Tuesday, June 17, 2008

You Might Live In Western Oregon If . . . .


There are four different brands of tie-dye kits at the Wal-Mart.


You have to drive 20 miles just to find a Wal-Mart.
Your husband says, “Look, honey, weed in the garden.” And you reply, “Weeds?” He says, “No, weed,” and shows you a wild marijuana plant the size of your little finger.


The big battle for president (or almost any public office for that matter) is more about the democratic primary than the final election.



Your bike is more likely to be stolen than your car, which is bad because you probably consider your bike to be the equivalent of a car.



Liberal bumper stickers are an acceptable alternative to having your car painted.



The Republican Senator runs re-election television ads boasting how centrist he is.



A mom and pop bike shop has $100,000 worth of solar panels on the roof and refers to itself not as a store, but as “a way of life.”



You can buy your gas here. (The prices are a little outdated. Like two weeks probably at the rate it is going up. Also, if you cannot tell, that is grass growing on the roof and the awning is covered with solar panels.)






Someone pumps your gas.


The person pumping your gas hits on you. And she’s a woman. And you’re a woman.


References to the civil war almost always mean any time the University of Oregon Ducks play the Oregon State Beavers. If “Civil War” is capitalized, you are referring to the football game wherein the winner takes home the Platypus Trophy.



Part of the donations for the local food bank come from an organic garden run by volunteers. (This is an actual picture of one of the greenhouses this extremely awesome organization owns.)
Dreadlocks are in even if you’re homeless. Oh, wait, voluntary homelessness is in too.
You hang these instead of wind chimes on your back porch.





11 comments:

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I think that the Platypus is quirkily cute. My kids informed me the other day that Platypus' are actually venomous with little pads filled with poison around their appendages.

My kids know weird stuff. Maybe I should put them on that lame 5th grader game show.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Weed in your backyard, tie-dye on your clothes line, and Bob Marley on your record player......all of which equals Xanadu to Oregonians. :)

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

You're such a vixen. I hope you let the gas attendant down gently.

Doreen said...

Can I come live with you, please??? Somehow, I think I would fit in much better than I do in the Lone Star Country, uh, State...

Slyck and Slim said...

So we watch this strange reality show on Discovery about loggers in Oregon and I think of you often because they could be some of your neighbors. Strange, strange. :)

Science Teacher Mommy said...

I once knew an Aussie who believed the platypus was the creature that God had allowed the primary kids to design.

Planboy loves that logging show.

Jessica said...

i miss oregon! we lived in eugene for a little over a year when we first got married. thats where ethan was born. i worked at a pre-k where there were quite a few children with 2 mommies. when my family came to visit they got quite a kick out of the saturday market -- i remember them taking a picture with a sign for "happy chicken eggs." you gotta love it there.

chicagosapps said...

There are a lot of things we miss about Oregon, especially all the choices for John's vegetarian palate. And we miss the summer weather. And how absolutely EVERYTHING grew splendidly, no matter how inexperienced and lazy we were with gardening.

Dickey said...

I love reading your comments..so entertaining! Also from your last comment..it is nice to know that someone I know and respect can relate.. (By the way we have a daycare/pre-k at the school.)

Maggie said...

Oh man I miss Oregon! My husband and I both graduated from OSU and there are certainly things I miss.

Nikki said...

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