Monday, May 21, 2012


The Youngling found Jedi Knight's trains yesterday. The wooden Thomas tracks. They have been put away in a large box in his room for several months now because once JK became a Star Wars fanatic the other two followed suit  . . . and then to whatever next trend suited his fancy. In recent weeks I had considered putting them in the attic, lamenting that my youngest, five this week, had missed so many little boy phases in his rush to be a big kid. Anyway, without Mom's prompting, I walked in Youngling's bedroom to ask him to wash his hands yesterday and saw that he had built a large, rather disjointed, track all around the floor and under the bunk bed ladder. This morning I am sitting here, trying to find the ambition for my homework, and listening to his sweet little voice tell Thomas stories from the other room. A thing I have not heard around here in a long, long time. My heart is full.

My future career looks somewhat bleak at the moment and my years off-the-job will certainly not help, but as the tender memories of my oldest child (closer to eleven than ten) and the pattern repeated in my youngest, make me grateful down in my bones today for my decision to stay home. If I had not, then these sweet recollections would belong to somebody else, and Jedi Knight's childhood would be a blur of being too busy and too distracted. I don't fault any woman for working while her kids are young, I'm just fully aware of what a blessing it was to have the choice to be at home during the day.

The train moves on to the next horizon, but boy am I glad for the view from the rear door of the caboose.


Rainie said...

So so sweet. I just can't believe our how old are oldest's are! I'm sad it's flying by but like you, happy that I'm the one who has most of the memories of the sweet moments.

Janssen said...

Oh, that is darling. We are lucky to stay at home, aren't we?

I was a nanny for a little while and I cannot imagine what it was like for the mom to come home and have her son sob my name when I left and ask for me when he hurt himself when we were both there.

CO SIL said...

I have found myself immensly grateful for the fact that I did not finish my degree when I was younger, because financial pressures would have required me to be working all through those precious younger years. As it was, minimun wage would not have covered child care, and I was blessed to be forced to be home. Even though I have struggled over the last (ahem!) nine years to finish that darn degree, I am grateful for those blessings in disguise. My caboose only has 3 more years at our station, and I would have missed so much. You have made a great sacrifice, greater possibly for you than for many others, because you have such a strong ambition (or mission) to teach, but you are right, you have been very blessed. And you have done a great job!

Shiree said...

I sure love your writing, friend. It captures your little moments so well. I still need to read your Abish book.

Christie said...

Love this post! I stayed home for 16 years and yet I'll still be able to teach for 25 years if I choose to. There really is a time and a season to every thing under heaven.

P.S. My 7th grade son that you taught just graduated high school yesterday. He was the salutatorian and even received a couple departments awards -- one of which was physics. You sure started him out loving science. Thanks for that.