Just Give Me a Reason

If you automatically answered "just a little bit's enough" when you saw the title to this post then chances are this song has been stuck in your head at least once this summer. As it happens, this song has been stuck in my head more than once in the last few months. Probably more like once every day. Besides being crazy catchy and well-sung by Pink and that guy from FUN, I really love what this song says to me.

You see, the poppy love songs we are so familiar with are usually about unrequited love or new love or hyper-sexualized love, or love so strong that it will never even hit a speed bump. But this love song is different. The singer acknowledges that all of that initial attraction stuff was wild and passionate but that she is afraid they are past that now. She acknowledges a terrifying bundle of insecurity and asks him if he is tired of their love--but has that way of asking that gives him no choice but to agree with her.  He comes back to sing to her in a way that can only be described as bemused. "I'm sorry, I don't understand where all of this is coming from. I thought that we were fine."

This is such a typical guy thing to say, and yet his follow up line tells us what is so typical girl, "Your head is running wild again; my dear we still have everything, and its all in your mind."

I think they are probably both right. Women need to stop over analyzing and over thinking everything, but men need to acknowledge female insecurity as well and look for little ways every day to mitigate these feelings through small acts of kindness.

And then that awesome ear-worm of a chorus:

Just give me a reason

Just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken

Just bent

And we can learn to love again

It's in the stars

It's been written in the scars on hearts

That we're not broken

Just bent

And we can learn to love again

The thing is, when you have loved somebody for a while, love no longer feels like an ocean wave of emotion and attraction that sweeps you up beyond your control. Love isn't tsunami, it is the ebb and flow of the tides. And when love changes to this form, you must make a conscious choice every day to keep it alive.

Plant boy and I both love this song. I think we see ourselves in it. Plantboy's love, just like the man's in the song, has touched every part of me and helped to make me whole. . . And yet we still inadvertently hurt each other sometimes. The scars of the past are still written in our hearts. We may have healed one another but we cannot undo the past either. We are what we are. And sometimes, even couples who really love each other, get a little bit bent and must come clean with one another and learn to love again. This song isn't about falling in love in a love song. This is a song about falling in love every day in real life. Sometimes all you need is one reason to remember why you started this crazy journey together to begin with.

Even love written in the stars must choose every day if it is going to keep moving forward.