A Shout Out to All You Sister RMs

For over ten years now I have had an idea in my head. I go through phases where I am more or less serious. But now, I'm really serious. Really.

I had a companion who suggested to me some years ago that I write a book about being a sister missionary. Because, she reasoned, our experience is just different because what we bring to it is so different than what the elders bring. I have given in a lot of thought and half-heartedly collected stories over the years. I think the slump has passed, however, and I'm hoping to spend a lot of time on this project this year.

What I am hoping to produce will be something more than a self-help manual and more than chicken soup for the sister missionary's soul. I think I want to create something more like a collective memoir.

My publishing track record is dismal, so there is little fear of my profiteering from your stories. :) When the result is in, if no publisher will pick it up, then I will possibly self-publish and send all contributors a copy.

Potential topics I'm seeking anecdotes for:

joy in the work
companions
obedience
hard work
faith
Holy Ghost
Joseph Smith
Priesthood
temple
charity
missionary's mantle
conversion

I've even set up an email account: sister.missionary@hotmail.com for stories or queries to be sent to. My real email address contains my name, so that is the reason for the alternative. So, here is your chance to tell YOUR story. If you did not serve a mission, but you have a sister or friend or female relative that did, please encourage a contribution. I think our voices need to be heard.

Snow Day = No Church?

We got a ten year storm in our portion of the NW today. It was beautiful, oh, except for the part where I delivered the hated Sunday papers in the snow. And tomorrow will likely be a big icy mess--there isn't a snowplow within 50 miles of our fair city. After Sacrament Meeting, the Bishop called off the rest of church as snowflakes the size of silver dollars were still coming down hard. Pictures to come.

I wasn't going to blog today; I'm trying to have a no Sunday policy, but I read something over on Foxy J's blog--an old post I missed--and I decided to post instead of comment. Before my remarks make a lot of sense, you probably should read the post, and the comments.

Basically, in response to her post, somebody commented that she had recently been heckled for attending a funeral in Utah. Why? The young man who passed away had committed suicide and was homosexual. The person who wrote in did not say whether or not the two were related, but my impression is that the persecution this young man had endured probably did not make for great mental health.

Now I'm going to tell a long story, but it really has a point, I promise. I once had a roommate who was dating a guy I couldn't stand. He was in training to be a seminary teacher, but he was probably one of the most judgmental people I'd ever met. I was a sophomore in college and going through my detox from my ultra-Republican upbringing. I had a microbiology class. One section was about viruses and we talked at length about AIDS, as it was just really hitting the news then and it was before a lot of the successful anti-retro-viral drugs were available.

Anyway, the teacher's brother had died of AIDS a few years before and he just taught with such pathos, that I was really moved and interested. I was speaking about the situation to my roommate and ick-boyfriend happened to be there. He interupted the conversation to say, "AIDS is just God's judgment for the wicked." He shrugged off the deaths of women and children in Africa as collateral damage, and then I described the horror of dying from AIDS. He just shrugged and said, "Fags and drug users deserve it."

I was in complete shock. Complete.

Never before had I visted a bishop when I hadn't been called in, but I really liked the man who was serving as my bishop at the time and I'd had him for Institute. He was especially sensitive and attuned to the Spirit. I set an appointment and spoke to him. I didn't go to tattle on the wanna-be seminary teacher, I was more concerned that I too, as a member of the Church with a rather fledgling testimony, was supposed to feel likewise.

This wise bishop listened very carefully to me and said with great deliberation, "You know, I don't understand homosexuality all that well. I can understand why women sometimes turn to one another--women are sensitive and kind and men can be very cruel. But I don't know how men can be attracted to other men.

"But still, those emotions are real and powerful. It would be very hard to go through a lifetime of not acting on those impulses. They are very strong. But what I want to tell you is this:

"That young man your roommate is dating does not speak for the Church, and he especially doesn't speak for God. See, the thing is, we will all die in our sins. It doesn't matter if they are "little" or "big." Any act of disobedience keeps us seperate, spiritually, from our Father in Heaven. We will all have to learn to lay those sins, our OWN sins, not somebody else's at the feet of the Savior."

He then sighed and shook his head, "I hope your roommate's young man never makes it as a seminary teacher. How will he react when a sensitive young man comes to him for counsel? His attitude and judgments have no place in the Church Education System. I hope she doesn't marry him."

She didn't. But she almost did. In the end he couldn't believe that she was really wanting to go to medical school when she could have a life of raising his babies and living on $30,000 a year. He was actually dating another girl at the same time and when roomie got cold, he was engaged within two weeks.

I hope he isn't your kid's seminary teacher.

Admit It, Indiana Jones Is Pretty Much a Babe

If I was a little lego-girl, I'd have to say that THIS is the guy I would really go for:




And speaking of things made in China. . . .

I think Huckabee must know his campaign is nearly at an end (funding reasons) because he was the only one willing to really tell it like it is as the various campaigning politicians gave their opinion of those fat checks coming in the mail this summer. Republicans, of course, praised Bush up and down. Democrats, of course, said it was too little too late. Huckabee? "Well, seeing as how we'll have to borrow money from the Chinese to pay for it, and most of the money will go to buy products made in China . . . it is hard to say whose economy we are really helping." Amen, preacher.


In an unrelated bit of news, what do you think you would do in this situation?

I Heart Utah

In the middle of my second year at USU, I interned for the Utah State Legislature. (I have always balked a little bit about saying I was an "intern" since the whole Monical Lewinsky thing. I wasn't THAT kind of intern.) Details from my time in the trenches will be in a forthcoming post about non-career jobs, but I just wanted to link you to this little tidbit from the 2008 Legislative Session, which opened this week.

The link is to an official site, and the friend who forwarded it is pretty sure the bill is legit.

So, what should the name of our 51st state be?


And will it be a clean cut, or will they break it up by county so the bottom of Utah is all jaggedy?

Where would the 51st star on the flag go?

State capital?

State monument?





State animal?






State flag?




First governor? First ladies?

Notes From the Weekend

Church is always an adventure, isn't it? Our Sacrament meeting theme was "Temples." There are so few RM's in our area that we actually have TWO High Councilmen speak on High Council Sunday (which reminds me of the only other joke I know, KimBlue; I'll have to pass in on sometime).

(Aside: I've just noticed a ridiculous number of capitalized words in the preceding paragraph, some of which I'm not sure about. If you have any corrections, I welcome them!)

Anyway, the first talk, from a new councilman was exceptional. Though I hated when he said, "This is the fourth time I've had this calling. I guess I haven't gotten it right yet." I hated it because first of all, that joke is old and tired: almost as bad as when the Bishop says of every advancing kid, "They've reached that ripe old age of _________." But I digress. This guy had not been called four times because he didn't have it figured it out. Quite the opposite. He was one of the best High Council speakers I've heard in ages.

The ward choir was good, and then the second speaker.

The. Second. Speaker.

I know you have to be careful about criticizing your leaders. I know. I learned that lesson the hard way once. (Not a bad story--maybe later.) But I think you also have a reasonable expectation to go to Sacrament Meeting and feel uplifted. I should have known we were off on the wrong foot when he prefaced his remarks by saying that he felt impressed by the Spirit to speak off the cuff. Even under the best of circumstances, he would not have been eloquent. That is okay, I don't really expect speakers in Sacrament meeting to be eloquent, but this was well. . . .

* He talked about a lot of temple symbolism, but not in a spiritual way. He talked about signs and symbols on the building itself and what they mean and he was all over the place. I kept waiting for him to whip out the Abraham papyri and wax poetic.
*He talked about temple dedications, quite specifically, sharing a few things that made me feel quite uncomfortable in the chapel.
*He came down really hard about choosing NOT to go the temple, particularly not to be married in the temple.
*He berated other churches for their lack of understanding of our beliefs and their criticisms of our practices.

Now, this ward, probably has more single sisters, sisters in part-member families, and sisters with less-active husbands than any ward I've ever lived in. So the worst is when he said, "No doubt many of you sitting here today feel," and he paused for a long time, "I'm looking for just the right word here," another long pause and then the moment that made me cringe more than any other, "chagrin . . . over not having a family sealed in the temple."

Plantboy had kind of a blank look, I felt the blood leave my face. I leaned over and hissed, "that is NOT the right word."

Chagrin (n): mortification, vexation, disappointment, embarrassment, sorrow, annoyance.

NOT the right word. At all.

Especially synonyms 1 and 4. Why should any sister in the congregation feel mortified if her husband walked out? Or if she never married? Or if she brings her kids on her own week in and week out because her husband's faith has faltered? Or if she felt inspired to chose a good marriage to a decent, supportive, non-member man over a life time of loneliness?

He then took a few minutes to share some really good doctrine on being faithful and no blessings being denied, but the tenor of the meeting had so changed by that point that is was really too little, too late. He then gave a personal example of a single sister in our ward and went through a complicated what-if/story about what would happen to her in the next life. I leaned over to Plantboy again and said, "This is making really uncomfortable." I was secretly hoping my baby would start bawling his head off so I could have a reasonable excuse to leave.

Now I sound like a real snob. I promise, I'm not. I can even concede that he probably was doing his best and felt like he'd really reached a lot of people. But for me, it was the most awkward 17 minutes I've had at church in a long time.

One of those "embarrassed" non-temple married sisters later gave one of the most wonderful RS lessons I've had in a long time as she testified powerfully about the nature of our Father in Heaven and understanding our relationship to him.

Saturday I went to Goodwill on my own and was able to really dig. I found a 3 dollar corduroy skirt from the Gap, that I really love. I also paid $4 for a gray Merino wool sweater from Banana Republic. And yes, I know that BR clothes are made in the same sweat-shop in Malaychinphilippico as clothes from Old Navy and the Gap. But this sweater spoke to me. And for $4 it didn't matter if I just bought a gray sweater around Christmas time.

Two funny things and a link, and then I'll be done. Promise.

My mom and dad went to buy a humidifier at Sears. Mom waited in the section where they were, while my dad went to find a sales associate so they could ask some questions about the model they were looking at. While standing there, a friendly Asian man walked up to my mom and smiled at her. He pointed at the humidifier and said, in very broken English, "We buy one from War-mart. Rast four day. We take back to War-mart and rady says, 'we have 20 return this week.'" He then shook his head, "Very cheap. Made in China."

My mom just smiled, though she wanted to laugh. She also admitted that what she really wanted to say is, "You look like you were made in China." My mother doesn't have much cultural sensitivity, but at least she did refrain from saying THAT.

Check out this video. If you have ever had an airline lose your luggage (as I did at Christmas), or if you really just love British humor, you'll think this is hilarious.



And click on this link. This guy has some ideas about the tax system that I really like and back up a lot of things that irk me: noticeably that tax-cuts during war time are just asinine and that an extra 4% tax on the super-rich doesn't really affect them, but cutting it undermines the government's ability to run its programs. And not just the Social Security programs the Reds are always railing against. Student loans/grants, public education, scientific innovation: the types of things that are programs that invest in people over the long run and have a proven track record of improving our society. Anyway, very interesting.

Wherin We All Had a Great Laugh About Mormon Culture

My sister in law just sent this to me. I haven't ever posted an e-mail forward, but I really though this was so funny:

If Mitt Romney became President of the United States (code name POTUS) won't we have something we've never had before -- a president who goes to a specific church? Other presidents belonged to religions that didn't have tight congregational boundaries. Now, think about this...

WHAT WARD WOULD POTUS BE IN? AND IF YOU WERE HIS NEW BISHOP, HERE ARE YOUR TOP 11 QUESTIONS!(plus more)

1. Will you allow an inaugural ball to be held in the cultural hall? If so, do you mount security cameras on top of each basketball rim and have a secret service detail stationed on the stage?
2. Can you call Mitt and Ann as the Nursery leaders... even if you really feel inspired?
3. Who is going to home teach them? Will you call someone who needs activation but may not pass the vetting and national security screening?
4. If Harry Reid and Mitt Romney are in the same High Priest group, will you need to be there to keep order?
5. Exactly how will tithing settlement work? Will the Secretary of the Treasury come too?
6. Will you be inviting the new Romney family to speak in Sacrament Meeting... and if they go over, at what point do you ask them to sit down?
7. Will the Secret Service do a sweep of the building before each meeting? And if the Romney's always leave before Sunday School, will the Sunday School President need to interview them? If they stay, where will you hold the class?
8. Can you call the Secret Service agents to help out in Primary?
9. If you give Mitt a calling and the two Democrats in the Ward raise their hand AGAINST sustaining him - partly out of habit - does the Supreme Court need to be involved?
10. If you can't give them a calling (job), and they don't attend very often (for presidential stuff) will that mean they're 'inactive?' If they're not active, can you give them a Temple Recommend? And if you do, can they go or will the Secret Service have to screen the temple too?
11. If the President wants to hold Sac rament Meeting at Camp David or the White House for security reasons, is that a conflict of Church and State?

NOW IF YOU WERE ASSIGNED TO BE THE ROMNEY'S HOME OR VISITING TEACHER...
1. Can you just drop by, no appointment?
2. Can you even call them for an appointment or do you have to go through the Chief of Staff?
3. Can you bring by Christmas sweets and cookies? Will they be analyzed? And for how many people - family, secret service details?
4. If you don't come can the IRS do an audit on you?
5. Will they want to do a national security background check?
6. Do you have to have a permanent companion who has been vetted or can you just grab any teacher or priest to come with you? And what if that priest has been a little wayward? Do you need to search him first?
7. Do you have to help him move in and out of the White House?
8. If Ann Romney gets sick, are you allowed to bring in meals or at least tell the Relief Society about it?
9. What can you share with the Bishop about the Romneys?
10. Do you have to ask them about their year's supply?
11. If you get a late night call for a blessing will reporters follow you around wanting to know what was wrong and what you said?

FINALLY, IF MITT ROMNEY IS ASSIGNED TO BE YOUR HOME TEACHER . . .
1. Is telling the group leader you haven't been home taught a national security breech?
2. If he wants to come at the end of the month, do you accept his reason, 'I've been out of town'?
3. Will he drop by unannounced or will the media crews give him away?

Number 100

Today is my blog's centennial!

Now that is out of the way, I will tell you about the marvelous date that Plantboy took me on Friday afternoon. Tickets to this were in my stocking on Christmas. He had even secured the babysitter like a month in advance. We went to lunch at a fabulous little Greek place and a used book shop before the show. This is not normally Plantboy's kind of thing, but I can hardly thing of a better way to spend 5 childless hours.

The show was really excellent; I especially loved the Riverdance, flamenco, Russian ballet and men's tap numbers. I was not crazy about the women's ballet numbers. The Riverdance girls had a quite a variety of body type, but none of them really had that long, lean, ballet-dancer look. The result was really athletic ballet dancing rather than the more graceful pointe dancing that I love so much. As wonderful as the music was, sometimes I felt like it was distracting to the tapping. The completely "a cappella" numbers were my favorite as the dancer's feet pounded in perfect, relentless unison in a way that vibrated the whole hall. So great.

The trade off was that he ended up working for a good chunk of the day on Saturday, but he did let me sleep in first.

Now, since everyone else has posted their New Year's Resolutions in this format, I think I should do the same. Maybe this is a way of keeping us honest with one another? I suppose we should check in on one another from time to time so this list isn't just revisited NEXT year when it is time to make more resolutions. So here goes:

1) Finish the Book of Mormon with my family this year and read the weekly lessons for the Book of Mormon. I'd also like to get some kind of book to go along with it--evidences, commentary, something. Any suggestions?

2) Submit my manuscript for publication to another publishing house; and a second, as needed. :)

3) Really put my heart and soul into my calling. We've had some very interesting discussions here about the purpose and the role of the Enrichment meeting. Church leaders have also had a lot of pertinent information to share also. I think I'm finally getting a good sense of the direction I want to go, and the counselor and I are totally on the same page. We are meeting tomorrow and I think it will be really positive.

4) Learn to do some basic sewing. I just procured a sewing machine yesterday. Although it is nearly 30 years old and missing a footplate, I called Sears today and they said they still make a pedal for it. I am the proud owner of this 80 pound behemoth and I'm now committed. Or I need to be.

5) Get back to work on my scrapbooks. I would like to have Pirate's finished by the end of the year. I only do kiddo scrapbooks up to age three. I would also like to get another two years done in my family scrapbook. Then I'll only be three years and one kid behind.

6) Read that whole stack of classics I bought at the used bookshop the other day. I will be brilliant by December. (Unless I keep following the campaign. In which case, my brain will be jello.)

7) With Plantboy, take our turn planning his family reunion. We are planning on heading to Bear Lake and already have a huge cabin reserved. If you have any marvelous suggestions for activities in that region, PLEASE let us know.

8) Work with Scallywag until he is reading more fluently.

9) Keep doing my morning paper route until we have cleared some debt and purchased a couple of furniture items that will make our home MUCH more comfortable. Oh, and we are paying off the student loan with this year's tax return! Yeah!

10) With Plantboy's help, put in what he calls a "salsa garden." He also wants to do some berries. Bring on the organic fertilizer, I can take it.

Phew! That is a bigger list than I expected, but my self-expectations seem to always exceed my grasp. . . but that is another story.

Words Overheard At My House This Week

Bork bork bork.

Bwah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Scallywag when he is laughing, Pirate when he is tantruming, and Tootypants when he is trying to get everyone's attention--his face turns purple when he does it.)

Beebo.

Bananapants
Bananastinkyhead
Bananapoopooheads
Bananamushface
Banana ___________

(Scallywag has decided that banana is his favorite funny word and Pirate has figured out that Mommy gets a lot less angry about "naughty" words if they start with "banana," because it means they are just being silly. I swear, the Poopy Pirate has Tourette's Syndrome. Besides his love of naughty words, often under his breath, he has a real OCD thing going--shuts doors and drawers like a man possessed, and he cannot tolerate even a crumb of dirt on his clothes or hands.)

People Who Make a Difference

Plantboy forwarded this clip to me from work. This engineer is an Oregonian who does work with Jeff's company occassionally. I really love this kind of thing. He needs to get a grant from the Gates Foundation or something.

Are You My Mother?

Some weeks back I posted about my first job experience and what I learned there. I promised a series of these (I know, you are all really hacked to not have seen the sequel before now); so here is the long awaited Part II.

During my junior year I blew all my savings (as well as a chunk of cash my Dad had saved for me) on a trip to London. It was marvelous and, I'm not exaggerating, life-altering in many ways. That might be another post some time, but back to the point. My parents had struck a deal with me as I cried my eyes out over $10 in change on the table my last night of work: that if I would work very hard during the school year, maintaining my GPA, then I would only be required to work summers and I would be given a generous allowance during the school year that would cover most of my basic expenses and my lunch. If something bigger came up--like a dance--then my parents would pay for that also.

It seemed more than fair to me; I was perfectly happy to spend all my afternoons at 16 going on 17 hanging out in the drama room after school, never missing a football game or stomp. I even went on a few dates and to a couple of dances. I took stats for the wrestling team and fell in love . . . . yes, my junior year was very nearly perfect (except for the one-sided love, but I digress again). I kept my end of the bargain and maintained an A average all year long, passed my AP test and began looking at colleges. Oh, and don't forget the London trip.

Then, in April, Daddy dropped the bomb I had forgotten about. Summer was coming and it was time to consider gainful employment once again. I hit the pavement, putting in applications everywhere within reasonable distance of our quiet suburb. The mall first. A grocery store. Then the fast-food places. NOBODY called me back. Of course, if they had, the interview would have quickly come to naught when they called my first boss.

The end of May rapidly approached and I began to panic. It wasn't just the money thing, or even the obligation I felt under to my parents, but there was something seriously boring about sitting around all summer, just waiting for my life to restart. Then Mom stepped in with a plan that was just about the best thing that ever happened to my life.

She was wanting to work more hours at the hospital where she was a nurse just one or two shifts each week, but she didn't know how she would manage to get everything done. She proposed paying me to play mom on the days she was gone. I would do laundry, grocery shop, run the kids around (the still-at-homes were 10 and 13), cook, clean and basically keep the house running. A maid-nanny-errand girl.

I was paid, though it was really a pittance. I think it was like $20 a day for the days I worked, and I basically worked all day. I agreed, not really caring whether or not I earned a lot of money, and grateful for the way out while still feeling I was keeping my committment to my dad. I also believed I was helping my mom out. And maybe I was.

So while the pay was lousy, the lessons were invaluable. I learned to make several different, simple meals. I learned how to grocery shop, and still know a trick my mom taught me: I'm able to estimate, usually within a dollar, exactly how much my final bill will be, just by calculating the groceries in my head as I place them on the conveyer belt. My husband thinks I'm magic, just like I used to think my mother was magic. I learned about the laundry and the stupidity of washing clothes that were not actually dirty. I learned that running a household is challenging, often complicated, an exercise in frugality and can be very frustrating.

After that summer, I was very diligent about making my bed, keeping a clean room, eating all my supper, washing my own laundry, and mostly

SHOWING GRATITUDE TO MY MOTHER.

Sometime before all of this, I told her one day that if I ever got married I only wanted one, maybe two kids. It was much easier in those days to see myself as a career woman than a wife and a mother. I don't know why; I didn't really know anybody like that, but mothering, especially small children, was very unappealing to me. My mother's reply was, "What will you do with the kids while you are working?"

Shrug, "I don't know, day care?"

"So, you want to have kids, but you want somebody else to raise them?"

I had to think about that. That summer was the first time in my whole life that my mother hadn't worked nights. I knew she loved her job and she was very good at it, but her career was NEVER more important overall than what was going on with her children. I could see that she had given up half her life so that we would be good, stable, happy individuals. That summer, I also learned that mothering, while not without its difficulties, was a really good thing.

As my attitude changed, so did my career plans. I began looking into various nursing programs and decided that was the path my life would take. Despite a series of personal setbacks that had happened in the late spring and early fall of 1992, I applied to be the General Sterling Scholar at my high school. My application was more of a whim than anything else and, as rejection had been such a constant companion at that time in my life, I had little expectation of a favorable outcome.
Then, to my surprise, less than 24 hours after my interview I was selected. My counselor told me that while my application wasn't quite as stellar as the other two (Honor Society President and the only Asian student in my class), my interview blew the judges away; the other two had hardly been able to look them in the eye. The district interview went just as well and in the winter of my senior year, I was on my way to Salt Lake for the state competition. (Bear with me, this will get relevant very quickly.)

During the interview, a really bitter, bearded professor from SLCC said, "This is a prestigious scholarship; you have written down here that you are interested in nursing. Why nursing? Why don't you want to be a doctor?" (I am sure my mother would have set him straight about how much MORE important doctors are than nurses.)

Almost without thinking, I said very simply, "I would like to have a family also. I am not sure that, for me, becoming a doctor would be compatible with my personal goals ."

He narrowed his eyes at me and said nothing more. Nor did he say anything through the remaing ten minutes of the panel interview.

That night, we sat in a great reception hall at the Capitol Building waiting for the big announcement. I was sweating buckets in my bright red, shoulder padded jacket and turtleneck. I was nervous to be on television in front of all those people. I was, after all, going to win, right?

Just before the announcement came, a tiny voice whispered to my heart, "Sorry, not this time." I brushed away that annonying voice until it came a second time. And then I KNEW. I knew that I wasn't ambitious enough to satisfy the panel. Especially bearded guy. I knew that my simple declaration and committment to family had been the nail in the coffin. Almost without thinking and certainly without realizing what I had done, I had chosen family over career.

I was just seventeen, and though kids would almost be another decade away, I didn't look back. So, the part-time job that paid the very worst probably gave me the most important lessons. Hm . . . . except for the part-time bit, it sounds like real mothering.

A Few Great Things

I thought about posting a really snarky bit about 32 hours in the car with our kids, a last minute flight to Denver and sitting for a whole day in the SLC airport with a baby, too many politics, getting ready for a family wedding, the stress of three year-olds and the expense of Christmas. . . .


I would have titled the post "By Big Fat Christmas Mormon Wedding On The Road."


But I will refrain. I will refrain because the paragraph above gives you a taste of what the last few weeks has been like and the GOOD things about this vacation were just too good to treat lightly. So that is what I'll talk about instead.


Plantboy is the 6th of nine children and his youngest sister got married a few days after Christmas. When she was endowed, Plantboy's parents and all 8 siblings and all but one of their spouses was in the temple. The moment with us all dressed in white in the Celestial Room was just too great for words, and too sacred for much detail. I knew as I looked at Plantboy's mom that she was thinking that moment was probably the crowning spiritual achievement of her entire life, and a thing that will not be likely to ever happen again. It was a moment that gave the tiniest glimpse of eternity.


Plantboy's youngest sister is years younger than the rest of his siblings and there has always been a very heavy degree of resentment over this. As a teenager, she always overlooked the blessing of getting so much attention, not to mention money, from her parents and felt like an outsider to most of her brothers and sisters and more like a grandchild to her parents (she is just a month older than her oldest neice). I've come to know her quite well over the last few years and she and I have had some very frank talks, but in all that time, and with all her cooped up bitterness, I have never seen her emotional. In the Celestial Room that day, the tears just poured down her face. I think for the first time in her whole life she understood the nature of the love that exists in her family . . . . the love they really have tried to show over the years. In that moment, knowing that we had gathered from as far away as Guatemala to be there for her, she understood what it means to be a FAMILY. I hope she never forgets.


The wedding was lovely too, with all in-laws present and accounted for too, but there was just something about being all in white the day before with such an intimate group. The groom is a convert of just 13 months and had no family in the temple. And though the family wasn't sure to begin with if he was right for their sister, I hope he felt some of that love too and will understand the blessing of becoming an eternal part of such a group of people and that his own, new testimony, will continue to grow. I pray that they will learn to be unselfish and to sacrifice. I pray that the storms of life that beset every normal, young couple will not be too much for them.



I love temple weddings because you get such good temple instruction and doctrine that you don't hear anywhere else. It made me wish again that we lived just a little closer to a temple. Right now, when we go, I have to find somebody willing to babysit my three kids pretty much ALL day. Not something you can ask a person more than a couple of times a year. And many of the friends I've begun making here all seem like they are just one step away from a complete nervous breakdown. Not a situation where you want to throw three extra kids into the mix.


Before leaving for the wedding, we spent time with my friends from college. It is kind of an annual tradition that all of us debate doing, and then we get together and it is like NO time has passed. I had such a special group of college buddies--guys and girls--that really helped me hold it all together through some really difficult times. And though we are now scattered from Oregon to Dubai, some friendships are always meaningful. That was a stressful, busy day, and that night Plantboy and I had a fight that lasted about 20 minutes. I know that doesn't sound like much, but those of you who know my darling husband know how mild-mannered he is. I can count on one hand the number of times we shouted at one another. We both felt so bad that making up was quick and sincere.


After getting home from the wedding, I went shopping with my sister. Which. Was. Wonderful. Even better than going down the hill on an Snotube together while Scallywag laughed his guts out. I wish we could have spent two more hours just acting like mall-rats, sis. Oh, and the matching sweaters are a must for next year's Christmas party!



But duty called me away from shopping, and I'm glad it did. We went to visit Plantboy's aging grandmother in SLC. It was cold and I really didn't want to drag the kids back out and make the longish drive the day before we were heading home, but I am SO glad we went. She was thrilled to see us all. Plantboy took pics of her with the kids. When you live like nomads, you never know when you'll get a phone call that will tell you the last time you saw a person is the last time you'll ever see them in this life. My hubby is certainly no prophet, but it was plain to me that he felt an urgency about this visit that I haven't seen before. His goodbye was tearful, and the pictures were important to him. . . .



I don't know if that means anything, but even if it doesn't. I'm glad we went.


So, it was another vacation where all we do is run around a lot, attempting to help our children build relationships with extended family, and most of our activities were obligations more than choices. Still, we chose to move away and that is one of the consequences.


But we are really thinking of NOT traveling next winter and maybe taking the kids to Disneyland. Am I brave enough?

My Predictions

Plantboy asked me what I thought happened at the Iowa caucus before revealing results. I called it--except for the Fred Thompson out of no where thing. I think that is just an attempt to vote for somebody DIFFERENT than the choices offered.

What do I think will happen?

Democrats: Obama will continue to gain momentum as independents frustrated with the Republican Party register as democrats to vote for him. Smart democrats will also vote Obama in order to get somebody less polarizing on the ballot because the Democrats really can't afford to lose another presidential election. Hard-line Democrats will absolutely not vote Republican no matter what, but I think Obama could win over a fair number of disillusioned Republicans that would NEVER vote for Clinton. Way too much history. John Edwards might raise a stink for a while, but Obama took 38% in Iowa. That is almost a mandate. (Even though voter turn-out was pathetic.)

Republicans: Romney and Huckabee will split the evangelicals in states where they turn out to vote. In states where evangelicals aren't as big a force, Romney will come out ahead. Unfortunately, Romney's tactics (running a lot of negative ads, critical of other candidates, etc.) is going to fracture the party. The best chance the elephants have for a November victory is to follow the Democratic lead and try to get somebody on the ballot who is an experienced bridge builder--John McCain. Yes, yes, Romney has been enormously successful in any venture he has undertaken, but he didn't spend 18 months alienating the people he was supposed to be working with before beginning any of his assignments either. However, ultimately, I think Romney will get the nomination by a very narrow percentage. In November Barack Obama will soundly beat any Republican candidate except McCain (which will be closer, but still a Democratic victory).

My dream team ballot? Barack Obama for President with running mate John McCain. Don't laugh, McCain was on John Kerry's short list for VP's.

It Isn't About Politics, I Promise (Okay, It Mostly Isn't About Politics, So Just Keep Reading)

I know that my political musings--diatribes, rantings--haven't gotten a good response; that is okay. I write this blog, in part, to help clarify my thinking, which sometimes includes bouncing ideas off of others. There is much to tell as I'm still on what is beginning to seem like a very lengthy vacation, and Christmas always lends itself to great kid stories.

It has also lent itself to much family togetherness, which has been really good. (Aside: it has also really hit home this week how far away I am from family and there has been a degree of homesickness that surprised me. This will, no doubt, be a subject for a future post.) It has also meant that there is much Mitt-championing going on because members of Plantboy's family, particularly, have definitely jumped on that bandwagon. What has amazed me is the extreme sensitivity over any question of Romney's candidacy or tactics. It reminded me of a post of KimBlue's some weeks back.

She discussed a survey about viewing/listening/reading habits of conservatives and liberals. One major conclusion was that conservatives tend to avoid media that disagrees with them because it seems threatening or dangerous to their ideals. Liberals, on the other hand, observe all types of media and are more likely to have shifting opinions. I have been mired in the land of Conservatism these last two weeks.

I guess I believe that we need to stick to our guns where principles and eternal gospel truths are at stake, but if we occasionally, or even often, change our minds about the efficacy and logistics of certain practices, then perhaps this is just evidence of progression? I'm tired of being told that I've gone to the dark side because I don't believe the government's whole role should be to bomb countries with more oil than us. If the government is a reflection of its people, then what does this say about us? But you know my feelings on THIS.

I probably won't/can't say much else. My blog is being read by some suprising people who don't always leave comments until after they've read for some time, or they tell me in person. And while I'm happy about this, I am starting to see that the idea of an on-line, open journal definitely has its limits. Forecastcallsforrain told me that she loves her Dallas book club because all of the members are from different wards and the group is pretty exclusive. She says it is kind of a place to go and dump the baggage because what happens at book club stays at book club. I feel like I need a place like that.

Hm . . . . now it sounds like I'm an incurable (insufferable, incorrigible) gossip, but I'm really not. I've just got a lot rolling around in my head right now that I'd like to "talk" about, but I don't think this is quite the right forum, though there are some of you I'd like to really hash out some of this stuff with. My journal writing used to be a place I could really unload on the page; often times, by the time I'd finished writing I'd feel better, more clear-headed and and relieved from some of the emotional baggage. But blogging . . . well, it is just different. And though this is filling an important niche for me, it is not quite filling the niche I expected it to.

As I approach post #100, I need to do some re-thinking about what I'm doing here.

Mother of the Year (Alternatively Titled: And Then She Needed Her Head Examined)

I mostly love to read stories about all of your adorable kid things. Sometimes I wonder at my own motivation when I post these stories/events. While most of it is to say, "Look what we are up to?" or "Aren't the kids adorable?" But sometimes I have to say that these cutsie posts smack of "Look what a great mother I am!" And I hope that I am self-aware enough to tell you right up front that the tone of this post will lean a little bit that direction. So if you hate that sort of shameless self-promotion. STOP READING RIGHT NOW.

Okay, if you've stuck with me this far then you get to listen to me pat myself on the back. :) So the Poopy Pirate agreed enthusiastically to my birthday party idea, even though I must be nuts to allow any kind of tradition that occurs less than two weeks before Christmas. Then, brilliant STM that I am, hit on the idea to have a "Go Diego Go" party: the current love of our three-year old life. The alternative was a Thomas Party, but I've just done WAY too many of these. (Not as many as on.the.run. but enough.) Should be a piece of cake, right?

Wrong.

If there is Go Diego party paraphenelia out there then it is not for sale in our corner of The Land of Commercialism. Instead mommy basically created the party from scratch, though after four phone calls I found a bakery that could do my cake "kit." Here is a sampling--notice my fabulously coordinated blue and orange as well as my blue and orange children:


It was hard for Scallywag to understand that it wasn't actually his birthday. He was right in the thick of making the invites, decorating, welcoming the kids and (naturally) opening the booty.

Below is a picture of us playing a board game called "Go Diego." No, I did not actually purchase said game for the party, though it came in handy. How long do you think musical chairs can be played with a group of three year olds? Nope, not even that long. The game was a space filler before the pinata extravaganza. Which was Scallywag's idea. (Aside: I really wanted to get a princess or Dora pinata and take a turn of my own walking the you-know-what out of it, but I am a model of decorum.) Oh, and in the picture below, that is me on the left. This is the only shot you'll see of me. Plantboy took some video from the party which apparently primarily involved getting three minutes of my hiney. Not posted.

This is a bean bag toss game, only you don't throw bean bags through holes. Or even bean bags for that matter. What you do is take some of Captain Tootypants' soft blocks and throw them as hard as you can at pictures of diego and the animals he is rescuing. For stickers.

Now for the part where mommy needs her head examined.

After the party (and waiting for the parent who thinks the party ends 30 minutes later than it actually did), I had to drive all over the neighborhood because I have started an early morning paper route. How early you must be asking? There has hardly been a day in the last month that I've gotten out of bed later than THREE AM. I am NOT making this up. Anyway, I was having a couple of route troubles so I drove all over making sure that I had my house numbers correct when I could actually see them. The paper route will, no doubt, one day be a very charming post all on its own, so I will refrain from further comment here.

Then I went to Staples where I picked up the copy of my book that I made to give to my mother. I did a very ruthless edit and am extremely happy with this (temporarily anyway) final version. I still think that unless you read more than the first three chapters you aren't sure if you're sold on it, so I may try another publisher that looks more at an entire manuscript (or at least says they do). My plan is to send it off again in January.

I came home just in time to realize that I had signed up weeks before to feed our missionaries, which I do every month, but I'm never consistent about the day or the week so it is always a complete shock when they call. I noted with some smugness that sister missionaries are more considerate about calling at least a couple of days in advance. Elders . . . . .

So last Saturday was a very long day. Perhaps not as long as this coming Saturday wherein we will load three kids in the car at three am and hope to make Ogden in 13 hours.

Last two items (I know, I know, I've got to get the pics off my camera more often):

We've had our Christmas on for about a month now, but I had to post a picture of my Christmas tree. I bought it at a garage sale in Champions Forest because the family had three others (my TX friends will appreciate that tidbit). We were traveling that year and a tree was not in the budget. Neither were presents. Neither was the traveling. Anyway, it was late afternoon when I stopped on a whim at the garage sale. How much did she want for this seven foot beauty covered with seven strands of white lights? FIVE DOLLARS.

Um . . . sold?

Anyway, nearly all of the ornaments are homemade and we add a few each year. This year it is clothespin angels that my neighbor taught me how to make. It is a little bright, bold, silly and just so darn homey. We love our tree. I think Plantboy would love to do the lumberjack thing and get the boys out in the woods to pick their own, but I remind him how environmental this is: we reduce because we don't get a new one every year, we reuse this one and we recycled it from somebody else. So we are having a green Christmas in at least one respect.

Almost ready to wrap up, promise. Here is the baby who slept like an angel all through the Diego Melee, but has been a little devil over the last 48 hours with an icky fever and more snot and drool than I've ever seen even come from a BIG person.

My last item is just such a funny kid thing that you will definitely be rewarded if you have made it this far. Yesterday afternoon, Pirate dragged out the dinosaurs that haven't been played with for months. He began making up names for them and acting very silly. He began calling this dinosaur the yee-horse. I have no idea why.

Anyway, Scallywag got after Pirate for making up "dumb" stuff. Right, because Scallywag isn't full of it. Anyway, it turns out that the yee-horse can fly. Well, this was even more dumb in Scallywag's book, but when he saw what fun Pirate was having, he promptly picked up the other yee-horse, who is pink and apparently the female.

I'm not sure what these two yee-horses are doing:

But this is their baby, who is still learning to fly.

Looking for Love

I really need to post pictures from our 3rd birthday Diego party extravaganza, but maybe tomorrow.

Instead, a funny story and two great videos.

Scallywag Plankwalker has, for some odd reason, been interested in finding a wife (he sometimes calls her "mother") lately. The Poopy Pirate was given a puzzle-map of the United States for his birthday and Scallywag is fascinated by it. He is constantly asking to put it together and wants me to tell him the names of the states. The other night he was running his finger around the map and said to Plantboy, "Yep, somewhere around here I'm going to travel to find my little lady."

"Little lady, huh?"

"Yep, a little lady to get married to."

Today, as he looked at the map (as well as a world map we found on-line) he said, "I'm going to go to Brazil to find my little lady. Then, we will move back to Oregon. After our first baby we'll go to Texas. Then, after our second baby we'll got to West Virginia. After our third baby then we'll move to Canada. After all that, we'll get on a boat and go to Hawaii."

"To live?"

"No. For our first vacation." After all that, he's going to need one.

A nomad in training.

Here are the videos. I subbed RS in church on Friday. I pretty much had to fight the ugly cry during the entire lesson. The topic was on missionary work and it just happens to be ten years ago this week that I came home from the Great South Land. Besides feeling really old, teaching this lesson just reminded me for the umpteenth time how much I loved those people and how much serving a mission blessed my life. I showed the link in the lesson because President Kimball said that righteous members were "the best advertisement for the Church."

This link is to the story explaining the origin of the ad campaign. I've also linked the summary of the comencement given by Elder Ballard at BYU-Hawaii last week is reported on; his remarks go along so beautifully with his conference talk.

As I watch these commercials and it is like the Church has grown up. I'm not sure if can really explain that? It is like the Church is getting ready for another great round of converts or something. I hope I can do my part; I pray daily that I'll raise my sons to do theirs.

Worthy To Suffer Shame

In a post comment a few days back, I indicated that there was NO WAY I would vote for Mr. Huckabee because he had once been a Baptist minister. After posting the comment, I realized that this is as narrow-minded as the NPR piece that got my back up to begin with. So, for a few days I tried to find out more about Huckabee (do we really want a president with such a last name?), and I was actually quite liking some of his ideas. Then, a couple of days ago, this story came across my home page.

I was like

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While, strictly speaking, this is correct theology we are dealing with here, but I've only heard this statement worded precisely so when speaking with a person quoting anti-Mormon literature. The only political leverage to be gained from such a statement is an attempt to paint Romney as a member of cult and thereby undermine his support among conservative Christians. Such personal attacks on a person's religious belief can have NO bearing whatever on any rational approach to politics.

I am about four months behind in my Sunday School lessons, and I was just reading Acts 5 the other day: one of my favorites in the whole New Testament (actually the first SEVEN chapters of The Acts are such affirmation for LDS theology that you have to wonder how the early Christians fell apart so quickly). Two of my favorite all time verses are found here.

The first is about Peter. The apostles are brought before a council and critisized all around for preaching Jesus. The high priest believes the apostles are only preaching about him in an attempt to pin his murder on them. Peter insists that no, his only desire is to witness about Jesus' life and resurrection so that people will feel the spirit and become saved. Despite wanting to kill him, they really have nothing on Peter and the apostles and they are released. Then, Luke records the following, "And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name."

I don't agree with Mr. Romney's politics, though I think there are certainly WORSE choices on the ballot (particularly the Republican ballot). But I have had a lot of empathy for him the last couple of weeks. I too have suffered shame for His name, and in the moment I have never felt cause to rejoice. I mostly felt hurt and confused and that I had been treated unfairly. Mostly I felt that I had cast my pearls before swine. . . .

I wonder if Mr. Romney is feeling any of these emotions this week? I pray that he will one day look back on his (short-lived?) run at the White House and feel joy that he was willing to suffer shame to stick to his beliefs. It takes true courage to stand up in the face of so much opposition.

The next part of this same chapter that I love has also been on my mind. And perhaps this is the greater message to the world in response to the way Mr. Romney has been treated. The reason the apostles were even released is because of a man referred to as a "doctor in the law" called Gamliel speaks in favor of amnesty, using an example from an earlier event in the city and then saying the following:

" . . . Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God."

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is just ONE generation away from its bicentennial. It is truly the stone cut out of the mountain prophesied by Daniel in ancient times. The world may rage against its doctrine and try to lure its adherents away into false paths, but the church will grow. "As well a man might stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Missouri river in its decreed course, or to turn it up stream, as to hinder the Almight from pouring down knowledge from heaven upon the heads of the Latter-day Saints." Those who have disparaged, criticized, born false witness against, or treated lightly the sacred things of the Church will one day know that they were mistaken. And only an infinitely loving Father in Heaven will be able to give them a second chance.

I know that Elohim and Jehovah appeared together, united but unique, to Joseph Smith that day in the grove. I know it. In the years after, I know they directed Joseph into forming a church. Not a reformed church. Not a protestant church. A RESTORED Church. A Church based on truth and modern prophetic revelation, not on assumption and dead philosphy. That prophetic line has not been broken even to this day. Anybody can know this for themselves. Anybody can read and pray and ponder and know if they will pray with a sincere heart.

If Mr. Romney's bid for candidacy does no more than genuinely interest some few who are seeking to know truth, then it will be worth all of his time and effort and money and pain.

As Promised! The Chastity Talk

Fireside Talk:

This is excerpted/paraphrased. My original remarks were about 50 minutes long. The theme was from D & C 121:45 "Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts Unceasingly," which is the YM/YW theme for 2007.

I began by showing them pictures of myself in junior high and high school and spoke about trying to reinvent myself every year because I kept thinking that I'd have more confidence if I could just alter aspects of myself that I hated. These were mostly superficial things. Clothes, hair make-up, peer groups, etc. The kids, obviously got a real kick out of my late-eighties, early nineties attire and hair disasters. I'll pick up here:

"And while I was figuring out a lot about myself, there were still things that just didn't seem quite right. There was this boy that I really was crazy about who never saw me as anything more than a friend. I never quite got the grades I really craved. I never was the lead in the play. I never made student office. Even during my senior year, as I learned what I was good at and had lots of friends, I could never quite get rid of my inner turmoil.

"All this time I had attended seminary and church regularly. I knew a lot about the Church. I had felt the spirit many times and even borne my testimony, but I frequently doubted the truth of the gospel and often mistrusted my feelings.

"This is my state of mind when I got to college. And although I was thrilled to move out and be on my own, I was overwhelmed with the number of freshmen girls at my university. They all seemed just like me! I felt kind of adrift and without identity. And for the first time, I was very closely exposed to students who did not keep the commandments, or even pretend to. I

"Then during my freshman year of college, a series of a terrible and unrelated events happened, all of them within just a couple of months of each other." My freshman year was pretty bad--friends having terrible accidents or cancer, a brother with an emergency surgery, an aunt who died of cancer at age 34, leaving behind four young children. . . you get the picture.

"Up to that point, I’d had very few trials and I felt like my life was crashing down around my ears. And for the first time in my life I had to know if the gospel was true. I had to know if families were eternal, or if the whole temple marriage thing was just a nice fairy tale we told ourselves to feel better about death. I had to know that there was a purpose to trial and suffering and difficulty. I had to know there was a reason to keep the commandments and be righteous, when I was surrounded by those who seemed to have a lot more fun by not doing these things.

"So I did the things I’d been taught. I prayed and studied the scriptures. I read stories from the life of the Savior and tried to learn who He was so I could begin to understand what He had done for me, and what He meant to me. I worked hard on being a good daughter and good friend. And then one day, I knew. I still remember the chair I was sitting in and the passage of the book I was reading when it hit me. I knew that Jesus had died for me, a poor, struggling college student who had no idea what terrible thing would happen next to someone I loved. Once this knowledge flooded me, the other pieces of the gospel fell into place and I knew that our trials had purpose and that families were eternal. I didn’t doubt any more, and I began keeping the commandments because I wanted to.

"And I learned one of the most important lessons of my life: confidence does not come from changing your outward appearance or your friends or from always saying the right thing, though the world will tell us this is the exact formula. But this prideful sense of self-esteem is just Satan’s counterfeit for true confidence.

"True confidence is something else entirely. True confidence is trusting the Lord so completely that our testimonies do not falter even when the storms of life beset us. True confidence is having our thoughts so in tune with the Lord that the Spirit is our constant companion in the face of every difficulty, temptation and trial. "

We then discussed the scriptural theme for the year and talked about the terrible circumstances under which Joseph was given this revelation. I told them that I loved this scripture for its built in promise about having confidence. My whole life I'd fought so hard to have confidence, but the formula was there in the scriptures all along. This, incidentally, is the only time in the scriptures that the word "confidence is used."

"True confidence . . . has nothing to do with how we dress or look or act, it has everything to do with how much faith we exercise.

"So though I’ve spent most of our time here tonight focusing on this remarkable promise of confidence in the presence of the Lord, I’d like to take some more time now on the virtue part."

We then discussed the 13th Article of Faith and how it uses the term virtue in two different contexts. "The first time it comes in a list of other good attributes. So our first working definition is that virtue is a particular attribute, a Christlike attribute, that is desirous to have. The second time it is used, it gives the impression that all of these things can be considered virtuous, so that virtue can also be a general category of good things.

"Some years back President Hinckley wrote a book that spent a couple of weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. This book may look familiar to some of you. Now you are probably all too young to have been aware when this came out, but if your parents have a copy of this book, you should read it. The book is called Standing for Something: 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes."

The kids came up with as many virtues as they could. I mentioned that although they were all good, we wanted to emphasize, "chapter three of his book called, 'Making a Case for Morality, in which he uses the words morality, chastity and virtue interchangeably. So while virtue is being generally a good person, virtue is, specifically, keeping the Lord’s law of chastity. Just so there is no question about what this law is, I’m going to quote directly from For the Strength of Youth 'Physical Intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage.'

"I think it is important to point out here that the term “sexual intimacy” is used, which is more encompassing than if just the word “sex” is used. If you have any questions about behaviors and whether or not they are appropriate, you should read the rest of this section as well as the section on chastity in 'True to the Faith." Or talk to your parents and leaders and bishop. And if you are behaving in any way in reference to the opposite sex that even raises a question in your mind of whether or not it is appropriate, then stop what you are doing immediately.

"I want to quote somewhat at length from President Hinckley’s book here. I am also going to have several of you read quotes from his book as well as a talk that was given in October Conference 1998 by Jeffrey R. Holland, which I first heard when my husband and I were dating. I quote liberally from the prophets here because their words, while being plain and unapologetic about our standards, are also filled with love and authority."

The kids read several excerpts which I will not quote here--you really should read both the chapter and the talk in their complete form. EXCELLENT stuff.

"I know it is hard. I know it. About a year before going on my mission, I committed myself to the Lord one night in my prayers, promising that by my 21st birthday I would be ready and worthy to go to the temple—whether to be married or to go on a mission would be up to Him, but I would be ready.

"I was so grateful for my commitment. Just weeks after making this promise, I was tested in this very principle. I came to the moment of decision, and if I had not decided before-hand and made that firm commitment of worthiness to the Lord, I would never have had the strength to make up my mind in that instant. And if I had not made the right decision, I would have regretted it for months, and maybe years after.

"Because it wasn’t marriage that happened for me first; it was a mission. The confidence I took with me on my mission, true confidence based on the Lord’s requirements, was one of my most valuable possessions. Only perfect trust in the Lord could have compelled me to knock on doors, day after day, week after week and share the gospel message. And even after thousands and thousands of rejections, my testimony, my faith and my confidence only grew. I saw an elder on the last day of his mission knock on a door and say with absolute steadiness, 'Sir, I am here on your doorstep because the Lord wants to call you to repentance. Will you listen to our message?' The man did listen. Only perfect purity of heart can give you enough faith to say such a thing to a perfect stranger.

"Now, I know that you are exposed to things so much worse and more shocking than what I was exposed to as a teenager, but I also know--I know--that you were saved to come to earth for this time because you are the very best the Lord has. Many of you sitting in this very room no doubt sat at the knee of our Father in Heaven before you ever came to this earth and solemnly promised to do all in your power to overcome temptation and return to Him. There is nothing the world has to offer that is greater than the Kingdom of Heaven. Nothing.

"Satan knows this. And I hate to even bring up his name. I hate to even give him mention in a place that should uplift and edify. But he is so real. He knows you are the best of the best. It is nothing for him to claim a soul that is already on its way down to hell, but if he can claim one of YOU for his own—one of God’s own elite—then he laughs and laughs as he watches you surrender your agency to your passions, as he watches you surrender your body to one who will break your heart and surrender your soul to himself, so he can enslave you.

"I’d like to take a moment to address the boys.

"I’ve never had a teenage son, nor have I been a teenage boy. But I have taught hundreds of middle and high schoolers over the last several years and I have three sons of my own. I think I know a little bit about how boys tick. You hear talks time and time again about the evils of pornography. But even with the repetition, I don’t think the warning can be repeated often enough. There is nothing in our society that will give you a more perverse idea of relationships between men and women. There is nothing that will lead you to objectify and distort the truth about love and intimacy as much as pornography. It will poison your mind and heart and spirit. And if doesn’t even have to be hard pornography found in certain places on the internet. Any television program, song or commercial that treats women as objects to satisfy desire is unworthy of a priesthood holder’s time and attention; even a moment is too much if it seeks to cheapen things that are sacred. If you do date, date in groups. If you date alone, specify a start and ending time to the date. Bring her home early. Whatever you do, PLAN activities for your dates. There is nothing more flattering to a young woman than to know her date has cared enough about her to plan something to do. If you are in a place where your guy and girl friends are doing nothing more than hanging out or, worst case scenario, watching a movie in the dark, then have the courage to be like Joseph of Egypt and FLEE. Have the courage to date girls who are keeping gospel standards, even if it means you may not get a goodnight kiss. Have the courage to tell a young woman who is dressed modestly how pretty she looks and how proud you are to be seen with her.

"Now the boys can tune out while I address the girls.

"You young sisters have more power over the young men than even they will dare admit. If you would one day have strong marriages and worthy priesthood holders leading your families, you must not do anything that would jeopardize the young men you associate with—either the young men you date, or the young men you are friends with—from going on missions. On their missions they will learn the true nature of love and sacrifice; they will return home ready to settle and commit and lead. The way you speak, the way you dress, the way you walk, has a huge influence on any young man in your vicinity. Using your words and your body to tease, tempt and control is the cruelest use of the powerful gifts God has given to you. Do not wear clothes that are so tight your straps underneath can be seen; do not sit on a guy’s lap, even if he is just a friend; do not give back rubs; do not wear dresses that creep up your legs and shirts that creep up your bellies. Try clothes on until you find the ones that fit you properly so they are not too tight or too sloppy. But most of all, do not explain away such behavior. Rationalization is no substitute for quiet dignity and modesty. Nobody should ever have to look at you and wonder if you are LDS.

"And while many of these things, on their own, are not direct violations of the Law of Chastity, I have seen every single one of them lead to things that are.

"In the Book of Mormon, Alma gives some advice to each of his sons before he dies. He says to one of them, 'Bridle all of your passions that you may be filled with love.' The world would have us believe that expressing your passion is the equivalence of expressing your love. But the Lord’s way is the higher way, and he says that expressing our passion is absolutely NOT love: it is keeping our passion under control so that we might have time to learn and develop true Christlike love instead of just giving in to our selfish desires.

"When I knelt across the altar from my husband eight and a half years ago, surrounded by family and friends in that beautiful sealing room in the Logan temple, I knew that we were worthy to be there. I knew that any price I had paid in self control was worth it for that moment and for the eternity we would have together, and the children that would be born to us. On that day, I began to understand what it means to really be 'in love.' I testify to you this day, that keeping your thoughts clean and pure and virtuous is WORTH IT. Whatever sacrifice you think you are making to get your life in order is NOTHING compared to the blessings the Lord is waiting to give to you when you approach him with clean hands and a pure heart.

I concluded by sharing two stories: the first of a girl I had grown up with who allowed herself be led away, and the second of a remarkable young man I taught on my mission.

After sharing the story of the young woman, who, after a series of terrible choices, ended up pregnant by age 16, I said, "Not long ago I heard about her, though my parents have since moved from that neighborhood. She is renting the home she grew up in from her parents who have moved away. She has several children now from at least two different fathers and has been divorced a couple of times. Her unwillingness to keep her thoughts and actions pure has caused her to have a life that is difficult and no doubt, filled with a large measure of sorrow. At what point could she have turned things around?"

There was some discussion about the right time to make good choices, and then one especially perceptive Priest said, "Now!"

"That is right. At any point she wanted to. The Savior’s atonement is real and powerful. At any moment, even now, that she decides her life is not what she wants it to be and she desires to repent, she can begin the long process back toward the light. Any one of you sitting her tonight has the same promise extended. If there is anything in your life that needs changing, do it now! The Lord is waiting to help you overcome your sin and to bless you anew with the power of His Spirit. You just have to take a single step in the right direction. I shared her story because I don't think any dicussion of chastity can be made without reference to repentance."

I then shared a story of one of the most remarkable young men I've ever met, Peter, and shared his conversion story I was pleased to witness during my mission. The central pont was that, "Peter did not have a single thing in his life when we met him that would give him anything the world termed confidence.

"Still, even before joining the church, the strength of Peter’s spirit shone through and he was a young man of integrity. A year or two previous he had made a commitment to himself not to drink or smoke as well as a decision to live the law of chastity. While this may not seem too remarkable to you, growing up in the church and being trained to make these commitments from your early childhood, but to a young man growing up in Australia! Such a commitment outside the church is hardly ever heard of.

"After his baptism, Peter glowed with such a light that he found himself a white shirt and tie at the thrift shop and was out door knocking with our district leader before he had even been a member for a month. Our district leader said that Peter was more bold at the doors than even he and his companion and his strength of spirit and pure testimony had given them teaching opportunities they wouldn’t have otherwise had.

"Peter’s journey hasn’t always gone as smoothly as those first several weeks, but he has endured. Just over a year ago, he and his wife were sealed together in the Sydney Temple. Now, if Peter will stay true to the covenants he made both at baptism and in the temple, keeping his thoughts and actions clean before the Lord, then he will be able to be the husband and father that his own dad was not. He will be walk with confidence when confronting any situation because his life is right with the Lord."

I closed with my testimony of the divinity of the soul and the Lord's love for each of us, urging the kids to find out for themselves who they really are and to gain a testimony so that resisting temptation will not be as hard.

I think it went over pretty well. The leaders liked it and the kids are all still speaking to me.

Is There Anything This Cute At Your House?

Because Mormons Are Defensive, and Clannish

I listened to this story yesterday on NPR and then came straight home and sent the following email to NPR. (If you click on the link you only have to listen to the first two minutes or so to find out what prompted my reply.)

As an member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I found Michelle Norris' Monday interview with Pastor Mike Rose on Monday offensive to my faith and irrelevant to any pertinent and thinking discussion of politics. It is true that members of the LDS church do not consider themselves Protestant Christians, but it doesn't follow that we aren't Christians. As the fastest growing church in North America, it is no wonder that pastors and ministers of other faiths have spent decades attempting to spread misinformation about our faith in attempt to prevent their congregants from opening their minds to further possibilities. However, all religious discussion aside, Pastor Rose was unable to give a single argument against Mr. Romney other than his Mormonism. His remarks made it seem as though a vote for Mr. Romney is tantamount to accepting the tenets of the LDS faith. Pastor Rose's evidence of conservative Christians in Iowa being uneasy about Mr. Romney was merely anecdotal and not at all specific. While he attempted to sound as though he was paraphrasing the opinions of others, it is plain that Pastor Rose used the interview to spread his own belief that Mormonism is a "cult." (A term used three or four different times in the piece, while protesting a desire to belittle anyone else's belief.)

There are thousands of conservative, Christian, Mormons living in Iowa. I am sure that any one of them would have been happy to present another side to a radio station that is usually so careful to truly understand the issues. If Ms. Norris was concerned about getting a biased view by interviewing Latter-Day Saints, then she should reference several great articles written by Jan Shipps, a prominent LDS scholar, who is actually not a Mormon herself. Her work is well respected by many both inside and outside of the Church, and she has a very concise way of helping curious on-lookers to understand a very interesting, and popular, subculture of American life.

Unfortunately, Ms. Norris' piece on Iowa's conservative Christians did very little to help us understand what is really going on in the state, and gave platform to the religious bigotry that members of the LDS church have tried for nearly 200 years to get past.

Thanks for your time,

Elastic Waistband Lady Had a Point

Don't worry, you'll all get the chastity talk, I just haven't modified it to this format yet.


The comments in my last blog really became a political discussion of sorts. I was a bit dismissive of Chavez as any kind of a real threat to the US. Then I read this today. Scary stuff, along the lines of the "if you aren't with us then you are against us" rhetoric I so love.


I guess we are getting oil from one more enemy. What is it with dictators and statues? Or in this case, balloons? Think pyramids. The ultimate diva fit, I guess. What do you call a he-diva?



In an unrelated bit of news. I just finished reading my favorite Christmas book. This has become a nearly annual after Thanksgiving read for me. It is just so cozy.