Where Have You Been?

Right here. Really. You know, when I'm not at work or running my children around or doing church stuff or home but working too. And I do blog very regularly. I appear monthly over at Aspiring Mormon Women, which is kind of awesome and the deadline thing really helps. I think it has also boosted my readership here. Why else would I have nearly 100 hits on posts that are months old? And in an almost impossibly tiny font? Yeah . . . I've got to fix that. I also keep two blogs for my students--one for my English classes and the other for my science classes. My science blog, in particular, is nearly always up-to-date and my class can just about be taken on-line for all the content that is there.

Anyway, I have some unusual "free" time tonight and decided to forgo my 85th round of Trivia Crack in exchange for something useful. What is this "free time" I speak of? Well, you may not be aware of it, but sometimes people actually get discretionary time in order to do things they enjoy. Or to recharge their batteries. It is probably good for me to get on board with that. I've been trying to use tacos, Dr. Pepper and chocolate to recharge my batteries. Newsflash: it just makes your butt bigger.

So I'm dealing with that too. The bigger butt thing. That will be in an upcoming post about the fact that I turn 40 this year. Free Geritol for everyone!

The thing is that I've really learned so much this year. About myself. About teaching. About living. Maybe it is the getting older thing, but I feel that I know less than I used to. I have more doubts and less surety about all kinds of things. . . but oddly enough I also am a lot less bothered by it than I used to be.

Anyway, while I have a space for doing so tonight, I am going to jot down some of these musings and schedule them to go out once a week or so . . . it might appear that I'm blogging that way.

In truth, though I blog regularly and really write all the time (curriculum creation), it just isn't the same. I miss both this format and my novel writing. I miss sharing my musings in a way that feels private (just me and my 100 closest friends, eh?) and I miss writing what I think so that my thinking gets better.

I know that to everything there is a season. At least I know it intellectually. But in truth, I want the season for everything to be now. I have a really hard time deciding how to spend my time and what to "focus" on. Yeah, I understand "focus" about as well as I understand "free" time. As I contemplate my upcoming birthday, the first milestone for which you can buy black balloons, I realize that I'm about halfway through this life--maybe a little more, maybe a little less. Is there time for all I want to do? See? Experience? Become?