Sunday, February 16, 2014

To Do List

I think of all the things I would love to do if there was more time. I imagine in my head that if I had not gone back to work this year that I would have a delightfully clean house, three finished baby books, cupboards cleaned out and washed down, ironing always finished instead of piled up, my novel(s) finished. . . Both the ones I read and the ones I write, I would be at that target weight of 125, the yard would be weed free and my visiting teaching would be done by the fifteenth of every month.

I could go on but it is maybe better if I don't. I also need to remind myself to be realistic in these moments self-doubt and second guessing. An entirely different set of pressures and frustrations would be mine even as I accomplished my projects. I do have hope that next year will be better. There are certain, terrifying realities to being in your first year of teaching at a new school.

It seems that I used to be able to accomplish these tasks on top of my work, but it doesn't seem as possible anymore. Is it age? That my own children are busier? The distraction of technology? It is hard to say. I do hang on to hope that next year will be better. Maybe the workload won't be quite so heavy. Maybe there will be a slightly larger house to give us something to show for all our effort. Maybe we will settle into the new reality more readily. Maybe in the summer I will get to catch up on some of these projects.



But summer is already full.  Also, I cannot shake the feeling that I will be asked to teach physics next year. 

What would you do with more time. Or better yet, how do you carve out more time?


Sherry said...

I would like to say that if I had more time my house would be cleaner and I'd read more. But in reality I would just squander more time on the Internet. I feel like I've really struck a balance in the last year or so. I've nearly fallen off the face of the earth in regards to blogging, but that's just where I am right now. Within the next few months I'll probably be taking on more responsibilities at work (and also be making more money). If you ask a six months from now these same questions I may have totally different answers.

Kimberly Bluestocking said...

I like to think that I would exercise more and my home would be cleaner and better organized, but I suspect that, as Sherry says, I might just squander much of that extra time on things that are good but not best. I sometimes feel like I actually have more time than I realize; I just don't use it as well as I should.

Either way, I've lost count of how many times I've wished for Hermione's hourglass necklace.