Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I Just Wish I Was Smarter

Some weeks back my mom went to a regional women's conference thing where Sheri Dew was speaking. As she often does, she related a story about the Prophet. Apparently she had dragged her feet for a long time over a professional decision that needed to be made; by the time she made it, it was nearly too late and she could have averted a near disaster if she had acted sooner. She was relating this to the Prophet because their meeting pertained to Deseret Book. The Prophet said little as she talked through the situation. As she finished, she shrugged helplessly and said, I just wish I was smarter."

The Prophet said, "I wish you were smarter too, Sheri."


Then he smiled, laughed at his own joke, and leaned back in his chair. Still, he didn't tell her he was kidding. He merely said, "I wish we were all smarter. I guess we just have to do the best we can with the gifts God has given us."

This morning I had my own I-just-wish-I-was-smarter moment too. You know, you go along for a while feeling pretty charitable and kind and getting along with everyone and then . . . .


You do or say something you regret. This morning my sister and I were talking. She called to wish Scallywag a happy b-day and we shared the news from living in two different states, as we do a couple of times each week. Though my sis and I are not all that much alike, we tend to view certain things about the world in the same way. This is good--it gives us something in common and empathy for one another's perspective, but it can also make us judgmental and narrow-minded. Today, this commonality of opinion did the latter.

She and I ended up having a right good gossip fest about a couple of people (oh, and their families) that I really love. At the time, I guess the venting felt good or gratifying or something, but now I just feel gross. Shocker!

Why is it so hard for me to learn this lesson? This happens every few months. And yes, it is usually while I'm talking to my sister.

The worst part is that yesterday, a friend in our ward asked me to speak at the fireside for our youth next month. Topic: Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly. Really, good, STM. Way to get yourself all fired up for inspiration.

If I can't be smarter, I just wish I would more frequently remember to do my best with the gifts God has given me.


Doreen said...

Eh, we all have our faults. Good thing we can repent. And knowing/recognizing our weaknesses is the first step in fixing them (or at least attempting to fix them), right? Maybe this experience will actually help you in preparing your talk. Good luck. :o)

Christie said...

I love you because you're human. And humans make mistakes. Hence Christ. And as far as I can see, you're feeling Godly sorrow. Way to go girl! There's no scripture that says once you've repented of a sin you won't ever repeat it again. In fact, we're commanded to forgive others of committing the same sin against us up to seventy times seven times. What does that tell you? Yeah. The Lord knew we'd be knuckleheads. Doesn't that make you feel better? (By the way, when you share your mess-ups, I feel better about myself, but better about you too. Go figure.) I just posted about pursuing perfection. Let me know what you think.