; and this read-through if proving profound again. ****

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Champions

A friend recently made an excellent point that the answer to a society that undervalues women is not to undervalue men. I agree completely, and it is probably the main reason I don't really see myself as a feminist. Of course not all who identify as such are man bashers. . . in fact, probably most aren't. But it is still there, and was a strong element in starting the movement.

I've been thinking about my friend's comment this week as I've thought about feminism, because I don't want to be one of those kind of women. Then I heard a line in a movie the other night that kind of put it into perspective for me. The movie was Eat, Pray, Love, and it was rather marginal. However, there is a really great line in it that has stuck with me. The main character, Liz (Julia Roberts) is traveling the world to find solace after a divorce and then an ugly relationship. Everywhere she goes people tell her she needs somebody in her life (male, of course) and she just wants to find her center. In the last place she travels to--Bali--she finally does meet THE guy. She just doesn't realize it. Somebody else tells her that he is the one (while he is standing there). As they walk away she says, rather rhetorically, "Why does everyone think I need a man!?!" It is unclear whether or not she hears his reply, but he says, "You don't need a man, Liz. You need a champion."

Wow.

What a line.

So, in fairness to the many wonderful men I have met in my life. I'm going to take a moment on this Christmas Eve Eve to pay tribute to my champions.

Friends. I have been fortunate to have many close male friends over the years. This is probably because nobody ever really wanted to date me. It is interesting that something that always seemed like such a curse to me, turned out to be such a blessing. If I had dated these wonderful friends who traveled in and out of my life, I would be truly bereft when they were gone. Instead, I am able to look back with joy on their influence and recognize it as being truly powerful. These friends were my champions because I always felt on equal footing with them. Sometimes that meant cooperation. Sometimes it meant competition. Sometimes it meant that their strengths compensated for my weakness and vice versa. From so many remarkable male friends I learned the power of leaving drama out of friendships; I learned about how men think; I learned about the power of serving a mission; I learned about balance; I learned that the best way for love to grow is to cultivate it in the soil of friendship. It is true that in the years since high school and college these friendships have, of necessity, waned. Married people must always be careful. But these wonderful men from my past taught me that I was looking for a husband to be a true friend who would pull with me. But more about him in a moment.

My Dad. My dad and I have often been at odds. Tonight is a perfect example. We clashed about gun control. We are finally in a place where we got past the clash, however, to have a conversation. We didn't leave it anger the way we have before and even found lots of ground for agreement. If only national politics were so easy! But the championing part came in something that happened earlier tonight. I mentioned that my dream job was open right now at Utah State. I described it to my dad and he said, "Why don't you apply?" Well, besides the fact that I'm probably woefully under-qualified, my husband happens to have a very good job in OREGON right now. He must have read the incredulous look on my face and said, "Apply! We can find Plantboy a job here." Just like that. No question that my career might be every bit as important as my husband's. When I grew up there was never a suggestion that I wouldn't be able to do whatever I chose to do. Being a woman had nothing to do with it. I can attribute my feminism, such as it is, to my dad as well as my mom.

My husband. I am so blessed to have married a man who is my best friend and biggest champion. It doesn't matter what endeavor we are in, Plantboy respects (and often defers to) my opinion, my wishes, and my wants. He usually knows what is better for me than I do myself. He speaks for me when I have a hard time putting my feelings in to words and solutions. If something happened to Plantboy remarriage would be almost impossible. You see, I'd be fearful fo being stuck with a man, when what every woman needs is a champion.

This holiday season I'm grateful for so much . . . but at the moment I'm especially grateful for my champions.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

A Candle in the Window

I have wished more than once in the past week that we were one of the those churches that gathered and burned candles and prayed. I've wanted that feeling of quiet and community solidarity. I've wanted to mourn the loss of those little lives; to feel the collective grief of a nation that must decide if such a thing will cause us to move forward with faith or with fear.

The little LDS girl killed in Connecticut is the niece of an acquaintance. The connection makes grief in this situation so much more poignant.

Much will be said in the coming weeks and months about gun control. The societal contract. Violent video games. Arming teachers. Mental health support. And so on and so on. At the end of the day I'm not at all certain that anything will be achieved. Or that whatever security measures we put into place will make any difference. Don't get me wrong; I think we should try. But if history teaches us anything, it is that a very small group of people who crave money or power or chaos usually get what they want. Because they want these things--the ugliest treasures of a fallen world--more than they want to live in harmony with their neighbors. Other people who make these things happen are desperate. Desperately lonely. Or poor. Or hungry. Or angry. This is the flip side of agency in the eternal scheme of things. It is the flip side of freedom in the political scheme of things.

I've felt some real despair this weekend. And then yesterday I felt the stupor lift.

I did a spontaneous thing for somebody outside my family. It was a thing I don't think the family would have been able to do for themselves. Doing this thing came at a sacrifice of time and money. And it made me so happy.

Then today I did it again. The sacrifice of time and money was much smaller but the effect might have been just as great. That made me happy too.

So happy. And I finally feel the Christmas spirit that has sadly eluded me this weekend.

I often see needs and think, "wouldn't it be nice if I . . ." and then forget or overlook or don't do it. But I think I have new resolve to act. To truly notice my brothers and sisters. To recognize that I've made covenants that require my stewardship extend to ALL my brothers and sisters, wherever they may be. I know I can't do very much. But I also think that this deep sorrow I feel this week for the weakness in mankind will be eased if I can look more deeply for the beauty and power and goodness in individuals. If I can work harder to be the change I want to see. I just want so badly to be good, but mostly to do good.

I told Plantboy that I'm think philanthropy might be the career for me. I asked him, rather tongue-in-cheek of course, if he would seriously think about making a load of money so that I might give it away.


Sunday, December 09, 2012

Feminism and the Education System

I tackled a bit of an issue with feminism and the Church . . . so now let's tackle feminism in the workplace. Specifically MY work place.

Not my house.

I mean, the work place I have been and will be again.

My premise here today is that teachers are underpaid, overworked and the schools are underfunded is because they are predominately staffed by women.

Teaching has historically been a profession of women. Let me rephrase that--PRIMARY school teaching has historically been a profession for women. It is only in the last 50 years or so that you have been able to find female teachers at a university level, but that is a different issue for a different time. For a long time, it was seen as the only respectable thing a woman could do, and probably seen as good preparation for a time when a young woman would have her own children. Times changed, and many of the early working mothers were also teachers. After all, the school schedule often synced to the kids' schedule and mom could still be home to be mom when the kidlets were home.

And yet, even with the feminist revolution, the profession of teaching continues to be dominated almost entirely by women. I'm guessing that most of you in this forum were taught almost entirely by women all throughout elementary school, and it wasn't until high school that those numbers began to balance a bit. Though I'm also guessing that your male teachers were more likely to be math and science teachers than English teachers.

This cultural norm persists for a lot of reasons. It is true that in general, women are more drawn to children than men are. Men who become teachers are more likely to cite an interest in the subject than an interest in children--this is also what draws them to secondary schools. Women are still by and large the primary care givers to their own children and they do want a career that helps them strike a balance with their family life. Teaching plays to strengths that have traditionally been the arena of women--nurturing, listening, directing, guiding, advising, talking, curiosity and so on.

All of these women in the primary schools, however, has given us kind of a weird cultural dichotomy. Boys and girls are taught together by women, though usually with a male principal. By age 15, most of their "hard" subjects are taught by men. The powerful female math and science role models are harder to find for the girls, just at the time when they stop thinking about dolls and start thinking about the future. This void is filled with boys, a preoccupation with appearance, and idiotic or cruel women who keep making it on to TV. The boys on the other hand, finally begin to see some men in the classroom. And again, these men are teaching the "hard" subjects. Math! Science! Computers! Business! Ways to make money! Their perception becomes that women teachers were okay when I was doing baby stuff like learning to count and read and such, but when I need to know the really tough subjects I need a man to teach me.

Is this an oversimplification?

Of course.

I'm a female science teacher with a biology degree and about to have another in technology. I hope that I'm not too much of an anomaly.

But it is true that we have a weird cultural construct happening in our schools: women do the majority of the basic skills teaching at our schools. Men take on a larger share of the specialized content, and administrative work. Children love their teachers and many seek to emulate them. If this is what they see as "normal" (men in charge and doing more intense intellectual work; women only working with young children and reporting to a boss), then it can lead to persistent cultural attitudes about what boys/men and girls/women are capable of.

The other place where feminism has a place in the school conversation is in funding. Salaries can be argued lot--after all, teachers really do only work 75% of the hours that other people work (arguable, teachers can put in a lot of extra hours when the kids are in), but the working conditions when described from the outside seem almost insurmountable. If you have never taught in a classroom, walk with me for a moment in the shoes of my son's second grade teacher. She has 38 children every day. In just one year, these children need to be ready for their first round of standardized testing in reading, writing and math. She has children of wildly varying abilities. In addition, she is expected to put together regular science units, art projects, field trips and music. Her break from these children each day is relegated to two 15 minute recesses, though some of those children stay in to do homework they didn't finish at home because they don't have help there. She has to be almost simultaneously a coach, referee, actress, paramedic, social worker, grief counselor, bully monitor, and cheerleader. She must be the most creative, dynamic and flexible thinker in the room.

When is the last time you felt overwhelmed in a primary class of eight eight-year olds?

Now times that by almost five. 38 children. Every day. Adorable and eager to learn, but so full of every human need imaginable.

I've never seen a teacher work as hard as she has this year. My child is thriving. I love her.

She is worth millions for the gifts of learning she gives to these children . . . for the earning power she is growing in those young, hungry minds.

And yet, every year, her worth is judged by a male principal. A male superintendent and school board comprised of mostly men. Ultimately, their decisions are based what the legislature decides. Again, mostly made of men. Men raised in the same system that tells them women are good for working with little kids teaching the "easy" (reading and adding seems pretty easy when you are 60; not so much when you are 6) stuff, and that men in business are worth more cause they do the "hard" stuff. Men raised in a system that tells them women in the classrooms can take it because they like kids; they are creative enough to make something out of nothing; teacher salaries are just supplemental to husband salaries anyway.

Now, don't get me wrong. Even my own father, absolutely a product of his time, never once considered me to be of less worth than my brothers. I was encouraged in every way imaginable to take full advantage of my education. I was never give a pass in math and science because I was "just" a girl. I am not saying that trouble with our schools can be boiled down to this argument, nor that more money in schools is the answer.

But I am saying this:

Isn't it funny that the military, stacked full of men and manly things (horses and bayonets) and funded by man-powered governments always seems to have plenty of money?  There are ridiculous reports of huge pallets of cash just carted into military installations in Iraq and Afghanistan and never accounted for. Millions up in smoke. Literally and figuratively.

And isn't is also funny the schools, stacked full of women and female things (binders full of women) but funded by man-powered governments never seem to be able to really do what they need to do. What could YOUR local school do with a huge pallet of cash? I bet you wouldn't build a bomb to take out the school across the city.