Thursday, June 11, 2009

Perfectly Polite Pirates

Here is a faithful transcript of a conversation overheard yesterday on the back patio at my house. My oldest, 7 1/2 will be referred to as #1; my middle child, 4 1/2, will be referred to as #2.

#1: Welcome to our ship, new pirate. What is your name?

#2: Um . . . . Argy Mate.

#1: Argy Mate?

Mom (from inside): Yeah! Like ARRGGHH-y Mate.

#1: Oh, right. Welcome, Argy Mate. We are delighted to have you as one of our new pirates. Tell us about yourself.

#2: (Rambled on at some length about a boating accident that killed nearly his entire crew.) Some of us found a life raft and we survived.

#1: What about your first mate?

#2: Dead.

#1: What about your second mate?

#2: Dead.

#1: What about the cookers?

#2: The cookers are dead too.

#1: That's terrible. (Gives #2 a hug.)

#2: Yeah, it's pretty terrible all right.

#1: Wait! What is that on the horizon!?! It's another small boat! It's your cookers! They survived!

#2: My. Cookers. Survived!?!

#1: Yes! Oh, I'm so happy for you!!! (More hugging.)

I don't think my little pirates are going to be considered the Terrors of the Seven Seas any time soon: they may not even be considered the Terrors of the Bathtub. But aren't their manners impeccable? I'm happy to report that at some point later in the afternoon there were actually some bad guys to best, and they acted like proper little wild boys then. Yelling, screaming, brandishing weapons, making a skull and crossbones flag, threats, etc.


Nerd Goddess said...

Pirates are so cool.

I'm glad your kids have good taste.

chris w said...

Excuse me sir, would you be so kind as to walk the plank?

Why yes, of course!

Oh, thank you. Very good. Aaarrrr!

Your kids are cute.

Melanie said...


Hmm, I feel a pirate party coming on . . .is that too five years ago?

Caitlin said...

Raising compassionate pirates is no easy task, you should be very proud.

Remember the slime recipe you asked me for? Did I ever send it? If I didn't, here is the link...

This slime is surprisingly not too messy, and it gets even less messy over time.

Last thing, I promise. I laughed so hard at your letter to Mr. Grouchypants. It is actually a little sad that someone's life has deteriorated to a point of such bitterness. You probably don't want to hear this, so I'll stop. I commend you charitable spirit however poor your dedication to quality service might be. That was a joke.

Jenny said...

The cookers survived.
I was so elated about that little twist I nearly got teary. Then I remembered we were talking pirates. All pirates like a good grog. A fine tale, matey!

Desmama said...

I'd be elated if my cookers survived, too. That conversation was hilarious!

Brian and Courtni said...

too cute! glad that you were close enough to overhear that.

Peacefull Reader said...

Don't you just love to overhear their conversations!! Priceless.

Christy said...

Loves it!