Day 18
I love weather good enough to inspire spring cleaning. The actual cleaning, not so much. It is going to be a long, exhausting weekend. But very, very sunny. You know that time of year when you just aren't sure if spring will really come back around? Today I was reminded that it always does.
Day 19
I love looking forward to a date. Especially tonight's--we are headed to the temple. I realize that we can hardly call our service there a sacrifice, compared to what many members in the world must do to attend, (in Plantboy's mission, attendees had to use half a year's wages to take a boat four days up the Amazon and then get on a bus for 48 hours straight, it is slightly better now, but still a major ordeal) but it is still a seven-hour excursion for us start to finish when we throw in a fancy dinner at Jack in the Box. The kids are finally old enough that I feel okay about leaving them with a teen-babysitter and they will be asleep a big chunk of the time.
I've been feeling lately that I need the temple more than ever in my life, which unfortunately corresponds to the time in my life when it is the hardest to get there. I have to admit, I am really struggling right now. I think I may have a taste of what depression feels like. Any thoughts on this?
4 comments:
Everyone I talk to has a touch of depression right now- kids, old people, myself. People keep asking me if I'm tired and I feel like the honest answer would be "No, just depressed." But this sunny sun will help if we have the strength to crawl out onto the pavement and soak it up. I hope you soak up lots of sun and your trip to the temple helps you feel better.
I hope that's all it is. I do know I've never felt quite this way before . . . like everything I do is an exercise in futility.
Must get some sunshine.
I've been a little like this ever since we moved....I'm inclined to believe that for ME, it's a combination of this craptastic pregnancy (and the guilt over not loving it...) and this blased Pacific Northwest climate. This week? I feel GREAT. Even though I've got another cold, my kids are hooligans, the house is a disaster--well, the sun is out. The sky is blue, it's not raining, and I feel like a huge burden has been lifted.
I don't know though, that's just me. I'm hopeful that all of my futile/hopeless feelings frmo this winter will go away with spring and childbirth. And then, well, I'll be too busy/exhausted to be depressed, right? But enough about me. I just know that while I've never had any personal experience with depression until this year, I've definately spent more time thinking about it and researching it lately. And while in my case I've decided to call it situational depression for now, that may or may now be the case with you. I can definately empathize though.
Also? We finally got to the temple last weekend as well. It's the same thing--it takes up several hours, costs a pretty penny for babysitting (in both money and stress) BUT, it was SO great to be there. Nothing all that profound, but I've felt better all week and I'm sure that's the other half of why, along with all this amazing sunshine.
Serious stuff. Am here if you need to chat more.
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