Friday, September 12, 2008

In Short, You Are Just Not Enough

I love Kohl's. I discovered it in Texas when it opened on 249. The rule at Kohl's, however, is don't-even-think-about-it-unless-it-is-at-least-50%-off. And better yet, hold out until they put it on clearance in just a few weeks. Besides having a lot of season ending sales right now, they were kind enough to send me a 30% everything coupon this week.

Of course I went to just buy sheets (in response to Plantboy's comment, "these sheets are really rough; they are what? Nine years old?"). But then there was also this adorable outfit for my baby who wears something that is not a hand me down about one day in never. And then I found some really fabulous "skimmers." Dark blue, stretch denim, no gap waist, my size and a petite. With my coupon they would be about $7. Perfect.

Until I tried them on. I think the idea of the skimmer is that it skims the top of the knee? The following research backs me up:

My skimmers, on the other hand, are actually kissing the tops of my calves. Still cute, only I look even shorter than my womanly 5'2" when I'm sporting them. Remember, they are already a petite. I guess is makes sense that my skimmers are more like capris: Most of my capri pants fit like floods. If I was insane enough to buy skinny jeans they would look like tights. In fact, looking at that last picture again, I think I'm only about three inches taller than that woman's legs with her stiletto sandals in the mix.

To add insult to injury, I found a too-skinny letter from Deseret Book in my mailbox when I got home. I'll spare the details of the form letter here: my last rejection was better. And worse at the same time. Stay tuned over the next couple of weeks. I am working on a second blog that will be for fiction only. I think that after I've posted the chapters of my rejected novel, I may open it up to multiple writers and do more of a fiction/personal essay type of writer's workshop. Hope springs eternal.


Kimberly Bluestocking said...

Kohl's is great. Sometimes life isn't. :/

Looking forward to reading your second blog.

Christie said...

This post really resonated with me. Although I'm not petite in stature, I'm plus in size. And I too have dreams of publishing a book. My post today contains possible titles for my future books.

I'd like to start writing fiction. I'll read your fiction blog. I'm a newby when it comes to fiction. Maybe you could hold me accountable to actually write something and quit wasting my time. You're a teacher, you know all about deadlines and motivation. Work a little magic on me. Please!

kanaboke said...

I can't stop laughing...I too have the same problem, but I, unlike you still end up buying those skimmers/flood pants and wear 'em like they look cute on me or sometihng...hehehehehehe! No one has the heart to tell me that they look "ReeDicULuss", and it's just too bad 'cause I use them summer, after summer, after summer waiting for the Floods to hit Cache Valley!! :)

chosha said...

For goodness sakes, take the hem up and enjoy. Problem solved.

Looking forward to reading your fiction. Keep every one of those rejection letters. They'll be a source of endless humour after the fat letter arrives. ;)

Science Teacher Mommy said...

Great idea Chosha.

If I could sew.

And if the bottom wasn't an adorable cuff with a button on it.

I think I'll just relish my shortness. :)

The Grahams said...

I'm so happy you started your fiction blog. Sorry about the skimmers, I can relate. I have these capris/floods because I'm to short.