You Might Live In Western Oregon If . . . .

There are four different brands of tie-dye kits at the Wal-Mart.

You have to drive 20 miles just to find a Wal-Mart.

Your husband says, “Look, honey, weed in the garden.” And you reply, “Weeds?” He says, “No, weed,” and shows you a wild marijuana plant the size of your little finger.

The big battle for president (or almost any public office for that matter) is more about the democratic primary than the final election.

Your bike is more likely to be stolen than your car, which is bad because you probably consider your bike to be the equivalent of a car.

Liberal bumper stickers are an acceptable alternative to having your car painted.

The Republican Senator runs re-election television ads boasting how centrist he is.

A mom and pop bike shop has $100,000 worth of solar panels on the roof and refers to itself not as a store, but as “a way of life.”

You can buy your gas here. (The prices are a little outdated. Like two weeks probably at the rate it is going up. Also, if you cannot tell, that is grass growing on the roof and the awning is covered with solar panels.)

Someone pumps your gas.

The person pumping your gas hits on you. And she’s a woman. And you’re a woman.

References to the civil war almost always mean any time the University of Oregon Ducks play the Oregon State Beavers. If “Civil War” is capitalized, you are referring to the football game wherein the winner takes home the Platypus Trophy.

Part of the donations for the local food bank come from an organic garden run by volunteers. (This is an actual picture of one of the greenhouses this extremely awesome organization owns.)
Dreadlocks are in even if you’re homeless. Oh, wait, voluntary homelessness is in too.
You hang these instead of wind chimes on your back porch.